One Little Victory in the YYZ

Tonight's game had everything you wanted from your Tribe. Solid Masterson, unbelievable defense, plenty of hits with a little bit of power, and the Bullpen Mafia. Oh, and capitalizing on the other team's errors, of course.

And Geddy Lee!

Do you think that inducting Rush into the Rock Hall generated some good juju for the Tribe this week? Yes.

I'll be the first one to admit that I was more afraid of R.A. Dickey than I was confident in Justin Masterson. Masterson's rocky start didn't add to my confidence level, though. But dude totally proved me wrong by hanging tough some walks and loaded bases, and finishing off with three one-two-three innings. If that's what Masterson is going to do this year than doggone it we've got our ace!

I don't even need to tell you what Joe Smith, Vinnie Pestano and Chris Perez did in the 7th, 8th and 9th innings. I know you know what the Jays did - nothing. Well, nothing except for the one hit that Chris Perez likes to give up. Otherwise, our boys blanked 'em!

Of course the stellar pitching did get help from stellar defense, in the form of Asdrubal Cabrera, natch. He wasted no time being amazing this season by snagging one off the felt, getting knocked on his culo and still having the ability to get it to Kipnis who got it to Swisher. Nick Swisher was of course pumped UP! about this play, but you'd better believe it that Justin Masterson said a little woo-hoo of his own!

Wondering what some of the other FNGs were doing? Drew Stubbs was running around as advertised, catchin' stuff. Would Choo have slid into a wall in the first game of the year? Hmm, I'd vote no.

So, how did the new Tribe do against 2012 Cy Young Award Winner R.A. Dickey? Fantastic! They got 4 runs and 3 earned runs. One of those runs was due to the inability of Dickey to throw into the catcher's glove.

Much love to JP Arencibia for not only giving us 3 passed balls, but for also being a stand-up guy against bullying. Tangent: April is Autism Awareness Month. This February, JP gave tickets to tonight's Jay's home opener to an autistic guy who's a huge Blue Jays fan once he heard that the guy had been struggling with bullies. Nice that the whole stadium was Lit Up Blue for autism, too - I assume.

My dog was lit up blue for autism today!

Ok, so, how'd we hit?

Michael Bourn is our new leadoff guy, because he's got the speed of Kenny Lofton (or Rickey Henderson, however you want to phrase it). He didn't get any steals today but he went 2 for 5 on the night with one of his hits coming after the game in a scoring change!

OMG ASDRUBAL!!! He started the game with a walk then in the 5th, BOOM! Two-run homer! It was pretty funny because I started the tradition of posting "OMG ASDRUBAL!!!" to Facebook after every homer, and my friends were commenting on how they were racing to their newsfeed to see my announcement. Ha! He's on track for 162...

Michael Brantley is hitting .500 already. I definitely see .300 in his future! He went 1 for 2 today with 2 walks - either he's got an amazing eye or the opposing pitchers are afraid of him. I'm going with the latter - the cat's out of the bag! Man, that guy is awesome. I hope you all put him on your fantasy teams...

The Carlos Santana we paid for showed up today! He went 1 for 3 with a double and a walk. That's patience at the plate, yo.

Mark Reynolds was the DH today. Not sure why he's our guy and not Ryan Raburn but I'll leave that mystery to Tito. I guess maybe he gets the nod for being the first guy we based our season on? He went 0 for 3 today with a walk and a run, so not useless. I don't really have an opinion on this guy so we'll get to know him together this year!

Lonnie Chisenhall is your guy to watch this year! (Aside from Michael Brantley) He went 1 for 4 with an RBI (on a ground out). He got the Tribe's first RBI of the season. Nick Swisher was so excited for him!

Drew Stubbs also got it done at the plate, so far proving to be a valuable 9th hitter. So far, you know, after one game. He also went 1 for 4 with a RBI. Batting, fielding - we like Drew Stubbs!

Nobody stole a base today. A little disappointed since we kept getting promised speed. Asdrubal tried to take care of it himself but got caught. ¡Ups!

I liked this game as an opening day game because it wasn't extreme in any way. Nothing crazy happened, there wasn't a big blowout (either way), we didn't have to employ any trickery. It was vanilla and excitingly so. It looked like a game we could play any day, and if we play this very game every day then we will have an amazing season!

Tomorrow's game is at 7:05 but I'll be at my grandpa's wake. Huge bummer, sorry. But don't worry, I'll be back as soon as I can to see what happened and then to give you my most upbeat impression of things. I hope there's as much excitement and enthusiasm for tomorrow's game as their was today! It was a great baseball day - let's keep it up!

Radio Chatter:
"In the past you'd come here and it was like watching a game in the library."
- Tom Hamilton on the enthusiasm of Jays fans

"You wouldn't think there would be FIVE Cy Young winners who would end up pitching for another team the next year on opening day."
- Tom Hamilton (Dickey, Clemens, Martinez, Cone, Maddux)

"He is going to know everybody in the first row by their first names by the end of this game."
- Tom Hamilton on Arencibia's troubles with catching Dickey

"If you give Smith, Pestano and Perez a 3-run lead, usually that's a great day for the Indians."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Blue Jays, if they lose this game, are going to say 'Woulda, coulda, shoulda' about the first few innings."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy those baseball gods have a wicked sense of humor..."
- Tom Hamilton on Perez coming in with a 4-1 lead in the opener...again

Big Bashers

So you'll never guess how we won this game. It was all homers, all by the top of the order, and without the help of Shelley Duncan! Wow!

Oh AND we also won due to some stellar pitching by Fausto that didn't include any big innings or melt downs. Just 3 earned runs over 6 innings and 3 strikeouts. He got himself a WIN and is now 7-15.

That #bullpenmafia was back today, with Smith, Pestano and Chris Perez. Three innings, 3 batters each, 3 strikeouts total. It was capped off by a fancy twirl and save number 35 for Perez.

Sweet and simple:

Fukudome, 1 for 4 with a homer.

Kipnis, 2 for 4 with a double and stolen base.

Asdrubal, 1 for 4 with a homer.

Hafner, 2 for 4 with a homer and 2 RBI.

Gavin Floyd shut everyone else down except for Trevor Crowe who got 1 hit (and a stolen base!) Considering so few guys got hits and nobody walked, you will all be happy to know that there were only 7 strikeouts! Yesterday we struck out 11 times in just 7 innings. Progress!

So Asdrubal...he has fallen in to the "get hot in Cleveland, get hurt" trap and strained his back while swinging the bat in the 8th. Tom Hamilton went all scorched-earth on me and said "maybe done for the season" right away which is just NOT FAIR because I have tickets to 2 more games yet! Maybe I need to paste "Shelley Duncan" over the "Asdrubal" part of the sign?

Did you see Jack Hannahan was in today? They say he's all better! So, one up, one down...

Just checked out the lineup for tonight's game. Zeke is in, and so is Thome and so is....Valbuena?! Aye aye aye! I guess we just have no choice with this schedule.

Zach McAllister with his 12.27 ERA will be facing another young guy with 0 wins. Maybe it'll be an awesome slug-fest again. For both teams equally of course.

See you tonight!

Radio Chatter:
"If you're gonna miss, miss off the plate not on the plate."
- Mike Hegan gives sage advice

"The guy's as big as Paul Bunyan."
- Tom Hamilton on Adam Dunn

"You ask the man on the street who Juan Pierre is, they might say he's a French chef. Our owns an ice cream company."
- Mike Hegan remembering the sponsors

"This isn't like the NBA where all you have to do is be a mediocre ball club and get into the playoffs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Joe Smith showed some hops!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Well, since we believe in Santa Claus...couldn't he deliver Michael Cuddyer?"
- Tom Hamilton's Christmas list

WTF SHELLEY DUNCAN?!

I'm wondering if now that Asdrubal has seemingly hung it up for the season (hitting first and second pitches now, dude) that I need to retire "OMG ASDRUBAL!!" for now and debut a "WTF SHELLEY DUNCAN?!" sign.

Of course, that probably won't get on the big board because it's somewhat naughty. And Shelley being awesome is seemingly an every-day thing right now (like Asdrubal being awesome) but what makes it special is that it's unexpected. So you don't want to spoil the unexpected with a "professional" sign.

Carmona wasn't that bad today, for Carmona. He went 5 innings and struck out 4, only giving up 3 runs. That's do-able for a good team to overcome, especially when you're playing the White Sox who aren't the Tigers.

The #bullpenmafia had a hell of a time this afternoon. The White Sox loaded up the bases three times. Maybe four. They had 9 walks over 4 innings and 5 guys had their chance out there. They brought Chris Perez in for the 10th inning and he loaded up the bases and let a grand slam go. Oops!

Sizemore was back in today, but not leading off. Good call because he struck out 3 times. Unfortunately ol' Fukudome who DID lead off did not fare any better. Well better in that he only struck out twice but worse in that he didn't get on base in 5 tries compared to Grady's 4.

Jason Kipnis, on the other hand, is a stud and got himself a hit today. He's got 3 hits in the 3 games he's been back. No home runs yet but...give him time! He did look decent in the field today too.

