Monday, October 3, 2011

The Best of Tom Hamilton 2011, Part 2

Here's all the Radio Chatter from the second half of the season. Once again, if you want to skip through to just the best of the best, look at the bolded entries.

Between the last post and this one, my blog got its 10,000th page view. Thanks all!

Two things I want to tell you before I sign off for the rest of the year:
- one, still keep an eye out for a best-of from Tom Hamilton has the Best Home Run call in all of Baseball
- two, apparently the Dugout Sports Show is going to be doing a 30-minute live podcast with Chris Perez every Monday and Wednesday at 6 PM. That sounds too good to be true but Twitter sez and who would lie on Twitter?

So, be on the lookout for those goodies to keep your baseball juices flowing during the offseason.

Now, on to the Hamilton! See you next season!

[Part 1]

Radio Chatter, July 15-September 28 2011
"It almost looks like one of those fake eyes you would see used in one of those horror movies."
- Tom Hamilton on Lonnie Chisenhall's injured eye

"Teams like the Orioles with a lot of veterans...they can go south in a hurry."
- Tom Hamilton on the sorry state of the Orioles

"Guthrie's been a different guy since that double play ball got him out of a jam in the 3rd."
- Tom Hamilton in the 5th, when the game was still close

"Hey, you're a starter and you go to the pen? That's a promotion on this club!"
- Chad Durbin via Mike Hegan on Masterson's relief pitching last friday

"That right there is why the Orioles don't win. First pitch swinging, you're an RBI guy, and you pop it up? It just can't happen."
- Tom Hamilton is disappointed in Nick Markakis

"There was  time when Joe Tate was saying 'Wham! With the right hand...' for Mark Hendrickson. He played for the Cleveland Cavaliers."
- Tom Hamilton

"I'm telling you folks - you can write it down if you're scoring with us. He is going to strike out for the third time tonight in one or two pitches. He can't touch Pestano's slider."
- Tom Hamilton on Mark Reynolds, two pitches before he struck out in the 8th

"When you left the Orioles ballpark in '97 did you ever think it would be like this today?"
- Jim Rosenhaus on the sorry state of the Orioles

"Indians lead 3-2 but I tell you what, it feels like it should be 8-2."
- Tom Hamilton by the 3rd inning

"...none of which can be aired, or Rosie loses his job."
- Tom Hamilton on Jim Rosenhaus's interview with former Indian Wayne Kirby

"It looks like you on Saturday morning."
- Tom Hamilton suggesting Rosie has eyes as red as Lonnie Chisenhall's injured eye after a long Friday night.

"Tag made by Orlando Cabrera. He was waiting for Reynolds. [...] Absolute perfect throw from Carlos Santana, and Orlando Cabrera sort of had to stay there in the crouch saying 'Any time you want to get here Reynolds, so I can tag you out.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"I think you're right, Rosie. I think you're right. I hate to say that..."
- Tom Hamilton begrudgingly thinks Jim Rosenhaus is right about the weather in Minnesota

"So far tonight we're seeing the Carrasco we saw in June."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"He's not hurting the club, that's for sure."
- Tom Hamilton on Chisenhall's performance at 3rd

"You'd have to be an idiot not to know how good the East is, when the Yankees and Boston are spending money faster than you can make it."
- Tom Hamilton

"I can't stop thinking of the Peter, Paul and Mary song 'Leaving on a Jet Plane' thinking about Simon..."
- Tom Hamilton on the Orioles' pitcher having to go back to the Dominican to face a manslaughter trial

"Joe Mauer is a once-in-a-lifetime find. Just because you're 6'5" and a catcher doesn't mean you're the next Joe Mauer."
- Tom Hamilton

"When the highlight of scoreboard-watching is the Kiss Cam, you know you're out of the race."
- Tom Hamilton

"You have problems if you can't figure out Mitch Atkins."
- Tom Hamilton

"Rosie if Mitch Atkins is around in time for you to do the play-by-play in the 4th inning, I'll be shocked."
- Tom Hamilton (Atkins lasted 3)

"I don't like the way this game is going. The Orioles keep hanging around."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you come to a game here folks, you ought to wear one of those hockey goalie masks if you're going to sit down below. You are so close, it's scary."
- Tom Hamilton on Target Field

"This is so typical in Minnesota. They do this all the time. The same play that Chisenhall got no hit and an error on, they give Nishioka a hit and an error. What a joke. It happens every year here."
- Tom Hamilton

"Where's Betsy Kling to explain all this to us? Besty would probably say 'Listen you two goofballs, it means it's hot.'"
- Tom Hamilton upon learning the heat index in Minneapolis is 107 degrees

"He could have gone to Columbus and been a pain in the you-know-where..."
- Tom Hamilton on David Huff being a good guy

"You can say one thing at 10:30 in the morning, and if you lose game 1 you might have a totally different mindset at 10:30 at night."
- Tom Hamilton on Ron Gardenhire

"On June 1 they were dead and buried. Or so everybody thought."
- Tom Hamilton on the Twins' record this year

"They have had to use their AAA Club liberally this season."
- Jim Rosenhaus on our players going between the minors and majors

"I believe Carmona is on his third uniform of the night. He has sweated through two!"
- Jim Rosenhaus

"The one thing the Indians have over the Twins is the bullpen."
- Tom Hamilton

"The worst bullpen in baseball lives up to its billing."
- Tom Hamilton after the first reliever loaded the bases in the 7th

"Indians gave Marson the silent treatment when he returned to the dugout after his first home run of the year. They sat silent and stone-faced. Then they pummeled him."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Mariners may have a new edict, and that is 'quit trading with the Indians.'"
- Tom Hamilton on the acquisition of Carrera from Seattle

"At some point the Indians have got to make Liriano pay for all these walks!"
- Tom Hamilton in the 6th after 4 walks

"When the fans heard Matt Capps was coming out, they said 'Are you kidding me?'"
- Tom Hamilton on Matt Capps

"We don't have any money raised tonight, and we don't have any highlights either."
- Tom Hamilton in the post-game wrapup

"He is a good closer because he immediately puts a bad night behind him. You would not have known this morning that he had a bad save last night. Now, the bubble gum bucket knows he had a blown save..."
- Tom Hamilton on Chris Perez

"I get the feeling Rosie, before this day is done, this game is going to be won by offense."
- Tom Hamilton in the 4th inning

"Tomorrow you'll look and say 'Cabrera grounded out, what's the big deal?' That's one of the best at-bats Cabrera has had on this roadtrip."
- Tom Hamilton on Orlando's 10-pitch at-bat in the 4th

"You can hear the crowd saying 'No! No! Don't put him in!"
- Tom Hamilton re-using his Matt Capps repitoire

"In baseball if you have a player in an unfamiliar position, the ball will find him, and at critical times."
- Tom Hamilton on Valbuena missing a ball in the 8th

"Sandy Alomar said it best 'This game of baseball is for those who are humbled and those who are about to be humbled.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"Tell you what if you're a hitter you better not dig a hole out there tonight."
- Mike Hegan on Carrasco's control

"They could do a 5-6-3 double play right now and it'd be anything but around the horn."
- Jim Rosenhaus on the Indians' shift for Adam Dunn

"Always nice when the pitcher has concern for his infielders."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Hermann asking if Chisenhall was ok after a hard grounder

"This is what you get from Jackson. He could throw a no-hitter like he did in Tampa a year ago or he could walk 8 guys."
- Tom Hamilton on Chicago's starter

"Most people will tell you Chicago is the most under-performing team in the American League."
- Tom Hamilton

"Mother Nature has kind of taken the steam out of Ozzie Guillen. There hasn't been anything to rant about."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy this Indians ballclub is lucky Justin Masterson is one of the nicest guys you'll meet. Because he's one of the biggest and strongest. And he doesn't get frustrated easily."
- Tom Hamilton after Carrera's 2-run error

"This team is not playing like a team who is trying to win the division."
- Tom Hamilton

"I gotta believe that Manny Acta is going to be livid after this game."
- Tom Hamilton

"Tell you what - if you're a good student at Pepperdine, your concentration is off the charts."
"A few distractions out there?"
"The ocean is can figure out the rest! [...] There are a lot of kids who have gone to Pepperdine. They did very well in the 10 years at that school."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on Dan Haren's alma mater

"If you're going to beat the Angles, you're going to have to beat them 4-1, 2-1, 3-2. In otherwords, Carmona, Tomlin and Huff are going to have to be sharp."
- Tom Hamilton

"Everyone who's interested is interested in all of the people available."
- Tom Hamilton on pretty much everything we know about the trade deadline

"Well it was over the inside corner, but the coin came up tails so it was called a ball."
- Tom Hamilton is not amused by the home plate umpire

"These kids have probably never seen anybody who can throw this slow and still get you out."
- Mike Hegan on the 3 minor-league players facing Dan Haren

"How many time have you been watching an NFL game and wondered if a touchdown was scored, and the referee lifted one pinky to signal a touchdown?"
- Tom Hamilton

"The best thing for the Indians about Jared Weaver tonight is this is about to be pitch 90 for him."
- Tom Hamilton

"Eric Wedge has shaved his mustache to try to turn things around with this losing streak. If they lose tomorrow he might be as bald as a cucumber."
- Tom Hamilton on the Mariners

"Some people are chanting 'USA.' Somebody must have bought a brat[wurst]."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you're Jordan may have short-term memory loss but you may also have short term memory recall."
- Tom Hamilton after Angels reliever Walden seemed to be breaking down in the 9th for the second day in a row

"Basically the Indians have now bought Verizon Wireless, to save on the cell phone bill."
- Tom Hamilton on all of the phone work for trading

"The Indians still don't have a hit, folks. We're in the 6th inning."
- Tom Hamilton

"Welp, why should today be any different? The first two games have gone right down to the ninth inning. Looks like we're going that way again."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's getting harder and harder not to have Lou Marson catching."
- Tom Hamilton

"The media thinks that if Boston wants to trade for you, you should automatically go to Boston."
- Tom Hamilton on Hiroki Kuroda turning down Boston's offer

"Fukudome hasn't seen a fastball that slow since he was 12."
- Tom Hamilton

"You gotta make him throw you a strike. He doesn't want to, but you gotta make him."
- Mike Hegan on Royals pitcher Jeff Francis

"If Brantley, Cabrera and Hafner don't hit this team doesn't score any runs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Right now for the Indians every night Is a pitchers duel."
- Tom Hamilton on our lack of offense

"Treanor is up on his feet buying not sure If he knows he's in Cleveland."
- Tom Hamilton

"Let's hope this booth isn't bugged."
- Tom Hamilton after coming from a break, presumably after gossiping like girls with Hegan about pending trades

"That was a professional at bat."
- Tom Hamilton on Fukudome's sac fly to tie the game

"Ichiro Suzuki treats the base-on-balls like a virus."
- Tom Hamilton on the difference between Suzuki and Fukudome and their OBP

"Santana and Lou Marson have missed a double and a home run by a combined total of about 3 feet."
- Mike Hegan

"Fukudome made that play look easy, and it was anything but."
- Tom Hamilton on Fukudome's play in the 8th

"You couldn't have gone out and designed a better player to play in this park."
- Tom Hamilton on Adrian Gonzalez's batting prowess at Fenway

"You start swearing in Spanish, enough people in this country know Spanish for you to get in trouble. Now, Japanese, I'm not sure about that..."
- Tom Hamilton

"Daniel Bard, tonight, was not Superman."
- Tom Hamilton

"When you get the lead in the 8th inning you just have to find a way to win this game. You can't let this game slip away."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Red Sox do this to you [...] They foul off a lot of 2-strike pitches and get into your bullpen a lot earlier than other teams in the league."
- Tom Hamilton

"Manny Acta might feel that 5 innings - with the kind of jams he's worked out of - is more than enough tonight."
- Tom Hamilton on David Huff

"You're comparing apples and oranges when you compare Japanese baseball to the Major League."
- Tom Hamilton

"Jerry Davis [the umpire] said 'Look, I'm not the idiot who swung at a ball in the dirt, you are.'"
- Tom Hamilton on Youkilis being ejected

"If Crawford strikes out here, he's going to get booed soundly. [...] Of course if he gets a base hit, they'll elect him mayor."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy oh boy - with Gonzalez at the plate, not quite sure where Pedroia was going."
- Tom Hamilton on Pedroia getting picked off

"He forgot his pre-game plan against the knuckeballer was to hit from the left hand side."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Carlos Santana switching from a right-handed batting helmet to left-handed

