Monday, October 3, 2011

The Best of Tom Hamilton 2011, Part 2

Here's all the Radio Chatter from the second half of the season. Once again, if you want to skip through to just the best of the best, look at the bolded entries.

Between the last post and this one, my blog got its 10,000th page view. Thanks all!

Two things I want to tell you before I sign off for the rest of the year:
- one, still keep an eye out for a best-of from Tom Hamilton has the Best Home Run call in all of Baseball
- two, apparently the Dugout Sports Show is going to be doing a 30-minute live podcast with Chris Perez every Monday and Wednesday at 6 PM. That sounds too good to be true but Twitter sez and who would lie on Twitter?

So, be on the lookout for those goodies to keep your baseball juices flowing during the offseason.

Now, on to the Hamilton! See you next season!

[Part 1]

Radio Chatter, July 15-September 28 2011
"It almost looks like one of those fake eyes you would see used in one of those horror movies."
- Tom Hamilton on Lonnie Chisenhall's injured eye

"Teams like the Orioles with a lot of veterans...they can go south in a hurry."
- Tom Hamilton on the sorry state of the Orioles

"Guthrie's been a different guy since that double play ball got him out of a jam in the 3rd."
- Tom Hamilton in the 5th, when the game was still close

"Hey, you're a starter and you go to the pen? That's a promotion on this club!"
- Chad Durbin via Mike Hegan on Masterson's relief pitching last friday

"That right there is why the Orioles don't win. First pitch swinging, you're an RBI guy, and you pop it up? It just can't happen."
- Tom Hamilton is disappointed in Nick Markakis

"There was  time when Joe Tate was saying 'Wham! With the right hand...' for Mark Hendrickson. He played for the Cleveland Cavaliers."
- Tom Hamilton

"I'm telling you folks - you can write it down if you're scoring with us. He is going to strike out for the third time tonight in one or two pitches. He can't touch Pestano's slider."
- Tom Hamilton on Mark Reynolds, two pitches before he struck out in the 8th

"When you left the Orioles ballpark in '97 did you ever think it would be like this today?"
- Jim Rosenhaus on the sorry state of the Orioles

"Indians lead 3-2 but I tell you what, it feels like it should be 8-2."
- Tom Hamilton by the 3rd inning

"...none of which can be aired, or Rosie loses his job."
- Tom Hamilton on Jim Rosenhaus's interview with former Indian Wayne Kirby

"It looks like you on Saturday morning."
- Tom Hamilton suggesting Rosie has eyes as red as Lonnie Chisenhall's injured eye after a long Friday night.

"Tag made by Orlando Cabrera. He was waiting for Reynolds. [...] Absolute perfect throw from Carlos Santana, and Orlando Cabrera sort of had to stay there in the crouch saying 'Any time you want to get here Reynolds, so I can tag you out.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"I think you're right, Rosie. I think you're right. I hate to say that..."
- Tom Hamilton begrudgingly thinks Jim Rosenhaus is right about the weather in Minnesota

"So far tonight we're seeing the Carrasco we saw in June."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"He's not hurting the club, that's for sure."
- Tom Hamilton on Chisenhall's performance at 3rd

"You'd have to be an idiot not to know how good the East is, when the Yankees and Boston are spending money faster than you can make it."
- Tom Hamilton

"I can't stop thinking of the Peter, Paul and Mary song 'Leaving on a Jet Plane' thinking about Simon..."
- Tom Hamilton on the Orioles' pitcher having to go back to the Dominican to face a manslaughter trial

"Joe Mauer is a once-in-a-lifetime find. Just because you're 6'5" and a catcher doesn't mean you're the next Joe Mauer."
- Tom Hamilton

"When the highlight of scoreboard-watching is the Kiss Cam, you know you're out of the race."
- Tom Hamilton

"You have problems if you can't figure out Mitch Atkins."
- Tom Hamilton

"Rosie if Mitch Atkins is around in time for you to do the play-by-play in the 4th inning, I'll be shocked."
- Tom Hamilton (Atkins lasted 3)