Thome was in today, playing again against his old team. Standing ovation and all that. Blah Blah. But HEY! He got 2 hits!

As I alluded to, Shelley Duncan had another AWESOME game today. That is why he is playing alongside Jim Thome instead of in lieu of Jim Thome. Dude got another homer and a double today, meaning his 5th homer in the past 7 days and 10th RBI. He has more than DOUBLED his home run total for this year in just one week. Yes he has!

Lonnie is still in and he is still there making us not miss Jack Hannahan THAT much. At least not so much that we're in tears. He went 1 for 4 today and scored a run.

So Duncan got 2 of our 3 RBI and guess who showed up to get the 3rd? Matt LaPorta! He had to come up because Santana was a bit beat up so we needed a first baseman, and Shelley was already in the outfield so there you have it. He went 1 for 4 today but that one was a 1-run double! You're a sneaky one, Matt LaPorta! Not sneaky enough to score from third on a pop to shallow center, though. Remember that for next time.

Sweet Lou also went 1 for 4, and was caught stealing. He stole a base the other night and now I think he thinks he can do stuff like that.

Speaking of stolen bases, Zeke was missing today. Hmmm I hope he's not hurt...

In case you were wondering, they kept the LOB down again today. But strikeouts? 15. Gah!

Tomorrow is baseball and football, at 2 PM and 1 PM respectively. Both are on TV even, can you IMAGINE?!

My strategy will be to watch the Browns, and flip over to the Indians during breaks, then after the game listen to the radio archive. That is the plan.

I think somebody in my house is making cupcakes.

So, if you can tear yourself away from football for a few minutes we'll see you tomorrow!

Radio Chatter:
"Alex Rios and Adam Dunn are the reasons the White Sox aren't doing better than they are right now."
- Tom Hamilton

"Here's Adam Dunn. He gets booed from the moment he sticks his head out of the dugout."
- Tom Hamilton

"I tell you one thing. If a strikeout was a vrirus the Indians team would be flat on it's back. It's not just one guy, everybody has it."
- Tom Hamilton

"If Adam Dunn strikes out here he might get into his car and never come back."
- Tom Hamilton, before Adam Dunn struck out

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Losing Baseball

I've come to my own understanding that the Indians are out of the playoff race by now. I think we all sort of come to that understanding on our own terms - usually days or weeks before math confirms it for us. I felt it stirring a little bit ago, but after today, I'm fully on board.

It's ok though, because I feel really free now. I can go back to the excitement I felt last season while we lingered in the basement and played snippets of amazing baseball. And the excitement I felt in the beginning of this season watching new guys and their new talents unfold. It's once again not about wondering what the same old guys will be doing each game but wondering which new or old - or even older - guy will prove the hero. If only for a moment.

Today's momentary hero was Shelley Duncan, who actually was the hero of the entire game. Not Justin Masterson who has been steady on as the ace all season. He gave up 4 runs. But Shelley Duncan, who I believe has been back and forth from Columbus 5 times this season, got 4 runs in the form of two 2-run homers. Off Justin Verlander.

Yeah, really.

Verlander - who is hopefully going to win the Cy Young Award and possibly even the MVP - has now given up 22 home runs this year, which is sort of middle-of-the-pack as far as homers go (of the top 10 innings-pitched pitchers in the AL, Masterson leads with 7 HR and now Verlander is last with 22). However, Duncan's second home run pushed him over the top as far as Verlander's own home-runs-per-season record, previously at 21. Heynow!

Oh yeah he also got a third hit, going 3 for 4 on the day, because he is amazing! Guess who I am going to try to get to sign the foul ball that I caught (er, collected) and he hit? Shelley Duncan is who!

That's the kind of little junk you can be totally excited about when free of the yoke that is playoff contention.

And, how about Trevor Crowe?! @tcrowe4 has been on Twitter for AGES, posting from all the exotic locales to which he travels as a player on the Columbus Clippers and cheering on his big brothers up north. I had no idea he was coming to the bigs today but there he was! It was like my neighbor was suddenly drafted to play left field or something!

Little Brother didn't do anything at the plate, but he laid it out in center field getting his starchy new uniform all grassy. Yeah buddy!

Oddly enough today's other hero at the plate was our once-exciting rookie and now "ugh, Hannhan is hurt?" replacement 3rd baseman Lonnie Chisenhall. After being seriously oogy at the plate for about 3 weeks now, he belted one off Phil Coke in the 7th to bring us back to within 1 of actually beating the Tigers.

Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Our usually-two-runs starter relinquished 4, and one more with the help of the fielders (I won't mention which of the above heroes committed that error...) and our usually-no-runs #bullpenmafia gave up 3 runs over 4 guys in 3 innings.

We saw most of April and May what happens when we've got it all together - pitching, fielding, batting. Today we score a surprisingly high number of runs off Verlander and Co. (albeit only on 6 hits with most of the team going hitless) and the Tigers score a surprisingly high number off the pinnacle of our staff.

At least there was baseball today, and baseball they did play. My life is going to be much less complicated come September 29, but also a little bit empty.

No time to think about that now. There's more baseball tomorrow! David Huff is comin' to redeem himself at 8:10 in Chicago. See you there!

Radio Chatter:
"Boy he can hit a fastball a mile."
- Tom Hamilton on Shelley Duncan

"All that work to come back and, oh yeah, it's Verlander you're facing."
- Tom Hamilton welcomes back Trevor Crowe

"This just goes to show why I don't play poker. If I were a betting man, with these two pitching, what do you think the over/under would be? About five?"
- Mike Hegan on the inordinate number of runs in today's game

Jack the Ripper and Suphermann

So get this...

First off, I missed listening to a good chunk of the game (I watched on TV with some friends), so I was planning on staying up late and catching the audio archive for some quotes. This was the plan around the 8th inning which is when I got back to my desk. I ended up catching 8 whole innings anyway, and staying up late anyway. But it was all fresh baseball!

Secondly, due to Jack Hannahan's two homers, I was ready to roll out the "Supermanahan" blog post title today already by the 6th inning and guess who Supermaned us to victory in the 16th? Super Jack is who!

But there is also Frank Hermann who went FOUR scoreless innings for us, just like he did in that long Detroit game. And funny how his name fits with Superman...well, it's late. This is the title you get. If you guys want to start a meme, please run with it!

Anyway my point is I'm totally psychic.

This is a funny one from Twitter: "You can tell the A's scouting has gotten lazy when they just sign pitchers with last names like Outman."

So the game went 16 innings, in case you didn't know. Ubaldo went 6 and gave up 3 runs, which probably isn't what Manny wanted for the sake of the bullpen. But what he REALLY didn't want was the bullpen going 10!

Ubaldo did strike out 6 in his 6 innings, so he wasn't half bad. Three is pretty acceptable to overcome, especially now that we're hitting again.

The #bullpenmafia ended up pitching 10 scoreless innings which is great for everyone's ERA but not so great for the arms. Two for Sipp, one for Rage, one for Smith, one for Durbin and as I said, 4 for Hermann.

Nine strikeouts in the 10 innings for the guys and of course no runs. It's really nice to rely on that 'pen in a regular situation but to rely on them for 10 innings is insane. Go, guys!

Batting could have been a lot better today, even though we got 11 hits. Why? LOB is why. Ten LOB.

Zeke started off the game with a triple (dude is FAST!) and then scored on a Fukudome sac fly. Our man Fuku did get a hit tonight but he didn't razzle-dazzle like he has been lately. He kind of let us down by striking out with 2 on in the 15th...if you haven't been paying attention, that is not what we expect of Fukudome anymore.

Jim Thome actually played in to the win tonight, getting on via single (single!) and having his pinch runner Cord Phelps score the winning run. He also had a double earlier in the game. This was his first multi-hit game for us!

Carlos Santana actually wasn't the hero tonight, being held to just one single.

But Jack Hannahan....!!!! He got his 2nd homer in 2 nights - and then his 3rd! Both of them were solo shots. Then he got that hit in the 16th to bring Phelps home. This puts Jack at 16 hits in his last 10 games. Since his son Johnny was born in early August, Jack has had 21 hits and 13 RBI in 16 games.

If you recall, Choo was looking to be Super Dad too right after his Abigail was born. Unfortunately his body betrayed him.

You know who has a 6-game hitting streak? Jason Donald does. That's actually 12 hits in his last 10 games. Tonight he got 2 hits including his 4th-ever double. Unfortunately, the fellas behind him - Jerad Head and Lou Marson - combined for 1 hit and 5 strikeouts. Oops!

So not bad hitting tonight but also not good situational hitting. And nothing from Asdrubal. I wonder if he'll get more extra days off during this murderous stretch of 31 games in 29 days? Or if we're just going to push him to THE EXTREME!!!!!?

Man I need to get some shuteye. It's really lucky for me that tomorrow's a noon game (ELEVEN HOURS! WOOT!) because I gotta start sleeping at night again. After the Hargrove game, last night's live game and audio archive and then 16 innings tonight, I haven't had my 8 hours in a while.

So one more against the A's at noon. Bring your brooms!