"You are living a charmed life in this ballpark when you have 2 runners on in almost every inning."
- Tom Hamilton

"It used to be 'Jim Wisenhaus' when he was in Buffalo but now it's 'Rosenhaus' since he's in the big leagues."
- Tom Hamilton mocking the change in the pronounciation of Marco Scutaro's name when he left Cleveland

"Neil Diamond recorded that song when he had his own hair, and it's become a Fenway tradition."
- Tom Hamilton on "Sweet Caroline"

"You come to Fenway Park and you'd better not go into the 9th tied with the Red Sox coming to bat."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy you won't hear a much quieter Fenway park than you do now."
- Tom Hamilton in the 6th inning after we had 6 runs

"A 3-run lead in the first inning in this park means absolutely nothing."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy, Texas...they don't buy the fact that he hit homers in the last 4 games as they are awful shallow in the outfield."
- Tom Hamilton on Jason Kipnis

"That's just dumb baseball. Trying to steal third with 2 outs. I guess you have to live with that part of the package from Carlos Santana."
- Tom Hamilton

"Six to one Indians, and not to be paranoid, but Rosie it's only the 2nd inning."
"It's not paranoid if you've seen it before."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus

"If you go jogging tomorrow at 4 o'clock, I'll buy you an ice cream cone."
- Tom Hamilton wants Rosie to prove he used to be a runner

"Welp, nobody is warming up so this is either a pep talk or a lecture. Doesn't look like a pep talk. It's a one-sided conversation and Manny Acta is not happy."
- Tom Hamilton on Acta's visit to Pestano in the 8th

"Josh Hamilton may have struck out three times tonight but he's still a lethal weapon."
- Tom Hamilton, before Hamilton got a 2-out single in the 9th

"Welp, nothing you can really say here."
- Tom Hamilton after the game is tied up in the 9th

"There are frustrating losses and there are heart-wrenching losses. I think tonight's game qualifies as the latter."
-Tom Hamilton

"If Brantley hits one down the right field line, he could walk to third."
- Tom Hamilton on the shift for Brantley

"Carmona throwing one of his best games of the year, when you consider where it's at and who it's against."
- Tom Hamilton

"This house of horrors continues to haunt the Indians."
- Tom Hamilton

"Kinsler can crawl home."
- Tom Hamilton on the length of Hamilton's sac fly in the 7th

"Wow what an inning!"
- Tom Hamilton in the top of 9th inning

"Every time you say 'That's the biggest win of the Indians' season' about a week later you're looking at one thinking 'uh-oh, THAT might be the biggest win' and that is what we might be looking at here tonight."
- Tom Hamilton

"This would be the understatement of the year, but I'll say it anyway. You can't lose this game tonight after you come back with a 4-run 9th to take the lead against Neftali Feliz. [...] If you don't, you really wonder what is going to happen to this ball club the rest of the way."
- Tom Hamilton in the 9th as Perez struggles

"Indians fans, you can breathe! The Indians have survived 7 to 5."
- Tom Hamilton after the last out

"No lead is ever safe at Fenway, and that's even more true in this ballpark."
- Tom Hamilton

"That had extra bases written all over it."
- Tom Hamilton on Asdrubal's smash to Hamilton in left

"You don't break up a battery that is throwing a shut-out."
- Tom Hamilton on why Marson did not come in to hit instead of LaPorta

"The way this road trip has gone, this game is far from over."
- Tom Hamilton in the bottom of the 8th

"It'll take a triple to score Cabrera."
- Tom Hamilton on the slowness of Miguel Cabrera

"When was the last time that happened? Maybe when he was at Old Dominion."
- Tom Hamilton on the idea of Verlander being due for a bad outing

"Boy you can't understate the importance of finding a way to win that game last night."
- Tom Hamilton

"Wow it's 9:45. At this time last night we were in a rain delay."
- Tom Hamilton

"That'll get Dave Krepop digging through the archives to find out what rookie last had a 5-hit games for the Indians."
- Tom Hamilton after Kipnis' 5th hit

"Jim Thome will become the 8th player in the game to hit 600 home runs. He'll be the 5th to do it legally."
- Tom Hamilton

"For Masterson it's deja vu. Once again working without any run support."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well would it be a Cleveland Indians game without the opportunity for a late-inning rally?"
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy it would be nice to have an uneventful evening."
- Tom Hamilton

"Seems like every time something big happens, Asdrubal is right in the middle isn't he?"
- Mike Hegan

"You put the ball in play Jim and many good things can happen."
- Mike Hegan

"Now if you don't have a good bullpen you have no chance of winning. And the Indians have one of the best in baseball."
- Tom Hamilton

"The guy who was touting the theater district in Chicago said 'Come to Chicago and you'll see bad baseball but there's great theater in the theater district.'"
- Tom Hamilton on the Chicago Tourism channel at the hotel

"Marson doesn't have enough fingers, Rosie. He needs to add one or two."
- Mike Hegan on Jiminez's number of pitches

"The White Sox have won 8 out of 10 games, so the Mouth that Roars has been silent lately. [...] Guillen is at his best when the White Sox are at their worst."
- Tom Hamilton

"I wonder...does anybody review these tapes of the umpires and say 'We've got to get some better umpires...'?"
- Tom Hamilton still does not like umpires

"This is one of those ballgames where a walk is literally as good as a base hit."
- Mike Hegan

"I wish they still had the scoreboards that showed the other scores from around the league all the time. Who cares about this game? Who cares about strikes and outs?"
- Tom Hamilton wants to know who's winning the Tigers/Twins game, dangit!

"Thank goodness for that, the Odor X. [...] Rosie is in the upper level up there and sometimes on warm summer days it gets a little gamey in here."
- Mike Hegan helping with the ad-libbing on the Dr. Scholl's commercials

"Twenty three thousand are stunned right now."
- Tom Hamilton after the Indians take a 4-1 lead in the 7th

"Adam Dunn runs like your grandmother. He's at second."
- Tom Hamilton

"Some guys at third base, look like everything's a fight. But not Hannahan!"
- Tom Hamilton

"This must be the most satisfying start of the season for Fausto Carmona."
- Tom Hamilton

"You get an 0-2 with Konerko and you might roll it up there and he will take a swing at it. He's not very discerning."
- Tom Hamilton

"Prohibition was more popular than Adam Dunn, here in Chicago."
- Tom Hamilton

"Ohman last worked in Tuesday night's game, which really is no big deal because everybody did."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"It's not like they're tearing the cover off the ball, but they've got a 2-run lead."
- Tom Hamilton

"Did you ever think we'd be sitting here today saying 'If Ubaldo Jiminez can throw as well as Masterson, the Indians would be in great shape'?"
- Tom Hamilton

"These days it's not a good idea to go to Chris Perez and say 'Hey how about that Hurricanes football program?'"
- Tom Hamilton

"A lot of guys who were out as long as Choo was would still be in the minor leagues working on their timing."
- Tom Hamilton

"Valbuena getting to that point with the Indians where he'll run out of opportunities pretty soon."
- Tom Hamilton

"You could sit in a chair and catch him. Put the glove down and there it is."
- Mike Hegan on Josh Tomlin's technique

"You want to keep the traffic down, if you're a pitcher, and Josh Tomlin does a great job at that."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"It's an understatement to say that Hafner needs to be a force the last 6 weeks of the year."
- Tom Hamilton

"...They're giving him an extra day's rest. Nobody in the Indians clubhouse complaining."
- Tom Hamilton on Justin Verlander

"The winner of this division will win because of how they pitch at the end of the year."
- Tom Hamilton

"Manny Acta calls for a pitching change, but the horse has left the barn."
- Tom Hamilton

"The key to this series, according to Manny Acta, is facing Cabrera with the bases empty."
- Tom Hamilton as Miguel Cabrera came to bat with Tigers at first and second

"You could tell the Tiger fans from the Kenny Chesney fans. There were boots and spurs and cowboy hats and Tiger uniforms. Kenny Chesney jerseys mingled with Al Kaline jerseys."
- Mike Hegan on the big events in Detroit tonight

"You just get the feeling Mike that this could be a high scoring game."
- Tom Hamilton in the 3rd

"When you play a big series like this's how both teams do after the series that makes a big difference."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you're going to lose, play well."
- Mike Hegan

"You can't win if the middle of the order is not producing."
- Tom Hamilton

"What a joke"
- Tom Hamilton's reaction to the benches being warned but Porcello not being ejected after throwing at Asdrubal

"Jiminez has taken the Indians out of this game in the blink of an eye."
- Tom Hamilton

"The natives here at Comerica park are getting restless."
- Mike Hegan after the Indians scored 5 to make it a 5-7 game

"That's a mile and a half away from home plate."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Victor Martinez's pop fly in 5th

"I wonder if Jim leyland feels this game slipping away?"
- Tom Hamilton

"This is a ballgame you've got to tie in order to win it."
- Mike Hegan

"It hit him in the back and Donald never been happier."
- Tom Hamilton after Jason Donald got hit on an 0-2 count

"Vargas either pitches extremely well or is very easy to hit."
- Tom Hamilton

"That's the beauty of baseball. Carerra is just .118 versus left handed pitchers. Was missing the curveball, made an adjustment and got the game-tying RBI."
- Tom Hamilton

"I can't tell you the plot of 'The Avengers' that they're filming in Cleveland, but there are some bomb scenes based on what we've heard."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"When you have a young team, you have the opportunity to have more guys miss games because of babies."
- Tom Hamilton

"...that's a high-school play."
- Tom Hamilton is disappointed in Zeke's baserunning error

"David Copperfield would have trouble getting out of this jam."
- Tom Hamilton on Perez's 9th inning jam

"Blake Beavan. He's 6'7", 240 pounds. I'll give you one guess as to where he's from."
- Tom Hamilton thinks they make 'em bigger in Texas

"This is one of those days where if you're a player you'd better have thick skin. The fans' barbs can be heard all around the park."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians are very smart, they didn't combine Puppy Palooza and Dollar Dog Night."
- Mike Hegan

"I don't wanna hear 'well, they're young players.' That's a high school play."
- Tom Hamilton is pissed that Zeke can't get a bunt down

"I always wonder how many cocktails mom and dad had when they decided to name their son Casper."
- Tom Hamilton

"He hasn't been as good as last year but nobody is lining up outside Manny Acta's door saying 'please put me in tomorrow.'"
- Tom Hamilton on facing Felix Hernandez tomorrow

"Just when you think this team is failing, they pull a Lazarus!"
- Tom Hamilton

"There are 4 sides to a baseball. Inside, outside, top and bottom. Well, really, it's a circle..."
"You're going to confuse people!"
- Mike Hegan trying to explain how to hit a baseball to Jim Rosenhaus

"This is the worst offense in the American League and they've sent 17 batters to the plate in the last 2 innings."
- Mike Hegan

"Mike this is one of those nights when the Indians look out of synch in various areas."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"Carl Willis out stalling for time and everybody in the park knows that."
- Tom Hamilton

"Yikes, that's a batting practice fastball."
- Tom Hamilton on a 79 MPH fastball

"Have you ever met a bartender who threw at 97 miles per hour?"
"Maybe at 3 AM."
"That was a good one..."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on comeback pitcher Tom Wilhelmsen

"If this continues, he'll have to work on a couple hours of sleep every day."
- Tom Hamilton on Choo's fantastic day, having had very little sleep after the birth of his daughter

"The Mariner PR people with a little extra time on their hands...Mike Carp had a 20 game hitting streak come to an end last night, equalling the longest hitting streak by a 'fishy' type last name. Tim Salmon and Kevin Bass each had 20 game hit streaks."
- Tom Hamilton

"Franklin Guitierez became an Indian when Milton Bradley learned that a cab ride from Kissimmee to Winterhaven would cost $57.60..."
- Tom Hamilton talks about the end of Milton Bradley's time as an Indian

"Kind of a cardinal rule in baseball that if you lose 17 in a row you're not going to stay in the playoff hunt."
- Tom Hamilton

"One bad week this time of the year is like the death penalty."
- Tom Hamilton

"Saying 'rookie' is redunant. Seattle has 12 rookies on this ballclub. Twelve!"
- Tom Hamilton

"It's just amazing how the Indians have become a MASH unit."
- Tom Hamilton on our injuries

"Strike 3 called on a fastball right down Euclid Avenue."
- Tom Hamilton

"I tell you what - Shelley Duncan and Jack Hannahan have really picked this ball club up."
- Mike Hegan

"We have seen what happens in one week's time...the opposite can happen too."
- Tom Hamilton's glimmer of hope