"I don't like the way this game is going. The Orioles keep hanging around."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you come to a game here folks, you ought to wear one of those hockey goalie masks if you're going to sit down below. You are so close, it's scary."
- Tom Hamilton on Target Field

"This is so typical in Minnesota. They do this all the time. The same play that Chisenhall got no hit and an error on, they give Nishioka a hit and an error. What a joke. It happens every year here."
- Tom Hamilton

"Where's Betsy Kling to explain all this to us? Besty would probably say 'Listen you two goofballs, it means it's hot.'"
- Tom Hamilton upon learning the heat index in Minneapolis is 107 degrees

"He could have gone to Columbus and been a pain in the you-know-where..."
- Tom Hamilton on David Huff being a good guy

"You can say one thing at 10:30 in the morning, and if you lose game 1 you might have a totally different mindset at 10:30 at night."
- Tom Hamilton on Ron Gardenhire

"On June 1 they were dead and buried. Or so everybody thought."
- Tom Hamilton on the Twins' record this year

"They have had to use their AAA Club liberally this season."
- Jim Rosenhaus on our players going between the minors and majors

"I believe Carmona is on his third uniform of the night. He has sweated through two!"
- Jim Rosenhaus

"The one thing the Indians have over the Twins is the bullpen."
- Tom Hamilton

"The worst bullpen in baseball lives up to its billing."
- Tom Hamilton after the first reliever loaded the bases in the 7th

"Indians gave Marson the silent treatment when he returned to the dugout after his first home run of the year. They sat silent and stone-faced. Then they pummeled him."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Mariners may have a new edict, and that is 'quit trading with the Indians.'"
- Tom Hamilton on the acquisition of Carrera from Seattle

"At some point the Indians have got to make Liriano pay for all these walks!"
- Tom Hamilton in the 6th after 4 walks

"When the fans heard Matt Capps was coming out, they said 'Are you kidding me?'"
- Tom Hamilton on Matt Capps

"We don't have any money raised tonight, and we don't have any highlights either."
- Tom Hamilton in the post-game wrapup

"He is a good closer because he immediately puts a bad night behind him. You would not have known this morning that he had a bad save last night. Now, the bubble gum bucket knows he had a blown save..."
- Tom Hamilton on Chris Perez

"I get the feeling Rosie, before this day is done, this game is going to be won by offense."
- Tom Hamilton in the 4th inning

"Tomorrow you'll look and say 'Cabrera grounded out, what's the big deal?' That's one of the best at-bats Cabrera has had on this roadtrip."
- Tom Hamilton on Orlando's 10-pitch at-bat in the 4th

"You can hear the crowd saying 'No! No! Don't put him in!"
- Tom Hamilton re-using his Matt Capps repitoire

"In baseball if you have a player in an unfamiliar position, the ball will find him, and at critical times."
- Tom Hamilton on Valbuena missing a ball in the 8th

"Sandy Alomar said it best 'This game of baseball is for those who are humbled and those who are about to be humbled.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"Tell you what if you're a hitter you better not dig a hole out there tonight."
- Mike Hegan on Carrasco's control

"They could do a 5-6-3 double play right now and it'd be anything but around the horn."
- Jim Rosenhaus on the Indians' shift for Adam Dunn

"Always nice when the pitcher has concern for his infielders."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Hermann asking if Chisenhall was ok after a hard grounder

"This is what you get from Jackson. He could throw a no-hitter like he did in Tampa a year ago or he could walk 8 guys."
- Tom Hamilton on Chicago's starter

"Most people will tell you Chicago is the most under-performing team in the American League."
- Tom Hamilton

"Mother Nature has kind of taken the steam out of Ozzie Guillen. There hasn't been anything to rant about."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy this Indians ballclub is lucky Justin Masterson is one of the nicest guys you'll meet. Because he's one of the biggest and strongest. And he doesn't get frustrated easily."
- Tom Hamilton after Carrera's 2-run error

"This team is not playing like a team who is trying to win the division."
- Tom Hamilton

"I gotta believe that Manny Acta is going to be livid after this game."
- Tom Hamilton