Radio Chatter:
"Juan Gonzalez...he always had an entourage. Many of those people are incarcerated now."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you're not going to bunt in that situation, you shouldn't be taking 2 or 3 bunt swings during batting practice."
"If Reggie Jackson can bunt, so can Brandon Allen."
- Mike Hegan and Tom Hamilton don't like Allen not having bunted in the 10th with runners on

"We're going to have to do a bunting clinic tomorrow. Brandon Allen is excused, since he never is allowed to bunt again."
- Tom Hamilton being meta in the 12th inning after Coco Crisp had a messy bunt attempt

"Frank Hermann is doing the job in long relief. Middle relief. Late relief. Whatever you want to call it, he's doing the job."
- Tom Hamilton

"The people are too tired to go after it. They just waved at each other and said 'It's yours.'"
- Tom Hamilton on fan foul ball apathy in the 16th

"My score sheet is just one page. I've now erased every Indians' first name and am keeping score along the side."
- Mike Hegan in the 17th inning

Big Big Loss

First off, shout out to Rob who commented yesterday to let us know he's a Clevelander living in Atlanta and follows the team and reads the blog. Thanks Rob!

So really not much to say about today's game. We lost 10-1. David Huff - who suffered from a missed start due to rain last Sunday - could not cut it and gave up 5 earned runs before he left in the 3rd. That's pretty devastating because before this he was pitching .51 and had looked absolutely fantastic in the short rained-out start. For serious.

The #bullpenmafia didn't fare so well either, with Durbin giving up 2 and Hermann giving up 3 (Raffy did good, giving up none) but it didn't really matter because our offense could only get 1 run.

Eight strikeouts and one walk tonight. Seven hits and 9 LOB.

CHOOOO looked stellar tonight, and has 10 hits in the 7 games he's been back. That is AWESOME!! Tonight he got our only run in the form of his 6th homer! Him-nae-yo Choo!

Both Choo and Santana have 5-game hitting streaks. Santana went 2 for 4 today even though he was catching. And...not one error for that guy. Go Carlos!

Luis Valbuena actually got a hit tonight so his average jumped 18 points to .138. What he got was sort of an error but someone felt bad for him and gave him a hit.

We haven't won since Valbuena has been back. Granted, it's only been 2 games but still...where is Shelley already? Hell, where is Cord Phelps?

I seriously want to punch this asshole who sings about Folgers and "gettin' home to you." It's the sappiest goddamn coffee commercial ever. And it's a country song. I would also complain about the New-Orleans-Themed one but it may be ... too soon? It's getting to be that point in the season where I am past the point of being bored of the radio commercials and now starting to get angry with them.

I'm really tired, so before this delves deeper in to The Angry Tribe, let's just sign off.

The good news is that the way we've been playing, no way will Leyland put in Verlander tomorrow. So we've got that going for us.

It's going to be Ubaldo versus Rick Porcello who we schooled last time. But that was a whole 10 days ago or so, and we didn't have Valbuena.

The game is on WKYC at 1:05, so everyone tune up their rabbit ears!

Radio Chatter:
"The key to this series, according to Manny Acta, is facing Cabrera with the bases empty."
- Tom Hamilton as Miguel Cabrera came to bat with Tigers at first and second

"You could tell the Tiger fans from the Kenny Chesney fans. There were boots and spurs and cowboy hats and Tiger uniforms. Kenny Chesney jerseys mingled with Al Kaline jerseys."
- Mike Hegan on the big events in Detroit tonight

"You just get the feeling Mike that this could be a high scoring game."
- Tom Hamilton in the 3rd

"When you play a big series like this one...it's how both teams do after the series that makes a big difference."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you're going to lose, play well."
- Mike Hegan

Up All Night

Boy that was fun, wasn't it? Then it was no fun. It was so fun and then so not fun that I'm still wide awake and can't get to sleep.

I was really stoked for this game today too. I missed hearing last Saturday's game live, Sunday was a rain-out, Monday was an off day and today was an hour later than usual. It was a Ubaldo day! I'm going to stay excited for Ubaldo days for the rest of the season - it's my job.

Instead of an "Everybody Hits!" game today we had a "Everybody Strikes Out" game. I shit you not. We struck out 19 times as a team - at least 1 for every starter and 4 for some of you who know who you arepronk! I guess in honor of Jim Thome Week we can forgive Hafner's 4 K's since he did get a homer, 2 hits, 2 RBI and scored 2 runs.

So Ubaldo, huh? Four runs in 4 innings. That was awful Carmona of him.  He did strike out 5 tho but son those numbers are meaningless in this sort of cat-and-squid game. We need you to not give up 4 runs in 4 innings. That is too many runs for that many innings. Maybe over 7 or 8 innings, or maybe 2 over 4 innings. But 4 in 4 for our million-dollar starter? No.

Bullpen Mafia went backwards after that, putting in our new hero Hermann who was a late-game godsend for us a few games back but gave up 2 tonight. Then everyone else came in and pitched a lot, even Chris Perez did 1.2 innings. Even DAVID HUFF came in to finish it up, because he's tired of picking his nose in the dugout when not on a bus to Columbus.

So the bullpen did ok but did give up 3 runs. Not too crazy over 9 innings but surely it was no Detroit extra-innings game.

While they did strike out 19 times, our lineup did scramble their little hearts out to collect runs and catch up to Ubaldo's folleys.

Michael Brantley only struck out once (?), got 3 hits and scored twice. Choo was following him instead of leading off and...boy do I miss Kipnis. Even Asdrubal wasn't that awesome. He SEEMS to do better directly following a guy who likes to get on base (Brantley, Kipnis) but I could just be making shit up.

Carlos Santana was kind of impressive in the 5th. He bunted himself on, stole second and then came around to score and put us just 1 behind. You don't see that kind of effort from that guy every day. He was catching though and gave up 2 bases (but to be fair, Lou gave up 1). He did have a few nice stops.

Jason Donald managed to get 2 RBI with 0 hits. He walked with the bases loaded and sac-flied Santana in from his 5th inning bunt trick.

Lonnie, LaPorta and Lou did absolutely nothing at the plate tonight. Super Jack came in and gave us a double and also made a fantastic play in the 11th to get a DP for Perez and end the inning. MLB.com didn't see fit to put it online, but it sounded pretty fantastic on the radio. I think we almost lost Mike Hegan on that one!

This is a really cool play in the outfield. It was acrobatic. I could hardly follow it!

I'm going to have to say this game was either lost by Jiminez or won by Floyd. We did actually get to Floyd after just 5.2 innings but he struck out 9 in that time and only gave up 2 runs going into the 6th, which was impressive the way he started out pitching. But this team should not have had to play 14 against Chicago.

This is The Positive Tribe so I'm not even going to mention the standings or Chicago's next starter. We'll just see you tomorrow (later today!) again at 8:10 PM and hope for something magical.

Radio Chatter:
"The guy who was touting the theater district in Chicago said 'Come to Chicago and you'll see bad baseball but there's great theater in the theater district.'"
- Tom Hamilton on the Chicago Tourism channel at the hotel

"Marson doesn't have enough fingers, Rosie. He needs to add one or two."
- Mike Hegan on Jiminez's number of pitches

"The White Sox have won 8 out of 10 games, so the Mouth that Roars has been silent lately. [...] Guillen is at his best when the White Sox are at thwir worst."
- Tom Hamilton

"I wonder...does anybody review these tapes of the umpires and say 'We've got to get some better umpires...'?"
- Tom Hamilton still does not like umpires

"This is one of those ballgames where a walk is literally as good as a base hit."
- Mike Hegan

Doin' Stuff

The Tribe was doin' stuff tonight. Striking guys out, getting hits, stealing bases, not making errors, smashing balls off the Green Monster. All sorts of stuff that win you a game.

An win we did! A crucial win to split the 4-game series with the Red Sox and pick up a whole game on the losing Tigers.

First off, Masterson was even BETTER than usual getting NINE strikeouts over 6 innings *boggle* He even got 4 strikeouts in one inning which does do a lot to raise your K total.

The #bullpenmafia was back to true form tonight. Pestano, Sipp and Perez. Zero hits and zero runs over 3 innings. Goodnight!

Tons of hits for our sleepy-hitting lineup tonight, too. And the big stars of tonight weren't the sprouts!

Speaking of sprouts, Kipnis did not get a 5th homer in t a row. He did get a hit, tho, for a 5-game hitting streak.

Asdrubal extended his hitting streak to 7 with just one hit but he got on base enough to score 3 runs - thanks in part to 2 more stolen bases!

Hafner went 3 for 4 and is back up to hitting .300. They're basically calling his min-slump over again. He smashed two huge doubles off the Green Monster.

Santana went 3 for 4 as well, with a couple singles, a walk and 2-run homer in the 6th. Unfortunately his catching sort of stunk...but maybe it's ok if it stinks and we win. It drives the point home to Acta and we also end up with the win.

Fukudome woke the fuck up today! He went 3 for 5 scoring a run and getting a RBI. I watched the game on TV today and boy does his swing look weird. Just really awkward. Maybe he's not trying to swing like that but he always seems to be reaching and leaving the box. But, he made contact. He also had some nice patient at-bats.

LaPorta wasn't too bad today, getting two hits. He even got an RBI. So today he was wishy. 