"Rosie why don't you go down to the Indians dugout and see what you can learn. There's nothing else going on. Be a part of the solution here!"
- Tom Hamilton wonders what the kerfuffle was in the 8th inning

"There are  a lot of similarities if you look at the Royals youngsters and the Indians lineup in the 90s."
- Tom Hamilton

"I thought we were getting Jim Thome not Denard Span."
- Mike Hegan on Thome's first ground out

"Those people probably sat down and thought 'we'll never get a foul ball up here.' That's about as far foul as you can hit a ball."
- Mike Hegan

"Man if Kenny Lofton was still playing...and Manny Rameriz hadn't gotten into all that trouble...bring those guys in and we could sell out the rest of the season!"
- Tom Hamilton

"You can't lose Grady Sizemore, Shin-Soo Choo, Jason Kipnis, Travis Hafner...and say 'Why can't this team score runs?'"
- Tom Hamilton

"Justin Verlander was human today, he gave up 4 runs."
- Tom Hamilton

"As always, Fausto working hard out there on the mound and it shows. As always, the perspiration dripping off that cap."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"Boy if the Indians didn't have bad luck they wouldn't have any at all."
- Tom Hamilton's take on the string of injuries

"You can't throw the ball better than Lou Marson."
- Tom Hamilton, amen

"They could hear the cheers in Toledo when Jim Thome cleared the 19 foot wall in left."
- Tom Hamilton

"They're not looking forward to tee times in October. They want to play."
- Tom Hamilton

"...he took the [LSU] Tigers to the College World Series. He worked the final two innings of relief against Texas when LSU won the championship. You do that, this isn't that big a deal."
- Tom Hamilton on KC pitcher Louis Coleman

"If this guy doesn't like veal parmesan then he's a Communist."
- Tom Hamilton on Johnny Giavotella

"I tell you what - Eric Hosmer has learned to cheat. He took that back foot and stepped...I don't think he was on that bag when he caught the ball."
- Mike Hegan

"Coleman hung a breaking ball and Asdrubal was ready."
- Mike Hegan

"The more you watch the Indians play the more you realize how much they miss Grady Sizemore."
- Tom Hamilton on a not-so-good play by Carrera

"There must not be a chiropractor in Minneapolis. Joe Mauer is out again with a stiff neck."
- Tom Hamilton

"Those folks looking at the box score in Topeka tomorrow will never know the difference."
- Mike Hegan on Jerad Head's sloppy first hit

"Alcides Escobar, to practice the long toss, starts at Brown Field the throws over here to first. He really is blessed isn't he?"
- Tom Hamilton on the Royals' shortstop

"They both have something in common, they have ... hand issues at second base. [...] They're offensive second basemen."
- Tom Hamilton on Rickie and Jemile Weeks

"I can imagine as a first baseman with so few errors, it must irk you when they say 'just stick him at first base.'"
- Tom Hamilton to Mike Hegan

"I think Hammy just raised his status. He was the subject of a game just now. But they didn't get it!"
"It was a piece of ham, a person who is ill and a one-ton weight. And a tom cat up top."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Mike Hegan discussing the between-innings "Classic Concentration" game (I got it right away, but the contestant didn't)

"If you're Trevor Cahill you're saying 'great, I probably pitched us out of this game.'"
- Tom Hamilton after Cahill gave up the 2-run HR to Santana

"The Indians finally have a game where they can take a deep breath and relax."
- Tom Hamilton, once the score was 6-1

"The day he gets fired, the media in Chicago will get together and cry their eyes out. He has given them such great copy over the years."
- Tom Hamilton on Ozzie Guillen

"He went to North Dakota State University, where they played 3 games every year in good weather."
- Tom Hamilton on A's pitcher Neil Wagner

"Juan Gonzalez...he always had an entourage. Many of those people are incarcerated now."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you're not going to bunt in that situation, you shouldn't be taking 2 or 3 bunt swings during batting practice."
"If Reggie Jackson can bunt, so can Brandon Allen."
- Mike Hegan and Tom Hamilton don't like Allen not having bunted in the 10th with runners on

"We're going to have to do a bunting clinic tomorrow. Brandon Allen is excused, since he never is allowed to bunt again."
- Tom Hamilton being meta in the 12th inning after Coco Crisp had a messy bunt attempt

"Frank Hermann is doing the job in long relief. Middle relief. Late relief. Whatever you want to call it, he's doing the job."
- Tom Hamilton

"The people are too tired to go after it. They just waved at each other and said 'It's yours.'"
- Tom Hamilton on fan foul ball apathy in the 16th

"My score sheet is just one page. I've now erased every Indians' first name and am keeping score along the side."
- Mike Hegan in the 17th inning

"I'll tell you what, Coco Crisp, the calendar says he's 31 but he runs like he's 21."
- Tom Hamilton

"Gio Gonzalez is the sort of guy you look at and say 'How in the world did he get traded so much?' But they were always big trades."
- Tom Hamilton

"The fan says she's ok...she gets an early start on some firewood for the fireplace this winter."
- Tom Hamilton describing a fan being hit by a bat

"Right now for Carmona, he can't buy a break."
- Tom Hamilton in the 7th after bases are loaded

"Well why should today be any different? The Indians have not done anything easily this year. [...] If the Indians were a little league team they'd be well under .500 this year. But because we play 7-8-9, they are in the hunt."
- Tom Hamilton

"While you would like to have Victor Martinez in the middle of your order, from an importance standpoint, would you rather have him right now or Justin Masterson and Nick Hagadone?"
- Tom Hamilton

"If the Indians were voting today, Gio Gonzalez would be on his way to Cooperstown."
- Tom Hamilton

"Tigers now beating White Sox 5 nothing in the 5th. So that game's over. With Justin Verlander on the hill...thanks for coming, Chicago."
- Tom Hamilton

"How neat would it be to see Jim Thome and Grady Sizemore in the same Indians lineup?"
- Tom Hamilton

"Another ball that should have been in his hip pocket."
- Tom Hamilton on Zeke missing a fly ball in the 6th

"You're down 3 runs with one out, you're not trying for a sacrifice. He was bunting for a hit and he didn't get it."
- Tom Hamilton on the scoring of Escobar's at-bat in the 7th

"Fouls it back our way...and into our booth. And we no longer have an engineer."
- Tom Hamilton

"There's a reason why The Wizard of Oz took place in Kansas. And these skies are part of that scene."
- Tom Hamilton on the weather

"Maybe the Indians can do something out of the Tigers' comeback book..."
- Tom Hamilton after Detroit came back to win after losing 8-1

"If you come to Kansas City and drop 2 out of 3, you're basically putting yourself in an impossible situation."
- Tom Hamilton

"You don't see this much - an intentional walk in the first inning. But it is September 4th and Indians are in must-win mode. Manny Acta is not going to let this kid spoil it for us."
- Tom Hamilton on the intentional walk of Hosmer

"He must feel like a kid on Christmas morning, getting a hit and an RBI in front of all his friends and family."
- Tom Hamilton on Head's first RBI

"It's as if somebody's got a voodoo doll and they keep sticking pins in it."
- Tom Hamilton on the exit of Hannahan

"If you're a hot Indians hitter right now, look out!"
- Jim Rosenhaus on the possible injury to Santana

"Well he does lead the team on visits from the trainer on the field this year."
- Tom Hamilton on the possible injury to Santana

"Football doesn't drive it - greed drives it. Absolute greed."
- Tom Hamilton on midwestern college football rivalries

"It's a very good thing that Bruce Chen has a very good curveball, because he won't be making it on the singing circuit."
- Tom Hamilton on the pitching-change appearance of Chen singing "Dancing Queen"

"Does the winner of the East look forward to facing Justin Verlander twice in a 7-game series?"
- Tom Hamilton

"Amazingly this kiddie-core has kept the Indians in the hunt. They're playing meaningful games in September."
- Tom Hamilton

"I guess everybody growing up in Venezuela is a short stop, huh?"
- Tom Hamilton on Miguel Cabrera's original position

"Ozzie Guillen said it best - 'I don't want to hear any complaining. We're getting paid a lot of money. Go play.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"The only thing good about this scenario? Miguel Cabrera has banged in to 23 double plays. Otherwise...there's nothing good about this scenario."
- Tom Hamilton on Smith loading the bases with Cabrera up in the 8th

"Boy he can hit a fastball a mile."
- Tom Hamilton on Shelley Duncan

"All that work to come back and, oh yeah, it's Verlander you're facing."
- Tom Hamilton welcomes back Trevor Crowe

"This just goes to show why I don't play poker. If I were a betting man, with these two pitching, what do you think the over/under would be? About five?"
- Mike Hegan on the inordinate number of runs in today's game

"That great start kept them in the race for basically 5 months."
- Tom Hamilton ruminating on the beginning of the season

"It's miserable out. Those people sitting way out in right field are going 'why did we come?'"
- Tom Hamilton

"You'd think the batters box was like the pitching mound..."
- Tom Hamilton wonders why they didn't put drying agent in the batter's box

"Welp, this is the kind of baseball you sometimes get in September..."
- Tom Hamilton

"I guess the White Sox are celebrating St. Patrick's Day in September today."
- Tom Hamilton on the White Sox green uniforms

"Jack Hannahan didn't open the door, he kicked it down."
- Tom Hamilton on Hannahan's entrance into the team this year

"this is a night when somebody in the marketing department ran out of ideas. [...] How much green beer was consumed at that meeting?"
- Tom Hamilton again on the green uniforms

"I wouldn't know what goes on at 3 in the morning, except for when I have to get a cab to go get Rosie."
- Tom Hamilton on having fun in Chicago late at night

"You're saying there are some things you miss about Winterhaven?"
"Well I miss the Super Wal-Mart, since Wal-Mart is one of our sponsors. I also miss driving down the street and seeing a denture maker on every corner, and a chiropractor across the street."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Tom Hamilton on the former Indians Spring Training site

"Alex Rios and Adam Dunn are the reasons the White Sox aren't doing better than they are right now."
- Tom Hamilton

"Here's Adam Dunn. He gets booed from the moment he sticks his head out of the dugout."
- Tom Hamilton

"I tell you one thing. If a strikeout was a vrirus the Indians team would be flat on it's back. It's not just one guy, everybody has it."
- Tom Hamilton

"If Adam Dunn strikes out here he might get into his car and never come back."
- Tom Hamilton, before Adam Dunn struck out

"Not very often are you playing major league games and basically guys are on rehab assignments. That usually happens in the minor leagues."
- Tom Hamilton

"I don't know what else they want from him. It's not his fault they're at where they're at."
- Tom Hamilton on Alexi Ramirez's frustrations with Chicago

"Ozzie Gullien doesn't even pat Will Ohman on the back. Just says 'gimme the ball.'"
- Tom Hamilton on the exit of the Chicago pitcher in the 6th

"A lot of the folks have departed. They're going downtown to have something to cheer about, hopefully joining a Bears tailgate party."
- Tom Hamilton in the 9th

"Beltrae turns bad hops into outs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Tony Romo probably doesn't want to go out to eat for a while. He is public enemy number one around here."
- Tom Hamilton

"September is a time to find out if some young kids are ready for the big leagues. Nick Hagadone is not."
- Tom Hamilton

"[The Rangers] absolutely own the Indians over the last 3 years."
- Tom Hamilton

"Duncan probably has some paint on the back of that jersey!"
- Tom Hamilton after Duncan's second wall-crashing catch

"David Huff isn't fooling anyone tonight. But [Duncan] is saving his bacon out there."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well it only got up to the mid-90s today and that's actually newsworthy."
- Tom Hamilton's comments on the weather

"Herb [Score] always said 'come to the ball park, you might see something you have never seen before' but I don't think he meant seeing a 23-pound cat owned by his engineer."
- Tom Hamilton

"If Carmona is complaining about the heat, you know it's hot."
- Tom Hamilton

"I know the ball travels well here and whatnot, Rosie...but Indians pitchers have made too many mistakes."
- Tom Hamilton

"Choo's season is done. [...] The Indians haven't said that, I have. I'm the new head of the medical staff here. You can address me as 'Dr. Hamilton' from now on."
- Tom Hamilton

"Indians not going quietly here tonight."
- Tom Hamilton

"I don't think anybody really knows what's wrong with Joe Mauer."
- Tom Hamilton

"Lots of Svenolis and Elkas here tonight. [...] They're not enjoying this."
- Tom Hamilton impressed with the size of the crowd