"Tell you what - if you're a good student at Pepperdine, your concentration is off the charts."
"A few distractions out there?"
"The ocean is can figure out the rest! [...] There are a lot of kids who have gone to Pepperdine. They did very well in the 10 years at that school."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on Dan Haren's alma mater

"If you're going to beat the Angles, you're going to have to beat them 4-1, 2-1, 3-2. In otherwords, Carmona, Tomlin and Huff are going to have to be sharp."
- Tom Hamilton

"Everyone who's interested is interested in all of the people available."
- Tom Hamilton on pretty much everything we know about the trade deadline

"Well it was over the inside corner, but the coin came up tails so it was called a ball."
- Tom Hamilton is not amused by the home plate umpire

"These kids have probably never seen anybody who can throw this slow and still get you out."
- Mike Hegan on the 3 minor-league players facing Dan Haren

"How many time have you been watching an NFL game and wondered if a touchdown was scored, and the referee lifted one pinky to signal a touchdown?"
- Tom Hamilton

"The best thing for the Indians about Jared Weaver tonight is this is about to be pitch 90 for him."
- Tom Hamilton

"Eric Wedge has shaved his mustache to try to turn things around with this losing streak. If they lose tomorrow he might be as bald as a cucumber."
- Tom Hamilton on the Mariners

"Some people are chanting 'USA.' Somebody must have bought a brat[wurst]."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you're Jordan may have short-term memory loss but you may also have short term memory recall."
- Tom Hamilton after Angels reliever Walden seemed to be breaking down in the 9th for the second day in a row

"Basically the Indians have now bought Verizon Wireless, to save on the cell phone bill."
- Tom Hamilton on all of the phone work for trading

"The Indians still don't have a hit, folks. We're in the 6th inning."
- Tom Hamilton

"Welp, why should today be any different? The first two games have gone right down to the ninth inning. Looks like we're going that way again."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's getting harder and harder not to have Lou Marson catching."
- Tom Hamilton

"The media thinks that if Boston wants to trade for you, you should automatically go to Boston."
- Tom Hamilton on Hiroki Kuroda turning down Boston's offer

"Fukudome hasn't seen a fastball that slow since he was 12."
- Tom Hamilton

"You gotta make him throw you a strike. He doesn't want to, but you gotta make him."
- Mike Hegan on Royals pitcher Jeff Francis

"If Brantley, Cabrera and Hafner don't hit this team doesn't score any runs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Right now for the Indians every night Is a pitchers duel."
- Tom Hamilton on our lack of offense

"Treanor is up on his feet buying not sure If he knows he's in Cleveland."
- Tom Hamilton

"Let's hope this booth isn't bugged."
- Tom Hamilton after coming from a break, presumably after gossiping like girls with Hegan about pending trades

"That was a professional at bat."
- Tom Hamilton on Fukudome's sac fly to tie the game

"Ichiro Suzuki treats the base-on-balls like a virus."
- Tom Hamilton on the difference between Suzuki and Fukudome and their OBP

"Santana and Lou Marson have missed a double and a home run by a combined total of about 3 feet."
- Mike Hegan

"Fukudome made that play look easy, and it was anything but."
- Tom Hamilton on Fukudome's play in the 8th

"You couldn't have gone out and designed a better player to play in this park."
- Tom Hamilton on Adrian Gonzalez's batting prowess at Fenway

"You start swearing in Spanish, enough people in this country know Spanish for you to get in trouble. Now, Japanese, I'm not sure about that..."
- Tom Hamilton

"Daniel Bard, tonight, was not Superman."
- Tom Hamilton

"When you get the lead in the 8th inning you just have to find a way to win this game. You can't let this game slip away."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Red Sox do this to you [...] They foul off a lot of 2-strike pitches and get into your bullpen a lot earlier than other teams in the league."
- Tom Hamilton

"Manny Acta might feel that 5 innings - with the kind of jams he's worked out of - is more than enough tonight."
- Tom Hamilton on David Huff

"You're comparing apples and oranges when you compare Japanese baseball to the Major League."
- Tom Hamilton

"Jerry Davis [the umpire] said 'Look, I'm not the idiot who swung at a ball in the dirt, you are.'"
- Tom Hamilton on Youkilis being ejected