Jason Donald - who is a sprout I'm not yet excited about - got a hit, and then was traded for Hannahan in the 9th, who struck out. Yaaaaawn...

Justin Masterson got the backing of SEVEN runs (well, 6 by the time he left) and 14 hits. Finally got his 9th win!

UBALDO tomorrow!! Who's stoked? I hope the team keeps their hittin' and Ubaldo does some magic and it's an awesome game. Can't wait - sad it's not on TV and that it's not until 8:05. Ugghh...I might seriously just go to the gym longer just to keep myself busy while I wait.

I did something different today and didn't hang on every word of the radio. I did chores and stuff. The furnace filter doesn't clean itself, you know. And the dog certainly doesn't brush herself, oh no. Anyway, I only have one Radio Chatter for you.

See you tomorrow. UBALDO!

Radio Chatter:
"Boy you won't hear a much quieter Fenway park than you do now."
- Tom Hamilton in the 6th inning after we had 6 runs

Somebody Call Brantley's Mom

And get him some Gatorade and soda crackers. Because earlier this year I had what he's got right now (stomach flu) and that's the only thing that made it better. That, and copious amounts of sleep.

The only thing that would have made it better faster was if my mom was there to do stuff for me, like buy more Gatorade and soda crackers, and maybe clean my bathroom every few hours.

So somebody get Michael Brantley's mom out to wherever he is because he is not getting better fast enough. And I have had it up to HERE with Luis Valbuena! Never liked that guy in the infield and I sure as heck don't like him in the outfield, where he seems to be even more inept.

Argh. I said some un-nice things about Valbuena today on Facebook and one of my friends chastised me for the sentiments not being positive, but I positively dislike Luis Valbuena as a baseball player.

I actually missed the beginning of the game today. It was one of those deals where I was all "Oh boy, baseball!" around 10 or 11 AM. Then I got all in to work and when I looked up it was 3 PM! Good for me for getting some work done but I was quite perturbed by the time Valbuena lost the game.

Josh Tomlin had his 30th game going 5+ innings today (or was it 29th?) Only player to do it since 1919. Tribe fans are really familiar with this stat from this year, I wonder if anyone else is? Do they mention it on ESPN?

Tomlin did give up 4 runs but it was about 200 degrees and wet out there so I'm just glad he bothered to show up, really.

Joe Smith came in for an inning of relief and thank God he didn't give up any runs, because it's seriously important to me that his ERA goes back under 1. I don't know why it is, but it is! So, GO JOE!

Our man Sipp could not keep his shit together today, again. He gave up 3. Well, Luis Valbuena helped him give up 3 and so did Orlando Cabrera. Sipp actually struck a guy out. Luis was just too tired from having to run all the way out to left field to help a brother out.

Pestano came in and did a lovely job, but it was too late and Valbuena was still in left. So we lost the game.

If the bullpen mafia was a real mafia, I would be scared to wake up tomorrow as Luis Valbuena. Just sayin.

Enough about Valbuena tho, let's talk about some rookies we LIKE. Such as Ezequiel Carrera and Lonnie Chisenhall!

I was sad to see Zeke go after he was brought up in the Great Pitching Drought of 2011 (last week) but fate and the loss of 3 outfielders (Sizemore, Brantley, Buck) let him stick around and show us what he could do. He was very Brantley in the 1-spot today, getting 2 hits and scoring a run. He also has happy feet and got caught stealing. But I think he's going to keep trying to be Willie Mays Hays in order to keep his job.

Asdrubal continues to be Asdrubal, with two hits including a double. Not sure why his average isn't back up over .300. Oh yeah that's right, because he's had almost 400 at-bats already! He's tied for 4th in the AL. Third for games. I bet he's livid that he missed a game before the All Star Game! Grr!

Hafner was good for a walk and a double today. He's hitting reliably but not exceptionally just yet. Only .216 in his last 10 games. But, I still like him way better than Santana batting cleanup.

Oh yeah, back to our new guys. Lonnie Chisenhall got a homer off Joe Nathan, which isn't too shabby since it's Joe Nathan and he hasn't given up but 4 other homers this year. It was a rather long homer in the 9th, but sadly too little too late. Because Austin Kearns and Luis Valbuena were up next and...well, they can't all be magical 9th innings.

We all have tomorrow off and then the next game is Friday night at 7:05 against the White Sox, at home. With Carlos Carrasco, yay! (I hope yay, right?)

What I also hope happens is that Luis Valbuena makes an absolute fool out of me and does something spectacular in the game so I can eat my hat. Wouldn't that be nice?! I would love to eat my hat, LUIS. DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Have a good night off, and see you then!

Radio Chatter:
"He is a good closer because he immediately puts a bad night behind him. You would not have known this morning that he had a bad save last night. Now, the bubble gum bucket knows he had a blown save..."
- Tom Hamilton on Chris Perez

"I get the feeling Rosie, before this day is done, this game is going to be won by offense."
- Tom Hamilton in the 4th inning

"Tomorrow you'll look and say 'Cabrera grounded out, what's the big deal?' That's one of the best at-bats Cabrera has had on this roadtrip."
- Tom Hamilton on Orlando's 10-pitch at-bat in the 4th

"You can hear the crowd saying 'No! No! Don't put him in!"
- Tom Hamilton re-using his Matt Capps repitoire

"In baseball if you have a player in an unfamiliar position, the ball will find him, and at critical times."
- Tom Hamilton on Valbuena missing a ball in the 8th

"Sandy Alomar said it best 'This game of baseball is for those who are humbled and those who are about to be humbled.'"
- Tom Hamilton

Sloppy Sunday

Oh, boffins...once again uninspired by Indians baseball on a Sunday afternoon.

New sprout pitcher Jeanmar Gomez was up to pitch today, and was deceptively good until it was too late and he had already given up 3 homers and 5 runs. Then, Joe Smith did something Joe Smith is not supposed to do, and gave up 2 runs. Now his ERA is 1.30!!! Nooooooo!

I still haven't found the place on the Internets that lets you compare stats for Major League Bullpens. You know, how everyone says "The Indians have the [#]-ranked bullpen in the league!" or "The Indians bullpen has given up the [#] fewest runs so far this year!" The stats exist but the extrapolation does not exist easily so I don't know how the bullpenmafia has slipped lately but they have.

The first few batters tonight, Hamilton was all "They might not be able to figure [Orioles pitcher] Mitch Atkins out until the second time through the order." Then, Travis Hafner cruuuuushed one and then Santana cruuuuushed one. After that, Hammy and Rosie were all "They totally have Mitch Atkins figured out!" and "ZOMG Rosie they are gonna kick some butt!"

But then they pulled Atkins and put in this Hendrickson guy from Friday. Let me tell you, this man is very thin. He is 6'9" tall and if you read previous Radio Chatter on him, you'd know he played for the Cavaliers at one time. Anyway it was 90 degrees out with I think 99% humidity and dude was wearing a long-sleeved shirt. Probably partly because he was cold and partly because he is embarrassed of his very thin arms.

Anyway, we got no hits off of fatty there, and no runs off anyone for the rest of the game.

Eleven LOB, folks.

Other than the 2 homers we did get 8 hits. Travis Buck got 2 hits and the only other RBI, off a double. He hit in Ezquiel Carrera, who was running for Grady, who ... is out with a knee injurygoddammit.

I think I said yesterday that we'd never see Zeke again but uhm...surprise! He'll be here until Grady is back I suspect.

Valbuena, who I still don't trust, had 2 hits. He also struck out so, boo! Hiss!

Matt LaPorta was kinda OK today. He went 1 for 2, getting hit by a pitch and walking once.

They shut down Asdrubal and Brantley today, tho. Big time, since the pair has been doing pretty super good against the Orioles. They didn't even get walked!

Asdrubal did have an awesome play today - another behind-the-back flip going past second. I honestly can't find it online anywhere. I mean, it was just as spectacular as his previous flip from this year so where is it? Is it clichéd to show Asdrubal rockin' the infield now? Was that play from yesterday instead? Am I confused?

I am pretty sure I saw it happen. It was awesome. Sorry that you missed it!

Tomorrow's going to be TIGHT. Well, "tight" in a sense that it's a sort of way to describe "exciting" and "exciting" is a way to describe a day with two baseball games. I can't say that I have the utmost confidence in our starters, or our even-further-skeletonized offense but hey - 6 hours of baseball!

So the games are at 1:10 PM and 8:10 PM. Bring your radios to work!

Radio Chatter:
"You have problems if you can't figure out Mitch Atkins."
- Tom Hamilton

"Rosie if Mitch Atkins is around in time for you to do the play-by-play in the 4th inning, I'll be shocked."
- Tom Hamilton (Atkins lasted 3)

"I don't like the way this game is going. The Orioles keep hanging around."
- Tom Hamilton

My Own Double-Header!

It's been decided - by me - that the $19.95/year for Gameday Audio (or maybe it's $14.95? I forget) is a must-have for anyone who doesn't have a DVR and SportsTime Ohio. In fact, it's probably better than a DVR and cable because I can listen to the games from anywhere, any time.