- Tom Hamilton on Asdrubal's slump

"A lot of people here are dressed like the movie 'Fargo'. A lot of blankets, a lot of Elmer Fudd hats."
- Tom Hamilton

"When a slider pitcher has it going well, hitters hate that. A bad day at the office for them."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"That one was a possibility for another Cabrera highlight reel but Kipnis couldn't get it done."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"You can always make room for Chewbacca!"
- Tom Hamilton on the upcoming Star Wars night

"When your wife is this close to [giving birth] it's not good to be on an 11-day road trip. And you don't tell her how nice the resort is."
- Tom Hamilton to Jim Rosenhaus

"DROPPED by the ball boy! This sums up the Twins' season, another error. Come on! He's looking at his glove - they always do."
- Tom Hamilton

"Manny Acta loves the fact that Kipnis swings the bat with power, the other way."
- Tom Hamilton

"Good lord, it's ugly out here. Can't believe these folks are sitting through this."
- Tom Hamilton on the cold, rainy day

"This is going to be a 5-out inning, the way the Indians have kicked the ball around."
- Tom Hamilton at the end of the 6th inning

"The play today has matched the weather - sloppy."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy is he unhappy with himself. Kipnis had a pitch that he knew he could hit to Bloomington."
- Tom Hamilton on Kipnis' at-bat in the 7th

"A hearty group of fans has stuck it out. They wanted an open-air stadium, now they have it."
- Tom Hamilton

"Here the Indians are trying to give up an out to advance a runner and the Twins pitcher isn't able to throw a strike."
- Tom Hamilton on Marson trying to bunt in the 8th

"What you hope is that nobody is at today's game seeing a major league game for the first time in their life - and they never come back."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's almost as if Mike Everett has said 'We're going to make this strike zone juuuust a bit bigger.'"
- Tom Hamilton thinks the umpire is tired of this game

"If you're gonna miss, miss off the plate not on the plate."
- Mike Hegan gives sage advice

"The guy's as big as Paul Bunyan."
- Tom Hamilton on Adam Dunn

"You ask the man on the street who Juan Pierre is, they might say he's a French chef. Our owns an ice cream company."
- Mike Hegan remembering the sponsors

"This isn't like the NBA where all you have to do is be a mediocre ball club and get into the playoffs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Joe Smith showed some hops!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Well, since we believe in Santa Claus...couldn't he deliver Michael Cuddyer?"
- Tom Hamilton's Christmas list

"They keep talking about Flowers and what a show he puts on during batting practice, but 5:05 is very different from 7:05."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's audition time!"
- Mike Hegan on rookie pitchers in September

"Ozzie Guillen is a killjoy tonight."
- Jim Rosenhaus on the intentional walk of Thome

"The young kids, for them, they have been in awe since Thome got here."
- Tom Hamilton

"He looks like he's chopped some wood in his past."
- Mike Hegan on Jason Kipnis

"It's a good problem for Manny Acta to have - 4 good players for 3 infield positions."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Jason Donald's new role

"Hey may have hit that as high as he did far!"
- Tom Hamilton on Hafner's homer

"Lou Marson put down 5 fingers, which is something I've never seen a catcher have to do."
- Mike Hegan on Jiminez's immense repertoire

"You haven't had that good a year, Alex. No one's trying to hit you."
- Tom Hamilton tells Alex Rios to stop bending out of the way of strikes

"Hope you're enjoying the ambiance of a screechy in-house PA system. Just wanted to give you the ambiance of the ballpark."
- Tom Hamilton

"Humber is the pure definition of a 6-inning guy."
- Tom Hamilton in the 6th, before we scored our 5-6-7 runs off Humber in the 6th and 7th

"You know what Ron Washington would say to that? 'That's the way baseball go.'"
- Jim Rosenhaus on the possible insanity that is the AL Wildcard

"It's an infield convention."
- Tom Hamilton in the 8th when there was a high pop-up above the pitcher's mound. Asdrubal took care of it.

"If the Mariners ever make another trade with the Indians, it may be after we're dead and gone."
- Tom Hamilton

"There was no drama when the month began for the Major League Baseball playoff races. None!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Any time you've got a shortstop with 25 homers and 90 RBI, look around and see how many shortstops there are that can do that."
- Tom Hamilton

"Sunday's game set baseball back about 20 years. There were 6 errors in that game."
- Tom Hamilton on the Indians/Twins game last Sunday

"When you start mentioning Lou Boudreau and Asdrubal Cabrera in the same sentence you know you've had a good year."
- Tom Hamilton

"The key to success for a good pitcher is to be able to go to the mound when you don't have your best stuff and take care of business."
- Mike Hegan

"And why wouldn't he get an infield single? On tonight of all nights!"
- Jim Rosenhaus on Thome's single in the 5th

"We thought this would be a pitcher's duel but both teams came out swinging the bats."
- Tom Hamilton

"Good LORD, what are the Indians doing there?"
- Tom Hamilton questions Zeke throwing home instead of his cutoff man

"Tosoni went in like a running back trying to run over a linebacker."
"This is fall and I know it's Friday night but the football game is down the road."
"Tosoni did what he was supposed to do and Marson didn't budge."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on our second out at the plate

"For Asdrubal Cabrera, trying to get a hit off Pavano is like trying to swim across the Atlantic ocean and reach land."
"Pavano knows Asdrubal is not going to get a hit and Asdrubal knows he is not going to get a hit."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan

"There are a couple of generations of fans who think the elbow is named after Tommy John. [...] Those of us in broadcasting are relived that Jarrod Saltalamachia  wasn't the first to have that surgery."
- Tom Hamilton

"It was over the outside corner but that's not a strike tonight. Al Porter is not Umping tomorrow so he doesn't care that it's a day nighter."
- Tom Hamilton

"We all know how good the 90s teams were, but they never hit wall-scraping home runs. There was never any doubt about it."
- Tom Hamilton

"Those two schools could play marbles and pack the house."
- Tom Hamilton on OSU and Michigan

"When you break in with Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle, I guess that is a sign you're going to have a heck of a run in baseball.
- Tom Hamilton on Mike Hegan's career

"I think when Kirk Gibson tells you to do something, you do it."
- Mike Hegan

"Right now Liriano's body language would tell you he would like to be anywhere but the mound."
- Tom Hamilton just before we scored 6 off Liriano

"That's the thing about Matt LaPorta. He shows those signs every once in a while where you go 'wow.'"
- Mike Hegan

"Ron Gardenhier heading to the mound to choke Liriano."
- Tom Hamilton

"Carlos Santana is looking for a 96-mile-per-hour fastball that he can send out to the Bob Feller statue."
- Tom Hamilton on Santana's at-bat in the 6-run 6th

"GOT HIM! Or no...I guess not."
"You trying to get out of here?"
"Four-thirty mass at the cathedral."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on Hamilton's missed call in the 8th

"Ron Gaedenhire looks like he has managed 330 games this year."
"With all of those injuries, he may have written 330 lineups"
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus

"Now you see why the twins have lost 97 games this season. That was a high school mistake."
- Tom Hamilton on Revere running to 3rd and getting tagged out on a ball hit to the shortstop

"When is this season over?"
- Jim Rosenhaus has had enough of Tom Hamilton's abuse

"That would be like me getting a bowl of ice cream then ushering the ice cream using the same spoon."
- Tom Hamilton on the prospect of sharing a score card with Jim Rosenhaus

"If you expect me to comment on this ball game so far you got another thing coming."
- Mike Hegan upon returning to the booth from his family suite in the 6th

"Tell these people at this ballpark tonight that this game isn't important."
- Tom Hamilton likes the crowd's electricity

"This is why Ron Gardenhire can't manage a winning team. There is no one in his bullpen that he can trust."
- Tom Hamilton after the Twins' bullpen gave up 5 runs

"Shelley Duncan knows he should have caught that ball."
"Everybody in the ballpark knows."
- Mike Hegan and Tom Hamilton on Duncan's missed ball in the first

"You aren't going to tell me that Jim Thome is going to come in and pinch run for Travis Hafner are you?"
"That would surprise everyone. Jimmy would be surprised too!"
- Mike Hegan and Tom Hamilton on Acta's "surprise"

"Lou Marson's gonna say 'What do I have to do to get a base hit?'"
- Mike Hegan says bloop hits and line drive outs do not even out

"Just another day in the office for Duncan in September. He's 2 for 2 with a home run and 2 RBI."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"Oh for the love of Pete...ball two! Here comes Tim Belcher. I bet Belcher is hoping the home plate umpire comes out there. This is absurd..."
"And the home plate umpire isn't going."
"He knows better."
"He's telling Perez 'as soon as he gets to the dirt area, tell me and I'm going to turn around.'"
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan (and Tim Belcher) are not impressed with the young ump behind the plate

"Oh please don't let it end with me getting hit..."
"If it does, do you want those golf balls?"
- Mike Hegan and Tom Hamilton on a foul ball hit in to the booth

"This is a situation where the heart rules the head."
- Mike Hegan on the display of Thome in the 8th

"That's the one downfall of this Detroit lineup. They can't run worth a lick."
- Tom Hamilton

"With Avila and the 3 guys on base...if they were on a relay team...that race would take 2 days."
- Tom Hamilton

"Last outing for the year for Jiminez is...not a good one."
- Tom Hamilton

"Welp, Corey Kluber, making friends early here in Motown."
- Tom Hamilton after Kluber hit Miguel Cabrera

"This is men against boys."
- Tom Hamilton on Doug Fister

"Right now the Indians feel like the Christians did in the Roman coliseum. They are getting devoured right now by the Tigers."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians have NO...absolutely NO answer for Miguel Cabrera."
- Tom Hamilton

"Right now, Bob Feller in his heyday might have problems with this Tiger lineup the way they're hitting."
- Tom Hamilton

"That is a home run in any other park in all of baseball. American League, National League...that was 420 feet!"
- Mike Hegan on Santana's long fly out in the 4th

"Thirty-one thousand sitting back wishing tomorrow were Friday and the Tigers were at home."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians ought to seriously consider walking him every time. Even if the bases are loaded."
- Tom Hamilton after Miguel Cabrera's homer in the 6th

"If you think the players were hooting and hollering you should have seen the wives. They were hooting and hollering from Saks."
- Tom Hamilton on the Indians watching the White Sox lose this afternoon and the $10,000 2nd-place bonus they all recieved

"If there were 81 home games, I had 81 pieces of carrot cake every year at the ballpark."
- Mike Hegan is enjoying some carrot cake and reminiscing about the old dessert cart

"That's what common sense would say, which is why it hasn't happened."
- Tom Hamilton agrees that the last games of the year should be day games

"Boy...the Tigers are relentless."
- Tom Hamilton in the 7th

"There is life outside New York and Boston. Those folks just don't know it."
- Tom Hamilton on a Detroit/Milwaukee World Series

"I think right now if the Indians played the Tigers a hundred more times they might not beat them again."
- Tom Hamilton

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Best of Tom Hamilton 2011, Part 1

Here's all of the Radio Chatter quotes from the first half of the season. Yes, it's a very long list!

I think it's fun to read them all in succession, but if you'd like to just read the best bits, check out the bold entries.

Don't forget to check out the Facebook page Tom Hamilton has the Best Home Run call in all of Baseball for awesome home-run calls which could never be captured in print.

And yes I know this isn't just the best of Tom Hamilton, but Mike Hegan and Jim Rosenhaus too.


Radio Chatter April 1 - July 11:
"If you didn't know better, based on the weather and the score, the Browns are making a comeback against the Bears!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Bob Uecker says that [Chicago pitcher] Chris Sale is so thin that you can see his wallet from the front."
- Tom Hamilton

"As hot as the White Sox have been so far, that is how good Masterson is pitching today."
- Tom Hamilton

"It wasn't easy but Chris Perez notches save number one here in 2011. And the Red Sox are winless after four."
- Tom Hamilton

"There's no love lost between the Koreans and the Japanese. [...] And for the first time ever, Daisuke Matsuzaka has given up a run at the corner of Carnegie and Ontario."
- Tom Hamilton (talking about the national baseball teams not the nations)

"How good are one dollar hot dogs? Even Buck Showalter doesn't have anything bad to say about Dollar Dog Night."
- Tom Hamilton

"I'm not sure if it's the time change or what but I just looked at the clock and we're one hour ahead of where we were last night."
- Mike Hegan (commenting on the length of last night's game)

"If that restaurant doesn't have windows, someone has a large crouton in their salad."
- Tom Hamilton, regarding Hafner's homer off the face of the restaurant at Safeco Field.