"If Crawford strikes out here, he's going to get booed soundly. [...] Of course if he gets a base hit, they'll elect him mayor."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy oh boy - with Gonzalez at the plate, not quite sure where Pedroia was going."
- Tom Hamilton on Pedroia getting picked off

"He forgot his pre-game plan against the knuckeballer was to hit from the left hand side."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Carlos Santana switching from a right-handed batting helmet to left-handed

"You are living a charmed life in this ballpark when you have 2 runners on in almost every inning."
- Tom Hamilton

"It used to be 'Jim Wisenhaus' when he was in Buffalo but now it's 'Rosenhaus' since he's in the big leagues."
- Tom Hamilton mocking the change in the pronounciation of Marco Scutaro's name when he left Cleveland

"Neil Diamond recorded that song when he had his own hair, and it's become a Fenway tradition."
- Tom Hamilton on "Sweet Caroline"

"You come to Fenway Park and you'd better not go into the 9th tied with the Red Sox coming to bat."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy you won't hear a much quieter Fenway park than you do now."
- Tom Hamilton in the 6th inning after we had 6 runs

"A 3-run lead in the first inning in this park means absolutely nothing."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy, Texas...they don't buy the fact that he hit homers in the last 4 games as they are awful shallow in the outfield."
- Tom Hamilton on Jason Kipnis

"That's just dumb baseball. Trying to steal third with 2 outs. I guess you have to live with that part of the package from Carlos Santana."
- Tom Hamilton

"Six to one Indians, and not to be paranoid, but Rosie it's only the 2nd inning."
"It's not paranoid if you've seen it before."
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus

"If you go jogging tomorrow at 4 o'clock, I'll buy you an ice cream cone."
- Tom Hamilton wants Rosie to prove he used to be a runner

"Welp, nobody is warming up so this is either a pep talk or a lecture. Doesn't look like a pep talk. It's a one-sided conversation and Manny Acta is not happy."
- Tom Hamilton on Acta's visit to Pestano in the 8th

"Josh Hamilton may have struck out three times tonight but he's still a lethal weapon."
- Tom Hamilton, before Hamilton got a 2-out single in the 9th

"Welp, nothing you can really say here."
- Tom Hamilton after the game is tied up in the 9th

"There are frustrating losses and there are heart-wrenching losses. I think tonight's game qualifies as the latter."
-Tom Hamilton

"If Brantley hits one down the right field line, he could walk to third."
- Tom Hamilton on the shift for Brantley

"Carmona throwing one of his best games of the year, when you consider where it's at and who it's against."
- Tom Hamilton

"This house of horrors continues to haunt the Indians."
- Tom Hamilton

"Kinsler can crawl home."
- Tom Hamilton on the length of Hamilton's sac fly in the 7th

"Wow what an inning!"
- Tom Hamilton in the top of 9th inning

"Every time you say 'That's the biggest win of the Indians' season' about a week later you're looking at one thinking 'uh-oh, THAT might be the biggest win' and that is what we might be looking at here tonight."
- Tom Hamilton

"This would be the understatement of the year, but I'll say it anyway. You can't lose this game tonight after you come back with a 4-run 9th to take the lead against Neftali Feliz. [...] If you don't, you really wonder what is going to happen to this ball club the rest of the way."
- Tom Hamilton in the 9th as Perez struggles

"Indians fans, you can breathe! The Indians have survived 7 to 5."
- Tom Hamilton after the last out

"No lead is ever safe at Fenway, and that's even more true in this ballpark."
- Tom Hamilton

"That had extra bases written all over it."
- Tom Hamilton on Asdrubal's smash to Hamilton in left

"You don't break up a battery that is throwing a shut-out."
- Tom Hamilton on why Marson did not come in to hit instead of LaPorta

"The way this road trip has gone, this game is far from over."
- Tom Hamilton in the bottom of the 8th

"It'll take a triple to score Cabrera."
- Tom Hamilton on the slowness of Miguel Cabrera

"When was the last time that happened? Maybe when he was at Old Dominion."
- Tom Hamilton on the idea of Verlander being due for a bad outing

"Boy you can't understate the importance of finding a way to win that game last night."
- Tom Hamilton