Like today, when I woke up in Redmond, WA (why yes, I DID go to the Microsoft store!) and listened to some of last night's game, then went to Seattle (why yes, I DID go up into the Space Needle!) then came back and finished last night's game and went right on to tonight's game. Extra fun: I got to fast-forward through commercials!

Anyway, it's all pretty cool. Oh yeah, having a laptop to take with you is cool too. Would you believe I didn't have a modern working laptop until just now? Truth!

Ok so today's post is a double-header since I listened to Thursday and Friday's games sort of like a double-header with a huge rain delay in the middle.

First off the pitching was once again awesome. Probably because it was Masterson and Tomlin and not uhm...Carmona and Talbot. Tomlin did give up 3 homers (he has given up 18 this year - he likes giving up homers) but 2 of them were solo shots, and in the same inning. Wow, is that cat predictable!

Masterson gave us 6 and didn't really need any help finishing up, but Smith, Pestano and Sipp came in to do the job. Smith and Pestano worked on Friday too AS WELL AS Durbin, Raffy and All Star hero Chris Perez. Together the 8 guys pitched 7 innings, struck out 9 and gave up ZERO runs!

Tony Sipp struck out the side in the 9th on Thursday. Chris Perez got his 22nd save on Friday. And Joe Smith? His ERA is .80 and he did pitch two days in a row.

Don't you just love the #bullpenmafia?!

Taking care of business on the offensive side was, well, almost everyone. But ESPECIALLY the top of the order.

Let's start with our All Star Asdrubal, who apparently was tired since his trip to Arizona but not too tired to hit a homer in his first at-bat on Thursday, then another on his second at-bat on Friday. He was 4 for 10 over the 2 nights with 2 homers, 4 RBI and 2 runs scored. I suppose maybe he was too tired to do anything spectacular defensively? He did, like, get an error...

Also coming alive these last two games, and somewhat surprisingly, were Grady Sizemore and Carlos Santana. Carlos followed Asdrubal with his 14th homer in the 1st (Santana has 14, Cabrera 16) and on Friday Grady got his 10th. They both also got doubles on the nights they got their home runs. Unfortunately, both guys weren't feeling it both days so they didn't quite back each other up. They also were a bit strike-out-y when not hitting longballs. However, if they're taking the chance to hit for power while in Baltimore, I won't complain!

Hafner was pretty tight even though he didn't join the Bawlmer Howmer Club yet. He's being patient and getting walks - 4 walks over the 2 games. In fact, Thursday night he was 2 for 2 with 2 walks, no strikeouts and 1 RBI. Friday he didn't get any hits but did walk twice and score once.

Scoring 3 runs over these 2 games was Michael Brantley, who got his ass on base 5 out of 10 times!

Further on down the line is LaPorta who isn't looking too bad still. He's hit in every game he's been back except one, and has even had a couple multi-hit games.

Lonnie Chisenhall - despite looking like "Michael Jackson in that video 'Thriller'" according to Tom Hamilton, due to a bruised face and a bloodshot eye - managed to get a double and then a game-winning single in the 6th. They let him sit out the 9th inning because, damn, I bet he has one hell of a headache!

Oh you know who came in to play for a bit on Thursday? Ezequiel Carrera! He probably won't be up much longer - I guess we have 2 extra guys on our bench until Talbot and Cabrera's replacements have to pitch - but there he was!

Really nice couple of games here to bring us back from the break. If you recall, we were pretty sad before the break. Granted, the O's are pretty bullshit this year but what a way to stretch our legs, right?

Two more in Baltimore after this, too! That's pretty smooth. Unfortunately I think I'll be missing Saturday and Sunday's games too. Live, at least. But never fear because I've got my own time delay machine woohoo!

See you next time!

Radio Chatter:
"It almost looks like one of those fake eyes you would see used in one of those horror movies."
- Tom Hamilton on Lonnie Chisenhall's injured eye

"Teams like the Orioles with a lot of veterans...they can go south in a hurry."
- Tom Hamilton on the sorry state of the Orioles

"Guthrie's been a different guy since that double play ball got him out of a jam in the 3rd."
- Tom Hamilton in the 5th, when the game was still close

"Hey, you're a starter and you go to the pen? That's a promotion on this club!"
- Chad Durbin via Mike Hegan on Masterson's relief pitching last friday

"That right there is why the Orioles don't win. First pitch swinging, you're an RBI guy, and you pop it up? It just can't happen."
- Tom Hamilton is disappointed in Nick Markakis

"There was  time when Joe Tate was saying 'Wham! With the right hand...' for Mark Hendrickson. He played for the Cleveland Cavaliers."
- Tom Hamilton

"I'm telling you folks - you can write it down if you're scoring with us. He is going to strike out for the third time tonight in one or two pitches. He can't touch Pestano's slider."
- Tom Hamilton on Mark Reynolds, two pitches before he struck out in the 8th

=================
"When you left the Orioles ballpark in '97 did you ever think it would be like this today?"
- Jim Rosenhaus on the sorry state of the Orioles

"Indians lead 3-2 but I tell you what, it feels like it should be 8-2."
- Tom Hamilton by the 3rd inning

"...none of which can be aired, or Rosie loses his job."
- Tom Hamilton on Jim Rosenhaus's interview with former Indian Wayne Kirby

"It looks like you on Saturday morning."
- Tom Hamilton suggesting Rosie has eyes as red as Lonnie Chisenhall's injured eye after a long Friday night.

"Tag made by Orlando Cabrera. He was waiting for Reynolds. [...] Absolute perfect throw from Carlos Santana, and Orlando Cabrera sort of had to stay there in the crouch saying 'Any time you want to get here Reynolds, so I can tag you out.'"
- Tom Hamilton

Helpin' Out

Everybody's helpin' everybody!

First off, Fausto Carmona tried to help himself by getting a hit in the second inning. Except first base was so. far. away. leading to a catastrophic failure of his legs to carry him across the base and falling over like ... well, like I probably would have done being overweight and not having played baseball in 20 years. It was all bad news and Fausto wasn't able to continue on and he left the game to be replaced by JOSH TOMLIN as a PINCH RUNNER!

Fausto did end up leaving us with some good news since he did technically get on base, and the batter after him, Michael Brantley, was all like "Slump? Rly?" and knocked everyone in with a 3-run blast to the Tribe bullpen.

The rest of the game was pretty much like the last time we faced Homer Bailey. We won that game 2-1 off a 2-run homer, albeit in the 7th inning. This time it was 3-1 off a 3-run homer in the 2nd.

Today guys were peppering hits all over the place for a total of 8, but there was only one walk and Bailey sent us packing with 10 strikeouts.

Orlando did continue to be hot, with 2 more hits, raising his average up to .263 which isn't much lower than Brantley's.

Unless there is some sort of miracle, I don't think Brantley's going to reach .300 by the break like I thought he would. Asdrubal looks promising, though!

Back to pitching.

After Tomlin came in to run for Carmona, Frank Hermann came in to pitch. Hermann hasn't seen work in 12 days. I think just yesterday someone mentioned he was our longest-sitting pitcher. But today was his big chance! We really haven't had a need for any sort of long relief, but if there is going to be some long relief, bring out the Harvard Heat [The Professor] [The Pride of Harvard]! Anything less would be uncivilized.

Hermann did great, going 3 long innings and only giving up one hit and striking out two. No meltdowns, no craziness, just good long relief.

But it wasn't too long, because Manny started playing lefty-righty games and alternating pitchers every inning starting in the 6th.

Raffy Perez had a scoreless inning, then Joe Smith came in and LOADED THEM UP! And then shut them down! Heart stopper, Smith! Guess what his ERA is right now? Joe Smith's ERA is .99. Woah!

Tony Sipp got himself into a little jammy-jam, and gave up a homer to Votto, but his friend Chad Durbin made an unusual late-game appearance in the 8th and helped him out by getting the next two guys. Thanks, Chad Durbin!

Chris Perez is still out and we didn't need Josh Judy to come in (oddly enough his first and last appearance was against the Reds in May in Cleveland) and instead Vinne Pestano helped out by MOWING 'EM DOWN with 3 strikeouts in the 9th. Done and done! Overheard on Twitter: "My Closer Vinnie."

Ah, I bet there were big big hugs all around in that exhausted bullpen tonight! Actually, they were all Tweeting props to each other.

Tomorrow is our last interleague game before we can come home and sic Travis Hafner back on the world.

Tomorrow's game is Mitch Talbot versus Mike Leake and neither of them have been so hot lately. But our bats are hot and if they continue to be hot we should be ok. Game starts at 1:05 PM - see you there!

Radio Chatter:
"This is why having American League teams have to do this is idiotic. Having the pitchers bat, all that is going to happen is your pitcher gets hurt."
- Tom Hamilton DOES NOT LIKE when AL teams have to bat their pitcher

"In most years in the American league if you have an ERA under 4.0 you're leading the league."
- Tom Hamilton on the Indians' team ERA of 3.65

Snakes and Ladders

Wow man. I was really scared coming in to this game, I'm not going to lie. With the way we played over the weekend and the recent outings of their starter, I was really afraid we were going to completely blow it in front of my aunt & uncle, who are DBackers to the point of having a shrine room. And we'd fall further behind the Tigers in the standings.