"...thank you Milton."
- Tom Hamilton in response to Milton Bradley's error which allowed an un-earned run

"That's why your shortstop is the cutoff man. He's not out there to WAVE at Milton Bradley, you're supposed to throw to him. Oh well..."
- Tom Hamilton, still milling over Milton's error

"The umpires are all off-season dentists, and they tell him he's fine, put the mask back on."
- Tom Hamilton, NOT in response to Milton Bradley, but in response to a delay of game while one of the umpires asks the other umpires about his tooth

"[Milton Bradley] has plugged his ears with cotton. Good lord."
- Tom Hamilton

"If Bradley strikes out here, he'll need more than cotton in his ears."
- Tom Hamilton

"If I told you the Indians were 16-12 in the month of April, you'd probably say 'Oh, ok.' But if your team goes 4 over .500 every month of the season, suddenly you're 24 games over .500 by the end of the season."
- Tom Hamilton

"Cabrera grabs the ball and throws to...the other Cabrera..."
- Tom Hamilton

"Tim McClellan likes to be Santa Claus and not tell anyone what's in the present. Nobody in the ballpark - players, fans - has any idea what the call is until he waves his finger."
- Tom Hamilton

"Only in Disney Land can a monkey become everybody's favorite pet."
- Tom Hamilton, talking about the Rally Monkey. Yeah, that is a thing.

"Looking at the next batters, it's the Angels' 3, 4 and 5 hitters. So if you're going to finish off the Angels, you're going to earn it!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Never thought I'd come to Anaheim and there would be Fleece Blanket Night"
- Tom Hamilton

"Fausto Carmona - he's pitched gallantly tonight. Dan Heran has simply pitched better."
- Tom Hamilton

"What Kendrick got there is called a Little League home run."
- Tom Hamilton in response to Anaheim's Kendrick scoring on an error after hitting a double.

"Travis Hafner with a deep drive to right center. Can mother nature knock it down? No! Travis Hafner..into the teeth of the wind has his third home run! [...] And Pronk is back!"
- The Poetic Tom Hamilton

"Today's birthday wishes go to Helen Molnar. Ninety-four years young. Her actual birthday is this coming Tuesday, but she plays bingo on weeknights and she won't be home. Hey, nothing like a good game of bingo! [...] Hope it's a good night at the bingo parlor, Helen!
- Tom Hamilton

"Didn't realize it was 'steal a t-shirt' night at Great American Ball Park."
- Tom Hamilton's final words after his half-inning rant about Reds pitcher Mike Leake getting arrested for shoplifting six t-shirts

"With Sizemore at first and Asdrubal Cabrera at the plate, there isn't much you can't do."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's a two run [10th] inning and the fans are flocking to the parking lot."
- Tom Hamilton

"I've never seen that before! It literally bounced off the ground and hit Cabrera. Can this game get any wackier?!"
- Tom Hamilton (the game wasn't particularly wacky...I think he's been on the road too long)

"Grady Sizemore showing why he's a Gold-glover, and why this ballclub is a contender."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you talk to the Royals they are happy as heck that Zach Greinke is gone from Kansas City. He was a bit of a Negative Nellie in the clubhouse..."
- Tom Hamilton

"They got soft here in Minneapolis once they got the Metrodome. They didn't have to fight the blizzards to watch the Vikings at old Metropolitain Stadium. Nobody got softer than our engineer, Wayne."
- Tom Hamilton

"One thing stays consistent - the Indians can't get a left-handed hitter out."
- Tom Hamilton

"'Do you believe in miracles?' as Al Michaels once said. The Indians need one here."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's only a matter of time before Minnesota wakes up, and starts to play winning baseball. You just don't want to be the team that gets them going."
- Tom Hamilton

"Ohio State has 4000 people to see the band play before the game."
- Tom Hamilton, commenting on the sorry state of Minnesota Gophers football

"The tag is on Morneau...AND HE IS OUT BY EIGHT FEET! ... So Choo retires more hitters in the third than Carrasco did."
- Tom Hamilton at the end of the third inning

"It's amazing how many people that write for a living can't come up with an original thought. How can you all be writing about the same thing....nobody was writing it a year ago."
- Tom Hamilton's reaction to all of the recent stories that Joe Mauer should be moved from catching

"Gomez needs to pitch well, because if he doesn't there's a guy named Alex White knocking on the door."
- Tom Hamilton

"Cabrera hits one by Ka'aihue at first, who has the range of a statue."
- Tom Hamilton

"If he gets hot - LOOK OUT!"
- Tom Hamilton re: Shin-Soo Choo

"Justin Masterson has a good chance to be 5-0 in about a half hour."
- Tom Hamilton

"HOW ABOUT THAT?! Bases loaded, nobody out and Pestano takes care of the 4- 5- and 6-batters for the Royals!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Folks, if you don't like Shelley Duncan, take a good look in the mirror. The problem will be staring back at you."
- Tom Hamilton

"Is it that hard to let everyone know what the call is? Is his right arm that heavy?"
- Tom Hamilton

"Now, what in the world...why, in the month of April, should a team from the west coast play a team from Florida in a dome? It's not that hard to make the schedule. It's idiotic."
- Tom Hamilton

"Manny Acta's faith never has waivered on Santana. And never has a manager's faith had such a big return."
- Tom Hamilton

"There isn't a prettier ballpark than this one when it fills up like it did tonight. There's a new energy at the corner of Carnagie and Ontario."
- Tom Hamilton

"Looking at his jersey, he's got letters starting at his waist, going up and ending again at his waist."
- Tom Hamilton, commenting on Al Alburquerque

"He only weighs about a hundred pounds. [...] If his name was Saltalamacchia it would go all the way around his number. He only needs a few more letters."
- Mike Hegan's take on Alburquerque's name

"You're saying 'Why not go to Everett?' and it's because Jack Hannahan, against left handed pitching this year, is hitting .529."
- Tom Hamilton

"Jim Leyland, who normally has a cigarette going, has smoke coming out of his ears."
- Tom Hamilton on Brennan Boesch's first-pitch popup with a man at second in the 13th inning.

"...Unfortunately, April is over."
- Tom Hamilton

"You can buy a baseball team when you record a song like 'Rudoplh the Red Nosed Reindeer'. [...] Just think, every time your kids sing 'Rudolph' Gene Autrey is making money."
- Tom Hamilton regarding Gene Autrey's ownership of the Angels

"Proof again that a Buckeye is always tougher than a Gaucho. What is a Gaucho, Tony? It's sort of a horse? A Spanish horseman. Well, how many Spanish horsemen can play volleyball?"
- Tom Hamilton regarding the OSU men's volleyball winning the national championships over USC Santa Barbara

"Bobby Abreau is going to finish his career at some point...he's 37...and he's going to have one of the greatest careers that nobody's ever talked about."
- Tom Hamilton

"Former Indian Izturas went with Ryan Church to Houston for Scott Stewart. The only thing I can remember about Scott Stewart is that nobody ate more Fudgecicles in the history of the Indians franchise and was less productive than Scott Stewart."
"Scott Stewart was a peacock for the bullpen and he found himself in triple-A awfully quick."
"Were there a lot of Fudgecicles in Buffalo, Rosie?"
"I didn't want to go there, but there was a shortstop gone to Montreal and the Bisons added a relief pitcher who couldn't get anyone out at that level either."
"And it was never his fault."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus fondly remembering Scott Stewart

"Hey, there's a ball the Angels didn't get! That might be the first one in two games that they didn't make a sensational play on."
- Tom Hamilton on Santana's 4th inning double

"Oh my, what a huge hit for Choo. And it might be be the first time on this road trip that he's been able to take a deep breath and relax. And I can't believe how many Indians fans are here!"
"Tom, I think in addition to Indians fans, I think there's Choo fans."
"You're right, Rosie. Especially out west, the Korean delegation."
"When he came to the plate there was a lot of Choo-ing like at home."
- Tom Hamilton on Choo's 2-run double and the resulting wave of "CHOOOOOO!"

"Well if you like numbers, Jared Weaver in his last three starts against the Indians had given up one run, in three starts. So this again tells you how legitimate this ball club is, Rosie. They're doing it against good pitching they're not just doing it against meatballers."
- Tom Hamilton

"We've got the Angels television feed up here, and when the Angels strike out they don't replay it."
"It's like it never happened."
"Well, we are around the corner from Disneyland."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus

"You don't see many clubs play a home game on Sunday at 12:35. [...] I guess nobody goes to church out here. Except our engineer Tony!"
- Tom Hamilton

"How many times have we said 'if the Indians could juuuust have a good start to the season...'? I think 18 and 8 is a great start!"
- Tom Hamilton

"I don't know how people can stick their hands out for a ball like that. You might get a free baseball but you'll spend thousands at the orthopedic surgeon to get your fingers re-attached."
- Tom Hamilton regarding a laser Santana foul ball

"A fan in the suites reached out and made a one-handed grab. Everyone is playing defense today at Progressive Field! The good news is that he didn't spill any of his diet Pepsi. The fans below him appreciate it."
- Tom Hamilton

"Will Rhymes gave it a ride, except it was Will Rhymes and not Miguel Cabrera so it's still 5-3."
- Tom Hamilton

"Right there is an example of an out that is simply a foul ball in any other ball park in the major leagues."
- Tom Hamilton

"The chance of the A's signing Adrian Beltre this summer was the same as Rosie and I sprouting wings and flying back to our hotel."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy, the outfield couldn't play any deeper unless they were sitting on the wall."
- Tom Hamilton

"'Enjoy the journey'...that's the motto Stephanie Hagel has driven in to those of us who work here. 'Don't worry about whether or not we make it on the air or not, just enjoy the journey and I'll take care of the rest."
"Would you make that statement if it wasn't after midnight back home?"
"Oh sure, I'm livin' on the edge."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus

"This would be a great way to start one of the ruggedest...that's not even a word...before we have every English teacher writing us...this would be a great way to start one of the most rugged road trips in baseball this year."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well if it weren't for David DeJesus, Josh Tomlin is having a perfect game. Sounds stupid, but he gave up a solo home run and got the next 8 batters out..."
- Tom Hamilton

"Let's hope that the lack of closer experience backfires on Balfour."
- Tom Hamilton

"I don't mean to laugh Rosie...but he's not 6 feet. If you're listed at 6 feet, you're 5'10". With every pitch, it looks like his arm is going to disconnect from his body, so you can see why he has command problems."
- Tom Hamilton on Tyler Chatwood

"Chatwood looks like he's 12 years old, and 6 feet is being generous."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"Choo proving that even though he's not swinging the bat so well right now, he's still a deadly weapon with that arm."
- Tom Hamilton

"Sometimes, [playing in your hometown] can be a hassle. People forget that you're here to work, this is not a vacation."
- Tom Hamilton regarding Vinnie Pestano pitching in his hometown of Anaheim

"Boy the Indians have hit some screamers tonight, but right at people."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's playing like the Grand Canyon out here tonight."
- Tom Hamilton regarding the hard-hit fly balls that go nowhere

"Choo with a throw on the fly to home. Aybar would have been out by a mile."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians are third in the league in pitching, which sort of gets lots. As tough as the pitching has been for the Indians to face, the same is true for the Angels and Oakland. Runs have been at a premium for both the Indians and their opposition."
- Tom Hamilton

"Marson says he got his hand in there. [Umpire] Doug Eddings says 'I didn't see it that way.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"[Stephanie Hagel] is pushing the Mother's Day envelope, she wants us to do a legal ID. We say all these nice things about Stephanie and she drops the FCC in our lap."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's amazing...when you're having a good year and you've got a winning record...whether or not it's a perception or reality, it sure seems like you get more calls in your favor than when you're having a bad year."
- Tom Hamilton ruminating on a questionable call in the 6th

"I shouldn't shortchange Milton Bradley. He'll be back next weekend too. Now, how long he stays in the game remains to be seen. He's been booted out of at least two games here recently for arguing balls and strikes. We'll also see if he's still wearing earplugs. He's been wearing earplugs at every home game in Seattle. At a HOME ballgame! That ought to be a promotion for the Indians. Have a contest, see who can have the best histrionics to an actor who's an umpire, and get thrown out, and win the best seats in the house."
- Tom Hamilton on the upcoming Mariners series and the return of his favorite player

"Boy does this tell you everything you need to know about this ball club. They just refuse to believe they're ever beaten. And if you talk to Manny Acta, the coaches, any of the players, they'll tell you the same thing. This ballclub always feels like it's going to find a way to win. And talk is cheap - the bottom line is they've gone out and done it this year. That's why they believe it's so that they're going to find ways to win."
- Tom Hamilton after Grady and Asdrubal's back-to-back doubles in the 9th