"Wow it's 9:45. At this time last night we were in a rain delay."
- Tom Hamilton

"That'll get Dave Krepop digging through the archives to find out what rookie last had a 5-hit games for the Indians."
- Tom Hamilton after Kipnis' 5th hit

"Jim Thome will become the 8th player in the game to hit 600 home runs. He'll be the 5th to do it legally."
- Tom Hamilton

"For Masterson it's deja vu. Once again working without any run support."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well would it be a Cleveland Indians game without the opportunity for a late-inning rally?"
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy it would be nice to have an uneventful evening."
- Tom Hamilton

"Seems like every time something big happens, Asdrubal is right in the middle isn't he?"
- Mike Hegan

"You put the ball in play Jim and many good things can happen."
- Mike Hegan

"Now if you don't have a good bullpen you have no chance of winning. And the Indians have one of the best in baseball."
- Tom Hamilton

"The guy who was touting the theater district in Chicago said 'Come to Chicago and you'll see bad baseball but there's great theater in the theater district.'"
- Tom Hamilton on the Chicago Tourism channel at the hotel

"Marson doesn't have enough fingers, Rosie. He needs to add one or two."
- Mike Hegan on Jiminez's number of pitches

"The White Sox have won 8 out of 10 games, so the Mouth that Roars has been silent lately. [...] Guillen is at his best when the White Sox are at their worst."
- Tom Hamilton

"I wonder...does anybody review these tapes of the umpires and say 'We've got to get some better umpires...'?"
- Tom Hamilton still does not like umpires

"This is one of those ballgames where a walk is literally as good as a base hit."
- Mike Hegan

"I wish they still had the scoreboards that showed the other scores from around the league all the time. Who cares about this game? Who cares about strikes and outs?"
- Tom Hamilton wants to know who's winning the Tigers/Twins game, dangit!

"Thank goodness for that, the Odor X. [...] Rosie is in the upper level up there and sometimes on warm summer days it gets a little gamey in here."
- Mike Hegan helping with the ad-libbing on the Dr. Scholl's commercials

"Twenty three thousand are stunned right now."
- Tom Hamilton after the Indians take a 4-1 lead in the 7th

"Adam Dunn runs like your grandmother. He's at second."
- Tom Hamilton

"Some guys at third base, look like everything's a fight. But not Hannahan!"
- Tom Hamilton

"This must be the most satisfying start of the season for Fausto Carmona."
- Tom Hamilton

"You get an 0-2 with Konerko and you might roll it up there and he will take a swing at it. He's not very discerning."
- Tom Hamilton

"Prohibition was more popular than Adam Dunn, here in Chicago."
- Tom Hamilton

"Ohman last worked in Tuesday night's game, which really is no big deal because everybody did."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"It's not like they're tearing the cover off the ball, but they've got a 2-run lead."
- Tom Hamilton

"Did you ever think we'd be sitting here today saying 'If Ubaldo Jiminez can throw as well as Masterson, the Indians would be in great shape'?"
- Tom Hamilton

"These days it's not a good idea to go to Chris Perez and say 'Hey how about that Hurricanes football program?'"
- Tom Hamilton

"A lot of guys who were out as long as Choo was would still be in the minor leagues working on their timing."
- Tom Hamilton

"Valbuena getting to that point with the Indians where he'll run out of opportunities pretty soon."
- Tom Hamilton

"You could sit in a chair and catch him. Put the glove down and there it is."
- Mike Hegan on Josh Tomlin's technique

"You want to keep the traffic down, if you're a pitcher, and Josh Tomlin does a great job at that."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"It's an understatement to say that Hafner needs to be a force the last 6 weeks of the year."
- Tom Hamilton

"...They're giving him an extra day's rest. Nobody in the Indians clubhouse complaining."
- Tom Hamilton on Justin Verlander

"The winner of this division will win because of how they pitch at the end of the year."
- Tom Hamilton

"Manny Acta calls for a pitching change, but the horse has left the barn."
- Tom Hamilton

"The key to this series, according to Manny Acta, is facing Cabrera with the bases empty."
- Tom Hamilton as Miguel Cabrera came to bat with Tigers at first and second