I also worried that all of our barking for Lonnie Chisenhall to be brought up would be for naught as he struggled to get settled in the majors.

I was wrong, I was wrong and I was wrong!

We start with pitching, which was run-of-the-mill Talbot. Three runs on 3 hits, 2 walks and 2 strikeouts. Mitch was yanked after 5 innings and 71 pitches in favor of Travis Hafner batting with 2 on and 2 out, which I was not totally opposed to. Except he struck out. Although Talbot was looking great since he gave up 3 in the first inning, Hafner did have a better chance at getting more runs in than him. Plus, we had the whole #BullpenMafia looking to bust out.

And bust out they did. We got almost the entire gang - Smith, Sipp, Pestano, Raffy and Rage. The only one that had a little problem was Pestano who gave up two hits and a run. But, as Rick from Waiting For Next Year tweeted: "Can't even be mad at Pestano. First run he's given up since little league I think." Yeah, pretty much.

Raffy pitched to one guy and got the win, but it was a big strikeout, closing out Pestano's bad inning. Rage came in and gave up a hit, I think in order to allow himself to get the next 3 out or something, and then he got the save.

And now, the exciting story of our bats waking up!

First off, many thanks to Asdrubal for coming out of whatever funkety-funk he's been in lately (got down to .290. Can you believe it?!) and hitting a 2-run dinger at his first at-bat, surely to impress my aunt and uncle who were sitting in the stands behind him. He went 2 for 4 tonight, bringing his average back up to a respectable-for-Asdrubal .295.

Asdrubal's other hit was a double in the 6th, and he was driven in by none other than sometimes-Indian Travis Buck! Buck also had a lovely catch in the 9th to help out ol' C. Perez.

So - Lonnie Chisenhall! His first at-bat he flew out. Then everyone in Cleveland breathed a sigh of relief as little cousin started off the 5th with a double! Woohoo! Save the ball!

Wait, it gets better! Later on in the 6th he got his first RBI, which was the go-ahead RBI! So, hopefully he'll be back tomorrow. Sorry Adam Everett...

So then Pestano gives up the tying run and we're all tied yadda yadda Orlando Cabrera hits a home run.

Serious! I mean, we have seen him do well in clutch situations and we have seen him ho-hum us at the plate. It was more in the first few weeks of the season that we were wowed. They do say the dry heat is excellent for old folks. Whatever, it was a night for Dos Cabreras to go long and go long they did.

Orlando Cabrera won the game with a home run.

That's why we love baseball, folks - anything can happen!

I don't know if you read the box scores in the morning but check this nonsense out. This is slightly extreme but this is generally how National League box scores end up:

Can you even follow that? Yeesh.

So, I'm pretty happy. Going to go to bed happy. Going to look forward to tomorrow's game and everything, maybe get myself some more popsicles.

Don't forget, 9:40 PM tomorrow and Wednesday. The pitching matchup tomorrow is absolutely even, stats-wise. Can't wait to see what Lonnie Chisenhall has going on in his second game!

Radio Chatter:
"Travis Buck has racked up the frequent flyer miles going between home and Columbus."
- Tom Hamilton

"And how 'bout the kid?"
- Tom Hamilton on Lonnie Chisenhall

"My friend went golfing today, his tee-time was 2:30. Since nobody is outside golfing since it's so darned hot, it was $7 to tee off at 2:30 on a nice course!"
- Tom Hamilton can't believe how hot it is in Arizona

Gift Win

All right, don't ever say the 2011 Indians aren't nice guys. Because they totally just gave San Francisco a win.

They didn't earn it, that's for sure. They only earned one run! Our new favorite pitcher, Carlos Carrasco, only gave up one run in the form of a homer. He pitched a complete game, struck out 4 and walked none. He only had 6 hits in 8 innings.

But, he got a loss.

We were lookin' awful good at the top of the game, doing what we needed to do to score runs early. We had 2 runs in the 1st and 3 by the 4th, thanks to a heckova lot of walks by their starter who walked as many as he struck out (6) in 4.2 innings.

The Indians actually only had 2 hits tonight for our 3 runs.


One of those two hits was a real nice double for Santana, which got the first 2 runs in. In a SERIOUS turn of events, later on Santana would help give up 3 un-earned runs by committing 2 errors. Sad trombone.

Choo got hit on the hand and left the game, which totally sucks. He was replaced by Duncan. Nice to see Shelley Duncan back up with the team, but we needed Choo's current upswing. Duncan got pulled for Brantley in the 8th which was sort of shocking because Brantley is nursing a sore shoulder. You don't usually see Manny Acta forcing guys in before they're ready, but Brantley actually had a really long fly out so hopefully he is not that hurt.

Oh, shit. I am going to say the most un-positive thing you will ever hear on this blog. Shin-Soo Choo is out for 6 weeks with a broken thumb. In case you haven't been following along, Choo is out of his slump as of, oh, last week.

So, Brantley out for short time. LaPorta out for longer. Hafner out in the form of the missing DH position for 8 more games. Choo out for what seems like forever.

I think I'm going to have a little cry.

Ok, I'm back.


What we need here is more cowbell. More cowbell in the form of Shelley Duncan.

I also think they need to let Chris Perez bat, just for shits. Don't you want to see Perez bat? Against Wilson and his beard, too. That'd be awesome!

Hey, Lou Marson had a sweet caught-stealing in the 1st. The Twitterpeople say we're to call him "Laser Lou" now. Sweet Lou is already over, I guess.

Carrasco was really awesome again. Really.

This will make us all feel better. O'Hara's 6, starring the Bullpen Mafia. It's a play on Ocean's 11. I'm serious check it out!

Tomorrow we're on Fox 8, broadcast TV, at 4:05 PM. Your Google Calendar might say 7:10 PM like mine does. It's wrong. Not sure if I'll be catching the game tomorrow, but I'll try to get you something by the time we're on prime-time ESPN at 8 on Sunday. I hella would not mind spending my Sunday with a double-header of my own making.

Everyone say their prayers tonight, ok? You know what to pray for. Fighting!

Radio Chatter:
"Carrasco was outmatched from the moment he stepped in to the batter's box."
- Tom Hamilton on Carrasco's first at-bat

"Folks if you need to go do something, you can go do it now because [Carrasco] isn't going to help himself."
"He swung at one that was over his head last time I think."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus on Carrasco's second at-bat

"Yeah but when you're Kung-Fu Panda, you don't just throw to first to end a game you have to put a little style in it."
- Tom Hamilton admiring Pablo Sandoval's nickname

"If you're looking for Jimmy Hoffa you might want to look in Brian Wilson's beard. [...] How much shoe polish does it take to dye that thing jet black?"
"Who would have thought the Abe Lincoln look would be in vogue?"
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus on Giants pitcher Brian Wilson's beard

"He charged the slow chopper and did everything but kick it into the seats."
- Tom Hamilton on Santana's second error in the 6th inning

When Pronk is Pronky...

And Santana is Supernatural, and Asdrubal is Drooby, and Choo is Choosy, and Grady is Speedy and our pitchers are on their games...well that is 2011 Indians Baseball and that is what we had tonight.

It probably also helps when 38,548 fans + Carlos Baerga are in the stands.

Josh Tomlin has given up 6 runs in each of his last 3 starts. Tonight? One. It was a legit run, after a double. No errors, no homers. Followed up with an inning-ending double play. He went 6.2 innings and struck out 5. Those are the stats he was throwing up all through April and May, before those last 3 starts. You like?

Pestano comes in to face 4, strikes out 2 and grounds out 2. Our man Sipp shows up in the 9th (no Rage?) and faces 3... "And that's your ballgame, folks!" says Jim Rosenhaus, who is filling in for the vacationing Tom Hamilton.

But, we weren't worried about our #BullpenMafia.

We HAVE been worried about Carlos Santana, who got bumped down to 8th tonight. Perhaps the presence of some other big-hitting occasional first-baseman lit a fire under his ass or something, because he got a solo homer. And then a single and another single, that time for an RBI.

That other big-hitting occasional first-baseman I mentioned is Travis Hafner who was batting DH in the 4-spot today for the first time in a month. His first 2 at-bats were ground outs. Sigh. Then a walk. Whee? Then there was this in the 8th which was awesome and looked like a home run, if nothing else his swing was classic Pronk so you should totally watch it.That scored one, then Cord Phelps showed up to pinch run, and he scored so that was just awesome.

I will not fail to mention Asdrubal, who got a double early on, then got a single in that awesome 8th and came around to score.

Choo walked twice - nice! And had an assist at 2nd, which is his 10th assist this season (14 last season) and he's 2 ahead of all other outfielders right now.

Grady looked good walking in the 1-spot, and even better out in centerfield. I hear he made a great Grady-ish catch in the 9th but MLB.com doesn't feel it clip-worthy, so I'll just have to take Rosenhaus's word for it. (Update: They posted a clip as I was finishing up writing. It WAS a great catch!)