"Zobrist would like to argue with home plate umpire Dale Scott. Good luck."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well, he didn't go to Lafayette. We say that in jest because Rosie is a graduate of Lafayette. It took him 8 years to get his undergraduate degree."
- Tom Hamilton

"In baseball, the regular season means something, not like in the NBA or the NHL. Not when you have 16 teams in the playoffs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Usually when that happens you're not going to win. But with the kind of season this team is having, who knows."
- Tom Hamilton, regarding the unusually high number of men left in scoring position by the Indians

"The last thing you want is Choo bunting. He can with it with one swing of the bat."
- Tom Hamilton

"It looks to the hitter that there are ten guys in the infield and nobody in the outfield. But you have to hit it to the outfield, that's the key."
- Tom Hamilton on "double play depth"

"Michael, it was a slider! Take one for the team!"
- Mike Hegan on Brantley moving out of the way of a pitch with the bases loaded

"It's literally a walk-off win!"
- Tom Hamilton

"I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, Fred Griffith, but you got the wrong time to get the Bedford Nissan Grand Slam Payoff. Not with David Price on the mound."
- Tom Hamilton

"Being 5 runs down against David Price, it might as well be 15 runs."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you get hit in the back with one of Price's pitches, you might not take another breath until midnight."
- Tom Hamilton

"It had to come to an end, and if it had to come to an end you'd think it would be against a guy like David Price."
- Tom Hamilton

"Doug Jones used to do that, former Indians pitcher. Slow, slower and slowest."
- Mike Hegan

" downtown You Gotta Be Sh*ttin' Me..."
- Tom Bodet in a new Motel 6 commercial

"OUT AT SECOND IS CABRERA! How in the world can you get picked off at second down 5 to 3?!"
- Tom Hamilton shares his disappointment with Orlando Cabrera

"...then again, Palmeiro didn't do anything he just took somebody else's vitamin shot. There's a story to that but we all have families to feed."
- Tom Hamilton regarding Rafael Palmeiro's alleged steroids use

"Albert Pujols has made more news for hugging Joe Strauss than for swinging his bat."
- Tom Hamilton regarding recent Albert Pujols news

"As-lando Cabrera has his second double of the day..."
- Tom Hamilton's quick save

"He sure got comfortable in a hurry!"
- Tom Hamilton's comment on Choo's first-inning homer, after commenting that Choo does not look comfortable at the plate

"Jack Hannahan could not get a hit the rest of the year and he'd still be worth it."
- Tom Hamilton on Hannahan's performance at third base

"Suzuki is surprised that anyone would ever call a strike on him. He's four feet out of the batter's box, I don't know how he would know."
- Tom Hamilton

"Shall he ever come to the will-call window, Tony Sipp will not be leaving tickets."
- Tom Hamilton on Sipp's college coach who told him he'd never make it in the big leagues

"This is the kind of game that makes you think there's something special going on in 2011."
- Tom Hamilton

"That may have been the longest trip to the mound ever."
- Jim Rosenhaus after Tom Hamilton took advantage of some down time to explain how Rosie's induction into the Buffalo Bisons Hall of Fame is starting to affect their jobs

"Not only have the horses left the barn, the barn has burned to the ground."
- Tom Hamilton on the 10-run inning

"You know you've had quite a night offensively when your number eight man in the batting order has been to the plate 6 times. It's like a softball game."
- Tom Hamilton

"[Asdrubal] Cabrera is starting to make either jump throws or throws-off-balance better than any player in the league."
- Tom Hamilton

"Treanor dancing off the bag there. Why, I don't know. It's sometimes more distracting for the hitter than anything."
- Tom Hamilton

"And Matt Treanor gets picked off at second for the final out of the seventh with his club down five! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
- Tom Hamilton, moments later

"He'd be a bad poker player wouldn't he? He's out there wearing his emotions on his sleeve when he doesn't have that good command."
"Yeah he's an adrenaline guy. If he were a poker player right now Rosie he might throw the deck of cards back at the dealer."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Tom Hamilton on Chris Perez's not-so-awesome 9th

"Carmona was too amped up for his Opening Day assignment. Tried to throw the ball 200 miles per hour."
- Tom Hamilton

"Paul Konerko continues to terrorize Carmona."
- Tom Hamilton

"Travis is going to be out...they say 3 to 4 weeks. But when you say 3 to 4 weeks with an oblique, count on 6 weeks."
- Tom Hamilton

"The only thing missing from this postcard is Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis."
- Tom Hamilton regarding a "very Amish" postcard the guys got from a person in "Youngstown, Amish country."

"The good news is, by playing so well in the first part of the season, you've built up a bit of a cushion."
- Tom Hamilton

"Once again this team finding a way after being no-hitted for five-and-a-third."
- Tom Hamilton

"What a time for Orlando Cabrera to get his first hit as a US citizen."
- Tom Hamilton

"Think of Goose Gossage. He might have thrown a player over the outfield wall."
- Tom Hamilton on the emotions of relief pitchers

"Oh, Fred Lewis put on a clinic on how not to run the bases!"
- Tom Hamilton on Fred Lewis sort of running himself out to end the game

"Both of these teams tried to throw the game away."
- Mike Hegan

"Josh Tomlin, folks - you spell his name 'winner.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"It looked like a drill that went bad."
- Mike Hegan on the weird double steal/errors in the bottom of the 1st.

"The last time I saw a play like that was at Bleser Park in Avon Lake when [my son] Nick was 8. Little league."
- Tom Hamilton on the weird double steal/errors in the bottom of the 1st.

"Volquez looks like he's wearing a hat that is two sizes too small for his head. Like those kids wore in the Little Rascals. He has to keep tugging and pulling to keep it on. [...] Who the heck is the equipment manager for the Reds? Give the guy a bigger hat!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Michael Brantley has had two hits today that haven't gone 60 feet."
- Tom Hamilton

"Volquez says 'let's go through the signs again' and [Reds catcher] Hernandez says 'you only have 3 pitches.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians lead it 6-1 and [Reds manager] Dusty Baker is going to the mound to choke Volquez."
- Tom Hamilton

"Another broken belt. I'll have to ask [equipment manager] Tony Amato what the budget for belts is. Asdrubal has exceeded it."
- Tom Hamilton on Asdrubal's second busted belt this weekend

"Oh by the way, on our daily update of oblique injuries, on which we have someone to add every day..."
- Tom Hamilton on the latest injury for the Twins

"When you're getting over 2 baserunners an inning, you're going to score some runs."
- Tom Hamilton's great insight

"First base is open and that didn't look accidental."
- Tom Hamilton on Asdrubal nearly getting hit by a pitch in the 8th

"Brandon has not tortured the Indians this weekend like he normally does."
- Tom Hamilton

"What's really amazing about the Indians on the home portion of this schedule...they've lost four games, they've only lost to two teams [Chicago and Tampa]."
- Tom Hamilton

"Good attempt by Edgar Renteria who five years ago would have made that play."
- Tom Hamilton

"Brandon Phillips...[laughing] he went to tag Orlando Cabrera who had stopped [running to second] and instead they high-fived each other and that completed the tag!"
- Tom Hamilton

"You knew this club was better, but nobody - nobody - foresaw a 29 and 15 record. As Herb used to say, that's why you play the game. Everybody and their brother can make a prediction and 99.9% of the people who make predictions don't have anything at stake so it's easy to predict."
- Tom Hamilton

"Hernandez just kind of lumbering into third [...] Is Ramon Hernandez hurt?"
"I just think Ramon doesn't run too good. He wasn't going to score, Tom. He wasn't going to try down 8 runs."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan in the 9th

"He is having an MVP-type season."
- Tom Hamilton after Asdrubal's 6th hit in a row

"It's amazing how much velocity Asdrubal Cabrera gets on a throw with both feet off the ground."
- Tom Hamilton

"Clay Buchholz tonight acts like he gets paid by the hour."
- Tom Hamilton on the Red Sox pitcher's slowness

"How about that? If Jack stays on the bag, it's a tie ballgame."
- Mike Hegan after Hannahan caught stealing and Kearns' double in the 5th

"One of the Boston folks was saying tonight that the Red Sox would give anything to get Justin Masterson back."
- Tom Hamilton

"We've not seen Manny Acta this upset in all his time with the Indians."
- Tom Hamilton after Acta got thrown out in the 8th

"What a job by Masterson. He gets a standing ovation and he should."
- Tom Hamilton on Masterson's exit

"That wind, howling out towards right field. That makes everyone a home-run-hitter if you hit it out to right field."
- Tom Hamilton

"Welp, no such thing as a routine 9th inning."
- Tom Hamilton

"What does Cabrera not lead this club in?"
- Tom Hamilton

"I can't remember Boston starting pitchers being so slow. [...] If we had Josh Tomlin working in one of these games it'd be polar opposite of either Beckett or Buchholz."
- Tom Hamilton

"I didn't mean to say 'short and squat' did I? [...] Compact. I wish I would have thought of that first."
- Mike Hegan on Carrera's stature

"Carmonas pitches are going straight down. That's how you know his stuff is working. It's when they go sideways that things go bad."
- Tom Hamilton

"The way Beckett's pitched tonight, 4 to 1 is huge. But the way the Indians never know."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's one thing to struggle. It's another to become...Pittsburgh."
- Tom Hamilton on the Twins' record this year

"Some nights we leave the booth here and say to each other 'how did they do that?' [...] We said that a lot in 2007 too."
- Tom Hamilton

"Now how in the world, with a shift on, did he get that between two guys that are part of a three-man left side of the infield?"
- Tom Hamilton on

"David Ortiz's first infield hit since 1998."
"For sure. When David Ortiz gets an infield hit you know things are going bad."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan

"Well this is a day when we need [WKYC meteorologist] Betsy Kling to whip up a storm and it needs to get here in 5 minutes and continue all day."
- Tom Hamilton after the 7-run Red Sox first inning

"You sometimes have to lose the battle to win the war."
- Tom Hamilton on making Mitch Talbot give at least 5 innings

"Albert Belle probably lost that award because he and the writers didn't have many group hugs."
- Tom Hamilton on Mo Vaughn winning the MVP over Belle in 1995

"I don't think David Rackley will want to see a replay of his game behind the plate today, for either side."
- Tom Hamilton expresses his disappointment in the home plate umpire

"Don't write any obituaries for David Ortiz just yet. He's still got some pop in that bat and some speed in that bat head."
- Mike Hegan after Ortiz's home run in the 6th

"I don't think I've seen anyone hit the ball as far foul as Shelley Duncan does. I mean, he hit that ball 100 feet foul."
- Mike Hegan

"A new ballpark isn't always the panacea. A new location - like a new city - is sometimes the answer."
- Tom Hamilton regarding the Marlins' new ballpark

"Tried to hit that ball to Sarasota."
- Tom Hamilton on an Evan Longoria swinging strike

"The Indians have 6 games this season on fake grass, turf. And they're all on this road trip. The day Grady Sizemore gets back, they have all those games on turf."
- Tom Hamilton on Grady Sizemore batting DH instead of being in the outfield

"The way David Price has dominated the Indians over the years, a 4-run lead is mammoth."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians middle of the order just doesn't look the same without Travis Hafner."
- Tom Hamilton

"In Manny Acta's mind that's the magic number. You don't want a losing streak to go beyond 3."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well the Tribe has not had a 9th inning rally of 5 runs or more but...why not? It's been that kind of a season."
- Tom Hamilton in the beginning of the 9th

"Boy, this team has really excited the bay area. Friday night 16,800 show up. Yikes!"
- Tom Hamilton, slammin' the lack of Rays fans

"I don't think Matt LaPorta has to guess what's coming next from a guy who is pitching 96 miles per hour in a 5-0 game."
- Tom Hamilton

"With Joe Maddon, you could see anything. He's sometimes a mad scientist."
- Tom Hamilton

"We've lost Rosie. We'll get to him in the next inning. He's still convulsing over the cat."
"That's DJ Master Cat I think."
"You like that cat don't you? He'll probably be in our hotel lobby later. [...] The kitty has gone away now and this place has gone deafly silent."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus on the Ray's 7th inning entertainment

"The biggest play of this inning is the double play Ben Zobrist didn't turn."
- Tom Hamilton

"Avril Lavigne. Come a man with two daughters you should know who this is."
"I'm just asking the question. Can't I invoke my fifth amendment rights? [...] As a father of daughters you might be better off not knowing."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Tom Hamilton on Tampa's post-game entertainment

