Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Welcome Homer

Aaaaaah, home runs again! I'm no homer freak (that would be Yankee fans *spit*) but sometimes the small ball gets tedious. Especially when your radio announcer has the best home run call in all of baseball! I think it's also fun to see guys homer counts go up as well as see who is going to hit a rare homer. Those out-of-the-blue blasts are pretty sweet!

I'm lookin' at you, Michael Brantley! Home run number two! I wonder if anyone else realizes his jersey number is 23? He should do some sort of introductory commercial.

Speaking of Michael Brantley, dude also got a single and stole a base. Oh and uh...A WALK-OFF WALK! Hahaha totally cool, what a great hitter he is! He swung at two then stood there and watched Kyle Farnsworth throw him four balls in a row.

How embarrassing for Kyle Farnsworth!

Oh yeah apparently before the game, some Plain Dealer writer decided that Brantley's nickname should be "Dr. Smooth" and ran it by Brantley and Brantley said it was "cool." "Dr. Smooth", really? Why not like Mr. Cool or Awesomeguy? Jesus, can't anyone tell that he was just humoring the guy? How about LeBrantley or Leadoff Louie or even Michael Smooth, Esquire? "Dr. Smooth"? Count me out.

I thought Santana was Smooth, anyway? Or maybe he's Supernatural? Ah yeah, he's Supernatural. Sorry, Castrovince.Since Castrovince is the Big Daddy Of Blogs around these parts, I hope he talks some sense into this situation and finds ANY other nickname for Michael Brantley.

Hey! Speaking of Santana, both he and CHOOOOO got themselves hits tonight. They both also walked twice. Santana was the guy who scored the winning run, and he skipped to home plate, which was pretty redorkulous.Observe.

Now, I'm going to swear for a minute here and say FUCK ME RUNNING, WHY DON'T PEOPLE PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ASDRUBAL CABRERA? Oh he has a funny name? He's kind of funny looking? What? He'll kick your ass with his offensive stats (compared to the rest of the team). To wit:
  • #1 Games
  • #1 At bats
  • #1 Runs
  • #1 Hits 
  • #1 Triples
  • #1 RBI
  • #1 Total Bases
  • #2 Doubles
  • #2 Homers
  • #2 Average
  • #3 Stolen Bases

Plus, he is awesome in the field. And...and, like, dozens of people come to this blog every day wondering what his tattoo says. So let's put him at #1 in the MLB for the most queried tattoo, shall we?

Asdrubal Cabrera's tattoo got 3 hits and an RBI tonight, by the way. So when you vote for Jack, you should totally vote for Asdrubal too because he is better.

Asdrubal would be tied for first with homers, but we've got to give credit where credit is due and props to Grady for getting home run number 6 tonight, surpassing the guy with the most at-bats (Asdrubal). He still doesn't qualify for being a league leader, since he hasn't had 3.1 at-bats-per-team-game but if he did he'd have the #2 or #3 slugging percentage.

So Tomlin was the starter and he gave up a solo home run. That's like, 7 solo home runs for him this year (out of 8 home runs). He had no decision but dammit, he went six innings AGAIN, extending that crazy streak of his of never pitching fewer than 6 innings ever or something.

Then came our stable of stallions, Sipp, Pestano and C. Perez. Each with their own little inning and each with their own little job. I wonder if Perez comes out of the pen wondering what badge he's going to collect today? Tonight he got another W badge.

Oh, every single Indians follower on Twitter would like you to know that the Tribe is 14-2 at home this year, which is the longest home streak since 1995 and the first time in franchise history that we've started the season 14-2 at home. I would like you to know that I am still not impressed by Twitter. You guys should see IRC sometime, it will blow your fucking MINDS.

Hmmm I am surly tonight. I shall retire. Hopefully more 7PM baseball tomorrow, with clear skies instead of rain delays. It's the return of Carlos Carrasco!

Radio Chatter:
"Zobrist would like to argue with home plate umpire Dale Scott. Good luck."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well, he didn't go to Lafayette. We say that in jest because Rosie is a graduate of Lafayette. It took him 8 years to get his undergraduate degree."
- Tom Hamilton

"In baseball, the regular season means something, not like in the NBA or the NHL. Not when you have 16 teams in the playoffs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Usually when that happens you're not going to win. But with the kind of season this team is having, who knows."
- Tom Hamilton, regarding the unusually high number of men left in scoring position by the Indians

"The last thing you want is Choo bunting. He can with it with one swing of the bat."
- Tom Hamilton

"It looks to the hitter that there are ten guys in the infield and nobody in the outfield. But you have to hit it to the outfield, that's the key."
- Tom Hamilton on "double play depth"

"Michael, it was a slider! Take one for the team!"
- Mike Hegan on Brantley moving out of the way of a pitch with the bases loaded

"It's literally a walk-off win!"
- Tom Hamilton

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