Hannahan switch from 3rd to 1st after LaPorta got hurt (sprained ankle, no break, so far so good) and he did all right there. Not sure why they didn't bring in Sweet Lou and put Santana at 1st...but I'm sure Manny knows.

So we seemed to have all of our pieces and parts tonight. Pitching, batting, fielding, Baerga. Is this all due to Pronk's return? I guess I don't care what it's due to. LOVE IT! So nice to see the huge crowd there, which I hope is duplicated all weekend.

Oh yeah and beating Pittsburgh? Priceless (to which Pittsburghians say "Youns still follow baseball?")

Tomorrow night is our new favorite starter, Carlos "Cookie" Carrasco against a guy who's "record continues to be deceiving because of a lack of run support and blown saves." Hmm...so, we can pitch like that. Can we beat that?

See you then!

Radio Chatter:
"The Indians as a team hitting .500 with the bases loaded."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"I called it the Yake. Yacobs field, that's how I remember it."
- Carlos Baerga

"He has my name so that is why he had to hit a home run today."
- Carlos Baerga on Carlos Santana's home run

"Michael Brantley...stay with it! He's hitting it as hard as he can but has nothing to show for it so far."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"I used to have to write in 'Mike Hegan' 300 times each season."
"I got 301 votes. Three-hundred from you and one from my wife."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Mike Hegan on All-Star voting

"Wood putting the drama back in to the intentional walk."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Tim Wood's sort of wild intentional balls

"All the ingredients that made this team so successful earlier in the season were on display tonight."
- Jim Rosenhaus

Oh, That Fausto...

Well tonight was different. Different than the last few (or dozen?) games in that we ended up doing some batting and did not hang the pitcher out to dry.

It was the same in that Fausto hung himself out to dry. But then something different did happen in that our bullpen came in and gave up a ton of runs and actually ended up losing the game for us more than Fausto had lost the game. I KNOW, RIGHT?!

Perhaps they were stupefied by their trip to the MLB Fan Cave today. You gotta read that article and watch that video. It's all sorts of goofy.

Almost everybody hit today. And when I say almost I mean everybody but two guys. But that is soooo much better than our other games of late, you know? For a while it's been ONLY two guys have hit!

Orlando is one of those guys who did not get a hit. He wasn't supposed to be in the game today - Travis Buck was, but he was in a taxi accident yesterday. NOT COOL, NEW YORK!

Orlando played 2nd and Cord Phelps was DH (what?) Phelps got his first major league hit tonight! His folks were there to see it, too. Bravo!

In my no-way-professional opinion, today's team that showed up was the team that we saw on April 1, who then went on to win like a million games. Fausto sucked and we got a bunch of hits and had a bunch of good at-bats and scored a bunch of runs.

Carlos Santana had himself a good night offensively, with two hits, one of them a two-run-dinger. He did however give up a run on an error. Whoops...

Ok, better yet, Matt LaPorta! Pretty stinky lately but tonight had 2 hits and 2 RBI!

Ooh, and there was Hannahan who not only got a double and two walks (I've learned that with Hannahan we "love the glove" and put up with his offense or lack thereof) but he also had a sweet stop that reminded me of my dog versus a moth.

Brantley and Asdrubal got hits today. Brantley even got an RBI. I am really glad about that because I had a really bad day at work. I told my co-worker that if Brantley and Asdrubal get shut out tonight, I just might cry.

Turns out I didn't have to cry. In fact, I quite enjoyed the game really. Of course it could have been better in many respects but it gives me hope.

Oh yeah, and there was an awesome fight. So awesome that the bullpen (see above) came trotting out AND MLB.com put a two clips up. That's pretty rare - they don't always like to highlight fighting.

Tomorrow's gonna be sweet...1PM game and it's on TV! One good thing about playing the Yankees, I guess. We are THIS close to beating those pinstriped jerkfaces. I hope tomorrow is it and I see it on TV.

Radio Chatter:
"The way Carmona is pitching right now he is helping all of the Yankees out of their slumps."
- Tom Hamilton

"Carmona just served one up and said 'see how hard you can hit it.'"
- Tom Hamilton on Granderson's homer

"I don't blame Teixiera for being angry. That is bush league to throw that high after a home run."
- Tom Hamilton on Carmona hitting Mark Teixiera after giving up a home run

"That may be the most useless news story ever."
- Tom Hamilton on a story Rosenhaus read about the official scorer wanting to make sure he scored Jeter's 3000th hit correctly

"I don't even know if I can read some of these other headlines in this paper."
"Well you can, but I'll have another partner tomorrow afternoon."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenaus on The Daily Post

"Rosie's wife Carol is pregnant with their second child, which is great news. [...] I thought it was pregnant women who liked ice cream and pickles, but Rosie is going through ice cream here nobody's business. [...] You went through that ice cream like Sherman went through Georgia."
- Tom Hamilton

"If people could see what you destroyed before we went on the air tonight..."
- Jim Rosenhaus to Tom Hamilton in defense of his ice cream

"Those customs people at the air port are like 'Look, I don't want this job, I don't want to be here, so you are going to be miserable too.' You say 'hi' and they look at you like 'what did you mean by that?'"
- Tom Hamilton on going through customs

"We just heard that the grounds crew has been spotted on Long Island. I guess they are heading to the Hamptons for the weekend."
- Tom Hamilton on the rainy 7th inning

"There's a guy in the stands here who looks exactly like President Obama. Since they put him up on the big board, that guy hasn't bought his own beer all night."
- Tom Hamilton

"That just shows how your bullpen is in disarray, when you have to go to Mariano Rivera when down by 6 in the 9th."
- Tom Hamilton

Cleveland, You Need A New Man

I watched the game at Applebee's tonight because it was trivia night for me. ALL of the channels were turned to the goddamn basketball game and the one directly above my head was the only one showing baseball.
You know what, Cleveland? You are starting to get a little stalker-ish with this LeBron thing. Like a jealous ex-girlfriend. "I just want to watch to see him LOSE!" and then he doesn't lose and you just get more angry. You need to find yourself a new man, Cleveland. Someone to take your mind off LeBron because He's Just Not That In To You.

Your new man could be Michael Brantley or Asdrubal Cabrera. They really want to hit .300 for you. Asdrubal, he was so angry that he did not get a hit for you tonight that he slammed his helmet to the ground on his last out. He just wants to make you happy!

Shin-Soo CHOOOOO! Mysterious and foreign. Talk about reliable! He's desperate to up his "wow factor" but in the meantime he is still hitting hitting hitting. Like tonight he got a hit for an 8-game hitting streak, one game shy of his previous hitting streak which ended at 9, nine games ago (so that's hits 17 out of the last 18 games). He's a bit of a happy drunk and he is not above asking for directions!


Carlos Santana wasn't sure how he felt about things this year. He just couldn't commit. But Manny Acta gave him The Talk and gave him pointers and now all of a sudden he's all into it. Eleven hits in the last 8 games after not getting a hit in the 8 games prior. He's also got 13 walks in the last 8 games so you know he knows how to take it slow.

Grady Sizemore. You've always liked him! A little out of your league looks-wise and he hasn't been around much this year, but he always brings you home a double or two when he comes back. Like tonight, he got one hit, and sure enough it was a double. He's got 14 now and he's only been to bat about 100 times. He's reliable, that one. When he's around.

Travis Buck, fresh out of California! He's so happy to be in Cleveland too, as Tom Hamilton will tell you about once a week. Buck hated Oakland so bad. He loves you and he really wants you to love him back. Do you see the way he throws himself around the outfield for you? He also puffs his chest and gets hits all the time, just like the other boys.

Orlando Cabrera. A little old for our tastes but remember how we all lusted after Lofton just a few short years ago? I mean yeah he does get around but he also has a winning smile. I bet your mom would like him.

Matt LaPorta. Strong silent type. He'll be the first to admit that he makes mistakes but then he'll make up for it tenfold like by getting 3 home runs and 5 RBI in the week after he struck out 4 times in a game.

Jack Hannahan. There's a reason they call him Supermanahan. He knows his way around both the stick and the glove. Holy crap that sounded dirty just there. Anyway, you like a guy who can protect your corner, right?


Shelley Duncan. He came to bat for you tonight. Did you see him swinging away? He wanted to win the game with one swing of the bat. We thought he could, too. All of us were up there believing he could do it. He didn't do it, but he's done it before. I don't know if he could be our every day man but he makes a good back door man.

Don't forget your pitchers, Cleveland. They want you too. I heard today that Carlos Carrasco said that seeing how the other guys were pitching put pressure on him to be better too. How sweet is that? Stepping up his game just for you, Cleveland!

And the bullpen. They come as a group, you know. The #BullpenMafia they call themselves. Some of those boys are growing beards perhaps to be more like Chris Perez who has a beard that actually doesn't scare me. Guys that grow beards are saving the environment, did you know that? Ron Swanson (and Budweiser) says so. Someone in the dugout was all extra beardy today, not sure who as I didn't have audio.

Anyway, look at all these fine men that are desperately vying for your attention, Cleveland. They are right next door being the best at their sport while you fritter away your time following a man who couldn't wait to dump your ass. Forget about that old man in Columbus, too. You are really, really becoming pathetic. Let yourself be loved!