"Oh wife was listening. 'Ha ha ha, Rosie got you.' Our engineer Ralph can vouch...nothing wrong with daughters, I love the daughters! When boys have a problem with friends they punch them in the nose and that's it. With daughters, it's a whole soap opera. Ralph's daughters are glaring at me now. I'm done... [...] And for all the girls out there listening, we love our daughters just as we love our sons. And that's the end of the story."
- Tom Hamilton

" not Memorial Day in Canada."
- Tom Hamilton on the upcoming Blue Jays series

"At this level, if they know you're throwing mid-90s and the only pitch you can throw is a fastball, you're not lasting long."
- Tom Hamilton commenting on Frank Hermann's previous troubles

"He is a big human being. Six-eight,  295. And like so many people his size, he's got a gret nature about him. At that size if you wanted to be an angry man, look out."
- Tom Hamilton on Rays reliever Adam Russell

"For Masterson and Carmona they both have something in common so far. They both have had a team that really owned them."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians are not playing very good baseball right now. They're not hitting, they're not having quality pitching, and now their defense is opening up holes."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well I hope your barbecue is better then this ballgame. If not, it means somebody forgot to turn the meat."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy this is why you think of baseball and you just shake your head sometimes. There are things like this that you just can't predict."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you haven't won a game in 3 years and have a 10-run lead, you deserve to finish it and be on the field to shake hands at the end."
- Tom Hamilton with regards to Jo-Jo Reyes

"It is no time to panic, Rosie. Every team that gets to the playoffs - with the exception of the 1995 Indians - has a rough spot."
- Tom Hamilton

"Whether you need to change the rules or not...smarter people than me will make that decision."
- Tom Hamilton regarding the current crashing-into-catchers situation

"...We haven't had anything to laugh about on this road trip."
"It's been a tough trip."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus, cracking up

"Corey Patterson was sort of looking down at the turf saying 'I can't believe I just did that.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"I'm sure everyone in Toronto looked to see who the umpire was before they bought tickets for tonight's game. They saw it was Tim McClelland and that's why we have the biggest crowd for a Blue Jays game this year. They wanted to see McClelland NOT call balls and strikes."
- Tom Hamilton on one of his many McClelland rants

"I wonder if there's something going on between Santana and Talbot. You don't see Belcher run out like that. I mean, he ran."
- Tom Hamilton with regards to an interesting meeting at the mound

"I bet this pleases the Rangers...CJ Wilson's hobbies include travelling - ok - surfing, and auto racing."
- Tom Hamilton

"I'll say one thing about home plate umpire Tim Timmons. He's been consistent in one area - he's got hitters upset on both ball clubs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Tim Timmons better not need a ride to the airport. Not one of the players would give him one!"
- Tom Hamilton, several innings later

"Boy it's a weekend when the Indians have hit a ball hard, it is right at someone."
- Tom Hamilton

"Nelson Cruz...has had two home runs in this series. What he thinks every time he comes to the plate is 'Let's see how far I can hit this puppy.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"Good news, guys! Julie is 24 and still single! But you'd better not dawdle, as pretty as Julie is..."
- Tom Hamilton during the birthday greetings

"If Travis Hafner can hit for the cycle, aaaaanyone can."
- Tom Hamilton on Brantley's performance

"Rosie has reminded me to do a station identification for the first time in about a month. Stephanie Hagel has been barking at us about it for weeks."
- Tom Hamilton

"I tell you what Tom if you saw the way he started you wouldn't think he'd be here in the 8th inning."
- Mike Hegan on Scott Baker's performance

"They've set the table but nobody's clearing it!"
- Mike Hegan on Brantley and Asdrubal's performance

"For the Minnesota Twins, the 8th and 9th innings have become the Bermuda Triangle. It's where victories get lost."
- Tom Hamilton

"That's his second bat of the day. Good thing he's going home - might not have much lumber left for a longer road trip."
- Mike Hegan on Cuddyer's broken bat

"You said it, Tom. They needed a spark from somebody, somewhere, and that just did it."
- Mike Hegan on Hannahan's game-tying homer

"If you're wondering, the Indians have 4 walk-off wins."
- Tom Hamilton

"The way Carmona is pitching right now he is helping all of the Yankees out of their slumps."
- Tom Hamilton

"Carmona just served one up and said 'see how hard you can hit it.'"
- Tom Hamilton on Granderson's homer

"I don't blame Teixiera for being angry. That is bush league to throw that high after a home run."
- Tom Hamilton on Carmona hitting Mark Teixiera after giving up a home run

"That may be the most useless news story ever."
- Tom Hamilton on a story Rosenhaus read about the official scorer wanting to make sure he scored Jeter's 3000th hit correctly

"I don't even know if I can read some of these other headlines in this paper."
"Well you can, but I'll have another partner tomorrow afternoon."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenaus on The Daily Post

"Rosie's wife Carol is pregnant with their second child, which is great news. [...] I thought it was pregnant women who liked ice cream and pickles, but Rosie is going through ice cream here nobody's business. [...] You went through that ice cream like Sherman went through Georgia."
- Tom Hamilton

"If people could see what you destroyed before we went on the air tonight..."
- Jim Rosenhaus to Tom Hamilton in defense of his ice cream

"Those customs people at the air port are like 'Look, I don't want this job, I don't want to be here, so you are going to be miserable too.' You say 'hi' and they look at you like 'what did you mean by that?'"
- Tom Hamilton on going through customs

"We just heard that the grounds crew has been spotted on Long Island. I guess they are heading to the Hamptons for the weekend."
- Tom Hamilton on the rainy 7th inning

"There's a guy in the stands here who looks exactly like President Obama. Since they put him up on the big board, that guy hasn't bought his own beer all night."
- Tom Hamilton

"That just shows how your bullpen is in disarray, when you have to go to Mariano Rivera when down by 6 in the 9th."
- Tom Hamilton

"Former Indian Bartolo Colon has had a rejuvenation. The question is how did it come about...That's a topic for another time."
- Tom Hamilton on Colon's miraculous shoulder surgery that turned him from a guy in his early 30s pitching in the 80s to a guy in his late 30s pitching in the 90s.

"Carmona maintains he didn't try to hit him. New York maintains 'baloney!'"
- Tom Hamilton on Carmona hitting Mark Teixeira.

"Robinson Cano better drive the speed limit on the way home."
- Tom Hamilton after Cano hit a policeman with a foul ball

"Somehow some way he is going to make his way through it. He has made a miraculous recovery."
- Tom Hamilton after A-Rod came back in the game after being hit by Talbot. Rodriguez made a spectacular display of anguish "as if he was shot by a sniper." It was very Varej√£o.

"You only give up 3 runs against the Yankees, it feels like you should win."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you're in the upper deck you are a long way from the action."
"And if you're in the lower seats you're either a multi-millionaire or you snuck in."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Tom Hamilton

"C.B. Bucknor is one of the nicest men, but the worst umpire."
- Tom Hamilton

"Jack Nicholson made that movie before he got courtside seats to the LA Lakers. But that movie helped him get those seats."
- Tom Hamilton explaining One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest for the youngsters. The movie came up because apparently Yankee pitcher Freddie Garcia looks like the character Chief and carries that nickname.

"You can eat all the sushi you want but you still have to age. A lot of players are eating sushi like it's the fountain of youth. [...] I'm not saying sushi is bad, just give me some Lake Erie perch, fried up."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians have pretty much let everybody back in to the [penant] race."
- Tom Hamilton

"[Umpire] Mike Muchlinski tells him 'look that's not going to be ball 3 after you just took a bunt like that.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"Well they just made an announcement here at Yankee Stadium that should clear some of the park. Eduardo Nunez is coming in to bat and play short for Derek Jeter."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy, Jack Hannahan has played Gold Glove third base all season long."
- Tom Hamilton

"This might be one of those games where if you're going to win you've got to win one to nothing."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians looking to get out of New York with a 1-run win or better, and hoping that the Tigers and Tampa Bay play 23 innings."
- Tom Hamilton

"So the Indians defensively are letting down Justin Masterson."
- Tom Hamilton

"A fan somehow reached up and snagged that foul ball. That's the kind of defense the Indians are looking for."
- Tom Hamilton

"Right now the way he [Verlander] looks, I'd be shocked if the Indians got a hit. Nothing against the Indians offense but this kid would be no-hitting anybody tonight."
- Tom Hamilton

"I wonder how many people in the Motor City are trying to get down here to get a ticket tonight. History is in the making."
- Tom Hamilton

"Catcher Alex Avila goes to the mound and says to Penny 'Look you've got three pitches, which one are you going to throw?'"
- Jim Rosenhaus

"You get the feeling the Indians are going to get to Brad Penny tonight."
- Tom Hamilton

"He realized it wasn't the beard, it was him."
"Shaved it off and hit a home run!"
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on Brennan Boesch's ex-beard

"If Fausto Carmona can throw strikes, Ordonez cannot hit them."
- Tom Hamilton

"I'll tell you what, he takes after mama's side of the family. Because his dad was a big strapping lineman."
- Tom Hamilton on Tiger relief pitcher Daniel Schlerech

"He'd have to be Carlton Fisk to get that one. Or maybe Dirk Nowitzki."
- Mike Hegan on a high wild pitch

"This guy you just hold your breath every time he comes to the plate."
- Tom Hamilton on Miguel Cabrera (no relation)

"He coulda used a relay man there. Hand him a baton...somebody else to go the other 35 feet."
- Mike Hegan on Miguel Cabrera's slowness out of the box

"I said to Tony [Sipp] the other day, how did Clemson do in the post season? 'Don't know, don't care.'"
- Tom Hamilton on Tony Sipp's Clemson coach telling him he'll never make it in the pros

"Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. And Charlie's got the blues."
"[...] By the way, I didn't ignore that. I had something deep to say and now I've lost it..."
- Tom Hamilton cracking up Mike Hegan

"The Indians get a little-league home run and lead one to nothing."
- Tom Hamilton

"One - where was Boesch going? And second - that's a dangerous play! [...] It's a routine first inning, folks..."
- Tom Hamilton on Asdrubal's double play to end the first inning

"Wow...Brennan Boesch runs like he's 50!"
- Tom Hamilton on Boesch missing a ball in the outfield in the 3rd

"Some of the umpires that paid to get in today are not happy with that call. They always put them in the good seats behind the plate, too."
 - Jim Rosenhaus

"One thing to say about Jose Valverde...he is not on any kind of a fruit diet."
- Tom Hamilton on the Tigers' 6'4" 255# closer

"Valverde's body language would give you the idea that the last place in the world he wants to be is Comerica Park."
- Tom Hamilton

"Right now he's the Dominican's version of Burl Ives. Throws a little harder tho."
- Tom Hamilton on Valverde's goatee

"The Indians as a team hitting .500 with the bases loaded."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"I called it the Yake. Yacobs field, that's how I remember it."
- Carlos Baerga

"He has my name so that is why he had to hit a home run today."
- Carlos Baerga on Carlos Santana's home run

"Michael Brantley...stay with it! He's hitting it as hard as he can but has nothing to show for it so far."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"I used to have to write in 'Mike Hegan' 300 times each season."
"I got 301 votes. Three-hundred from you and one from my wife."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Mike Hegan on All-Star voting

"Wood putting the drama back in to the intentional walk."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Tim Wood's sort of wild intentional balls

"All the ingredients that made this team so successful earlier in the season were on display tonight."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"The final count was over 60,000 dogs last night. [...] Sales of antacid in the Cleveland area were high today."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Friday's Dollar Dog Night

"Hammy is our big toe."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Tom Hamilton's absence

"Nobody can hit that breaking ball, Mike."
"Not just this ball club, nobody period."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Mike Hegan on Carrasco's breaking ball

"How many hitters would have watched it and not gotten to 3rd base?"
- Jim Rosenhaus on Grady's home-run-turned-triple

"The most confused guy in the ballpark right now is Juan Nicasio."
- Mike Hegan on Santana's homer in the 4th

"He was cruising along and ran into a little bit of trouble, then BANG the roof caved in on him."
- Mike Hegan on Fausto's departure

"Florida has a new manager, who's an old manager. [...] Jack McKeon, the first year he managed in the big leagues, President Nixon was going through the Watergate scandal."
- Tom Hamilton on the hiring of interim manager Jack McKeon in Florida

"Manny Acta just loves the way Michael Brantley goes about his business."
- Tom Hamilton

"I have no idea what was wrong with it...wait, I do know. There was nothing wrong with it. [...] So if it's down the middle of the plate, it's a ball to Todd Helton."
- Tom Hamilton hating on umpire Gerry Davis

"Pronkville is begging for a souvenir."
- Tom Hamilton

"People listen to these games and they actually believe you guys! I pay for that in the offseason!"
- Jim Rosenhaus taking Mike Hegan to task for suggesting that he was wearing pink high heels

"Chacin is walking around the mound thinking to himself 'Why can't I throw strikes over the corners of the plate?'"
- Tom Hamilton on Chacin's multiple walks

"Those 'All You Can Eat Seats' ... great time to go to the ballpark and then get a physical the next day."
- Tom Hamilton

"The way the wind is blowing now, it'll be easier to rally from behind."
- Tom Hamilton puts a positive spin on the impending storm

"They put a 'no doubles' defense on at Coors Field and doubles will be dropping in everywhere."
- Tom Hamilton

"I asked Orlando Cabrera how he liked playing third base, and he just shook his head."
- Tom Hamilton

"He either caught a spike or he simply had a brain cramp."
- Tom Hamilton on Hammel's balk

"He twisted so hard he almost spun into the ground!"
- Mike Hegan on Hafner's home run swing

"A year ago, the Indians were 13.5 games out of first. And 20 games below .500. What a turnaround!"
- Tom Hamilton

"And the Tribe bullpen is still shutting them down. What else is new?"
- Tom Hamilton after the top of the 8th

"Boy, Choo hit a 2-iron that just didn't get high enough!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Carrasco was outmatched from the moment he stepped in to the batter's box."
- Tom Hamilton on Carrasco's first at-bat

"Folks if you need to go do something, you can go do it now because [Carrasco] isn't going to help himself."
"He swung at one that was over his head last time I think."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus on Carrasco's second at-bat

"Yeah but when you're Kung-Fu Panda, you don't just throw to first to end a game you have to put a little style in it."
- Tom Hamilton admiring Pablo Sandoval's nickname

"If you're looking for Jimmy Hoffa you might want to look in Brian Wilson's beard. [...] How much shoe polish does it take to dye that thing jet black?"
"Who would have thought the Abe Lincoln look would be in vogue?"
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus on Giants pitcher Brian Wilson's beard

"He charged the slow chopper and did everything but kick it into the seats."
- Tom Hamilton on Santana's second error in the 6th inning

"You play the world champions in their park, you can't beat yourself. And that's what the Indians are doing here."
- Tom Hamilton

"No matter what happens this inning, it just has not been a very good weekend. [...] They're just not doing the little things and the little things are what got them to 30 and 15."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's supposed to be a high of 111 degrees [in Arizona]. But, the natives will tell you 'It's a dry heat.' Satan will tell you Hell is a dry heat!"
"An oven is dry heat but you don't put your head in there!"
"Good thing we're indoors, which the entire state of Arizona is indoors."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus on the weather in Arizona

"If one of those sail boats goes over, since we're high up here is it our job to call the Coast Guard?"
- Jim Rosenhaus

"Travis Buck has racked up the frequent flyer miles going between home and Columbus."
- Tom Hamilton

"And how 'bout the kid?"
- Tom Hamilton on Lonnie Chisenhall

"My friend went golfing today, his tee-time was 2:30. Since nobody is outside golfing since it's so darned hot, it was $7 to tee off at 2:30 on a nice course!"
- Tom Hamilton can't believe how hot it is in Arizona

"From the outside it looks like an airplane hangar. You'd never know it was a baseball stadium from the outside."
- Tom Hamilton on Chase Field

"They're all down his arms, coming up his neck. He's missing the Mike Tyson face tattoo but that's about it...I didn't go any further than that. That's taking reporting a little too far."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Ryan Roberts' tattoos

"Based on how they are ordering things down below, the staff Christmas party is OFF. The budget has been blown."
- Tom Hamilton on the Indians' back office party downstairs

"He doesn't look comfortable against the submarine style pitching of Joe Smith. Most right-handers don't feel comfortable."
- Tom Hamilton on Justin Upton

"Tony Sipp is not paying any attention to the baserunner. You just can't do that in a tie game in the 9th!"
- Tom Hamilton

"We're in the desert! If you don't believe me, the temperature is 113 degrees and the humidity is 18 percent."
- Tom Hamilton

"Sorry Ryan Roberts, you're not that good. Carlos Carrasco is not trying to hit you. Unless Rosie told you to, because of all the tattoos, which seem to really bother [Rosenhause] this series."
- Tom Hamilton

"That's a little play, that doesn't end up in the box score...but just a little slide prevented a double play. [...] Now you've got runners at the corners with one out."
- Tom Hamilton on Austin Kearns' baserunning in the 3rd

"The park is air-conditioned and your car is air-conditioned, but people don't want to make the walk from the car to the ballpark in this heat."
- Jim Rosenhaus on the struggle to get people to come to day games in Arizona

"You come to this balllpark and you'd better score runs. You're not going to see many 1-0 games in this ballpark."
- Tom Hamilton

"Justin Masteron has a lead!"
- Tom Hamilton, after just 2 innings

"Can you imagine Brett Favre uncorking a throw from short?"
- Tom Hamilton talking about Favre's amature baseball career

"Dusty [Baker] thought 'if that idiot on the radio thought of it, why didn't I think of it two innings ago?'"
- Tom Hamilton noticing that the Reds got someone warming up as soon as he mentioned it

"Does anybody ever get hurt when they're in a slump?"
- Tom Hamilton on the exit of the hot-hitting Travis Buck

"Boy, it's hard to think of a third baseman right now who has a stronger throwing arm than Lonnie Chisenhall."
- Tom Hamilton

"If the Indians are in town, Brandon Phillips is going to have a big weekend. He just absolutely TORTURES the Indians. It's almost as if he wants to make sure the Indians never forget they let him get away."
- Tom Hamilton

"We're going to get to see the Cuban Missle, Aroldis Chapman. He can throw 100 miles an hour, but there's a chance he'll also throw it up here to our broadcast booth."
- Tom Hamilton Aroldis Chapman's control

"Two hours for Rowland, but an hour and twenty minutes for Rosie."
"You gotta make up your mind. I've been accused of driving slowly before, too."
- Tom Hamilton on driving from Cincinnatti to Indianapolis

"All Drew Stubbs is trying to do right now is padding his stolen base total. You know what's going to happen to Drew Stubbs this weekend? He's going to get drilled."
- Tom Hamilton does not like you trying to steal when we've given up trying to throw you out

"What the remaining Reds fans are saying now is that the fireworks better be phenomenal. Because the game got ugly quick for Reds fans."
- Tom Hamilton

"This is why having American League teams have to do this is idiotic. Having the pitchers bat, all that is going to happen is your pitcher gets hurt."
- Tom Hamilton DOES NOT LIKE when AL teams have to bat their pitcher

"In most years in the American league if you have an ERA under 4.0 you're leading the league."
- Tom Hamilton on the Indians' team ERA of 3.65

"The bats have come alive since they left San Francisco!"
- Tom Hamilton

"There's no question that National League lineups in no way compare to the American League. Part of it is the DH but there's just not good hitting in the National League."
- Tom Hamilton

"For nine days I twiddled my thumbs until the 7th inning then hoped I got an at-bat."
- Travis Hafner to Tom Hamilton

"They don't like the balls and strikes being called, but get used to it that's what he did in the first inning! [...] One thing about the Yankees - they never believe that a call should go against them."
- Tom Hamilton on a dust-up between the Yankees catcher and the home plate umpire

"I don't think anyone in the American League is sorry to see [pitchers batting] go."
"You know who will miss it? Josh Tomlin. He got some great hits!"
- Mike Hegan and Jim Rosenhaus on pitchers batting

"CC Sabathia already said 'I'm going to the Bahamas, don't call.'"
- Tom Hamilton on the All Star Game picks

"The last time these teams faced each other on the 4th of July was here, 5 years ago, and the Indians won 19-1! Tonight, nothing but goose eggs!"
- Tom Hamilton

"His numbers have started to drop a little with age. And a lack of vitamins."
- Tom Hamilton does not like A-Rod taking "vitamins" (HE MEANS STEROIDS)

"Well it had to have hit something or Teixeira would have caught it. He catches everything!"
- Tom Hamilton on a mysterious bounce in the 7th

"How get your first home run on the 4th of July against the New York Yankees, and your second hit off of AJ Burnett?"
- Tom Hamilton on Kearns' homer

"Vinnie Pestano was 10 during Derek Jeter's rookie year."
- Tom Hamilton

"It doesn't matter how the weather is at home, how the wind is blowing. It's blowing in tonight and they just hit two more homers at home! We all know how miserable the spring was in Cleveland yet the Indians have now hit 53 home runs at home, 24 on the road."
- Tom Hamilton

"This is kind of a micrcosm of this season. This ballclub does not rely on one guy."
- Tom Hamilton

"That was vintage Sizemore!"
- Jim Rosenhaus after Grady's awesome catch in the 5th

"The problem with a 2-0 lead...if you're Manny Acta you hold your breath every time a Yankee comes to the plate with a man on."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians have had so many opportunities, they need to cash in here or rue the day."
- Tom Hamilton on having the bases loaded

"Well you don't have to guess where Boone Logan is from. Texas. With a name like that he's not from North Dakota."
- Tom Hamilton

"With bases loaded and less than 2 outs they're hitting .613 as a team."
- Tom Hamilton, on the Indians

"I don't think Villanueva is going to invite Dana DeMuth for a late-night dinner."
- Tom Hamilton on the home-plate umpire's tight strike zone

"They've got a shift on for Hafner. My goodness, there is a second baseman in right field, about 40 feet."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians have the makings of a pretty good rec league basketball team now with [McAllister], Masterson...Carlos Carrasco is a big boy too, maybe on point."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"You know, 94 pitches here in the big leagues, the way he had to work so hard, is like 120 pitches down in Columbus."
- Mike Hegan on McAllister's pitch count

"This game has had the pace of the old tortise and the hare race. [...] As we've said before, some 4 hour games are too short and some 3 hour games are too long. This game is too long."
- Mike Hegan after 3 hours

"Encarnacion jumps up in the air and he's not happy. But he's got to get in line, Dana DeMuth has 15 other people unhappy with his calls tonight."
- Tom Hamilton after Encarnacion strikes out

"If the Indians don't win this game, they have only themselves to blame."
- Tom Hamilton

"You don't want to be down 3 runs but if you have to be down 3 runs this is the situation you want to face."
- Mike Hegan with Hafner up and the bases loaded

"A night of utter frustration ends with one of the best 9th innings ever at Progressive Field."
- Tom Hamilton

"Basically when you see what we saw last night from Travis Hafner, it's like seeing a perfect game, frequency-wise."
- Tom Hamilton

"So much for the Indians being able to capitalize off the momentum of last night's comeback."
- Tom Hamilton

"You wonder how many starts he's going to get before the Indians go to triple-A."
- Tom Hamilton on Mitch Talbot

"Try to figure out this one. Jo-Jo Reyes goes three years without a win, and he's trying to beat them for the second time this year."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well the good news for the Indians is that they have Josh Tomlin tomorrow."
- Tom Hamilton

"You can't go into the 9th inning down 5 or 6 runs thinking 'Well, we'll get 'em, just like last night.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"All the time, Orlando Cabrera seems to be in the middle of it."
- Tom Hamilton on Orlando at bat as the tying run

"Boy that's what happens when you have a home plate umpire who acts like he's never called balls and strikes before."
-  Tom Hamilton is not amused

"I can't think of anyone else who's given up 9 this year..."
"Oh, Fausto. He gave up 10."
"[Laughing] Well, you know, I was trying to come up with 9 not 10..."
"We weren't laughing that day were we?"
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on Charlie Furbush giving up 9 runs today

"There is something about watching the All Star game and seeing your club first in the standings."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians have preached and preached both to Carmona and Carrasco - when you're in trouble quit trying to trick hitters."
- Tom Hamilton

"It almost looks like some guys are on the All Star break too soon."
- Tom Hamilton

"John Farrel feels Jose Bautista has done enough damage for the weekend."
- Tom Hamilton on Bautista leaving the game

"He's like Secretariat right now."
- Tom Hamilton on Bautista leading in homers by so many

"A year ago at this time, the Cleveland Indians were 20 games under .500 and 15 games out of first. This has not been a good weekend but look at the first half as a whole."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians may be the only playoff contender that doesn't need bullpen help."
- Tom Hamilton