See you tomorrow when we spread some more love for Cleveland against the Rangers again. Hopefully enough love to stay in FIRST PLACE IN ALL OF BASEBALL. Better than all of the baseball teams in Florida who have a combined winning percentage of .550 (ours is .611) They are playing for you, right here, in your town. Pay attention.

Oh, no radio chatter today. I actually listened to the first 90 minutes on the radio and there wasn't one bit to copy down. I think they were a bit on edge tonight because it wasn't apparent right off the bat which way this game would go. Maybe tomorrow they'll loosen up some.

...And We're Back!

I'm sorry boffins, I'm sorry I didn't get a post up in a timely manner. It's Memorial Day weekend and you know what that means. No, not so much honoring the brave men and women who have served in our armed forces as well as remembering those who have died, but rather being invited to places in which very little honoring is done but we all get together to eat because most of us don't have to work Monday.

It's ok though because I know you were all brave little boys and girls and took in Saturday's game without trepidation and were soundly rewarded by its outcome. I'm sure - SURE! - you felt some moments of the game where it would be appropriate to yell "That's typical!" only to stop yourself and say "no, no that sort of awful play is not typical at all." Perhaps also you spread the good news by correcting a nay-sayer who happened by your baseball on the way to the drink cooler. "Oh, haven't they lost three in a row?" "Why yes, but the World Series Tampa Bay Rays lost seven in a row during their World Series season. And, it's no big deal anyway as we are still atop the American League. Now why don't you come enjoy some baseball with me this fine Saturday afternoon?" That happened to you, too, right?

Ok maybe it didn't but however your day played out you might want to keep yourself "armed" with positivity for the long weekend as you encounter the nay-sayers. They are out there.

Yesterday's game was quite fun, especially to watch with a nay-sayer, because it started out with four straight hits and two runs.

You also got to see Asdrubal getting his THIRD triple of the season! Wowee! He's over .300 now at .303. It'd be awesome if he could keep it up through the ALL-STAR GAME.

And CHOOOOO he got his hit. .249!

LaPorta. Remember Matt LaPorta from Friday? Yeah well forget that guy and remember that he hit a solo homer Saturday as well as a single and a walk, going 2 for 3. These fellas aim to please, right?

SHELLEY DUCAN! Since Grady is serving as DH during our Turf Tour, Shelley isn't starting. However, he did come in as Mr. Amazing Pinch with the bases loaded and got a two run single then came around later to score. Can you imagine the glimmer excitement for Manny Acta when he sees the bases loaded and Shelley Duncan is on his bench? He's hitting .389 with runners in scoring position, .313 with two outs and .375 late in the game. Would you say that Duncan enjoys the pinch hitting aspect of the game? I would!

How about Carlos Carrasco, huh? You sort of forget about that guy since he's not Masterson or Tomlin or Fausto and he lost a few starts due to injury. He's pretty middle-of-the-pack for us but being the middle of this particular pack is nothing to laugh at. He got the job done Saturday with 6 innings, 2 runs and 4 strikeouts. A very even start for him and I look forward to seeing him do it again. Oh, and for his efforts he gets the W.

Our favorites Pestano and Sipp came in to combine for two total innings with zero runs and three strikeouts. #bullpenmafia!

R. Perez's part of the 9th was a little hairy. The Rays were going all Cleveland on us, finding ways to get guys on the bases. With two outs, bases loaded and the tying run on deck, Chris Perez came in to an actual save situation. It is iffy whether or not Perez is a shut-the-fuck-up sort of closer right now...he did give up a run. But right after he gave up a run - and I mean technically on the very same play - they got the third out and the game was over and Chris Perez had game 14. In case you missed it, here is how the game ended.

So we got our losses out during the week, and if you caught Saturday's game you'll know we got our basepath silliness out Saturday, so hopefully we'll be back to "normal" (do I have to qualify that with "2011 Normal"?) for the remainder of Turf Tour 2011.

Oh hey, here's two nice short articles about how Acta thinks Asdrubal is going to knock your socks off EVEN MORE coming up, and how Rays manager Joe Maddon thinks we're the shit.

Joe Maddon gets it, it seems. I wonder if he reads The Positive Tribe? From a different article:

"They have a lot of good players and they've done it in a very typical Cleveland way: quiet, and then all of a sudden they spring it on you," Maddon said. "When you really look at it, it's not really that surprising."

I know, right?!

Today's game is at 1:40 PM. You heard me. So we'll have 35 minutes extra to twiddle our thumbs and wait for baseball. Oh well, I have to make a casserole anyway.

Radio Chatter:
"With Joe Maddon, you could see anything. He's sometimes a mad scientist."
- Tom Hamilton

"We've lost Rosie. We'll get to him in the next inning. He's still convulsing over the cat."
"That's DJ Master Cat I think."
"You like that cat don't you? He'll probably be in our hotel lobby later. [...] The kitty has gone away now and this place has gone deafly silent."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus on the Ray's 7th inning entertainment

"The biggest play of this inning is the double play Ben Zobrist didn't turn."
- Tom Hamilton

"Avril Lavigne. Come on...as a man with two daughters you should know who this is."
"I'm just asking the question. Can't I invoke my fifth amendment rights? [...] As a father of daughters you might be better off not knowing."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Tom Hamilton on Tampa's post-game entertainment

"Oh boy...my wife was listening. 'Ha ha ha, Rosie got you.' Our engineer Ralph can vouch...nothing wrong with daughters, I love the daughters! When boys have a problem with friends they punch them in the nose and that's it. With daughters, it's a whole soap opera. Ralph's daughters are glaring at me now. I'm done... [...] And for all the girls out there listening, we love our daughters just as we love our sons. And that's the end of the story."
- Tom Hamilton

Battle of Ohio: Won

It's official - we're the best baseball team in Ohio for 2011. Right?

Another close game today. Great pitching by Josh Tomlin, going seven full innings only giving up one run. He got his 6th win today.

Did you see Vinnie Pestano come in and MOW 'EM DOWN?! Dude struck out the side in the 8th! He got as many strikeouts in one inning as Tomlin did in 7 innings. Our bullpen is really seriously impressive this year. All the boys are on Twitter now, in case you didn't know:

@thethree8 - Joe Smith
@jgerm39 - Justin Germano
@SippTony - Tony Sipp
@VinnieP52 - Vinnie Pestano
@ChadDurbin37 - Chad Durbin
@ChrisPerez54 - Chris Perez

@Raffyperez53 - Rafael Perez

Collectively, they are the #bullpenmafia. No joke! And, Chris Perez is so popular there is even a fake Chris Perez, @PureRage_Perez. It's funny to read these guys' stuff sometimes and remember that they are all young jocks in their 20's and uh...well I definitely am not.

Anyway, back to baseball. I'm all confused because I saw the game on television today with no radio. I had no idea that Josh Tomlin looks like a 16-year-old. I also spotted some major CLE Clothing and Homage representage today just behind the plate. I didn't scope any Fresh Brewed Tees but I'll give them a free shout-out while we're at it.

So, CHOOOOOO today on Choo Jersey day (those look pretty sharp! Aaaand....already one on eBay) extended his hitting streak to 8 games. He's hit in 11 of the last 12 games with 3 doubles and a triple. Slowly but surely....

Brantley and Asdrubal also got hits today, both of them hitting over .280 (note for newbies: A batting average of .300 is considered quite good). That's just amazing for our #1 and #2 hitters. And really, Choo's .242 is not bad at all. If they are all hitting in the same inning (which is usually their 3rd at-bat) then we're golden!

I bet someone has a stat on that.

So Asdrubal was on base with two out when Travis Buck came in and ripped one to center, putting us up 2-1. Buck was actually DH today because they've moved Brantley over to left and put last night's hero Ezequiel Carrera in at center.

I thought Carrera looked pretty good out there today. He called off Asdrubal on the first fly that came near him and also snagged a shallow fly hit off the end of the bat to save a hit.They also had him bunting at one at-bat!

So with Buck looking good at the plate and in the field, it'll be interesting to see how they are used in the upcoming lineups. Both bat left. I'm pretty sure Carrera is a total stud in the outfield but Buck has had two 3-hit games off the bench for us, getting hits in 9 out of 15 appearances.

Yeah, and some greasy assholes are still saying this team has no depth? Psssh.

Ok so tomorrow I will be AT the game so there will be no Radio Chatter. Cuz I'm not going to listen to the radio at the game (I'm hosting a group of friends!) and I'm not going to listen to the archive afterwards. I'm not! You know what you should do, tho? Make a nice pitcher of iced tea, set up your radio outside and enjoy the afternoon free of HDTV. Weed the garden, wash the car, play catch with your kids or your dog. Listen to the radio and you'll hear gems like the last three videos on the Tom Hamilton Has The Best Homerun Call In All Of Baseball Facebook page. I just listened to them all again for like the 5th time.

So, you listen to the game on the radio tomorrow. You hear ALL of the Radio Chatter. You'll thank me, you will.

1:05 PM start. Final game against the Reds. Bring your broom!

Radio Chatter:
"Josh Tomlin, folks - you spell his name 'winner.'"
- Tom Hamilton