"You could tell the Tiger fans from the Kenny Chesney fans. There were boots and spurs and cowboy hats and Tiger uniforms. Kenny Chesney jerseys mingled with Al Kaline jerseys."
- Mike Hegan on the big events in Detroit tonight

"You just get the feeling Mike that this could be a high scoring game."
- Tom Hamilton in the 3rd

"When you play a big series like this's how both teams do after the series that makes a big difference."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you're going to lose, play well."
- Mike Hegan

"You can't win if the middle of the order is not producing."
- Tom Hamilton

"What a joke"
- Tom Hamilton's reaction to the benches being warned but Porcello not being ejected after throwing at Asdrubal

"Jiminez has taken the Indians out of this game in the blink of an eye."
- Tom Hamilton

"The natives here at Comerica park are getting restless."
- Mike Hegan after the Indians scored 5 to make it a 5-7 game

"That's a mile and a half away from home plate."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Victor Martinez's pop fly in 5th

"I wonder if Jim leyland feels this game slipping away?"
- Tom Hamilton

"This is a ballgame you've got to tie in order to win it."
- Mike Hegan

"It hit him in the back and Donald never been happier."
- Tom Hamilton after Jason Donald got hit on an 0-2 count

"Vargas either pitches extremely well or is very easy to hit."
- Tom Hamilton

"That's the beauty of baseball. Carerra is just .118 versus left handed pitchers. Was missing the curveball, made an adjustment and got the game-tying RBI."
- Tom Hamilton

"I can't tell you the plot of 'The Avengers' that they're filming in Cleveland, but there are some bomb scenes based on what we've heard."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"When you have a young team, you have the opportunity to have more guys miss games because of babies."
- Tom Hamilton

"...that's a high-school play."
- Tom Hamilton is disappointed in Zeke's baserunning error

"David Copperfield would have trouble getting out of this jam."
- Tom Hamilton on Perez's 9th inning jam

"Blake Beavan. He's 6'7", 240 pounds. I'll give you one guess as to where he's from."
- Tom Hamilton thinks they make 'em bigger in Texas

"This is one of those days where if you're a player you'd better have thick skin. The fans' barbs can be heard all around the park."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians are very smart, they didn't combine Puppy Palooza and Dollar Dog Night."
- Mike Hegan

"I don't wanna hear 'well, they're young players.' That's a high school play."
- Tom Hamilton is pissed that Zeke can't get a bunt down

"I always wonder how many cocktails mom and dad had when they decided to name their son Casper."
- Tom Hamilton

"He hasn't been as good as last year but nobody is lining up outside Manny Acta's door saying 'please put me in tomorrow.'"
- Tom Hamilton on facing Felix Hernandez tomorrow

"Just when you think this team is failing, they pull a Lazarus!"
- Tom Hamilton

"There are 4 sides to a baseball. Inside, outside, top and bottom. Well, really, it's a circle..."
"You're going to confuse people!"
- Mike Hegan trying to explain how to hit a baseball to Jim Rosenhaus

"This is the worst offense in the American League and they've sent 17 batters to the plate in the last 2 innings."
- Mike Hegan

"Mike this is one of those nights when the Indians look out of synch in various areas."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"Carl Willis out stalling for time and everybody in the park knows that."
- Tom Hamilton

"Yikes, that's a batting practice fastball."
- Tom Hamilton on a 79 MPH fastball

"Have you ever met a bartender who threw at 97 miles per hour?"
"Maybe at 3 AM."
"That was a good one..."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on comeback pitcher Tom Wilhelmsen

"If this continues, he'll have to work on a couple hours of sleep every day."
- Tom Hamilton on Choo's fantastic day, having had very little sleep after the birth of his daughter

"The Mariner PR people with a little extra time on their hands...Mike Carp had a 20 game hitting streak come to an end last night, equalling the longest hitting streak by a 'fishy' type last name. Tim Salmon and Kevin Bass each had 20 game hit streaks."
- Tom Hamilton

"Franklin Guitierez became an Indian when Milton Bradley learned that a cab ride from Kissimmee to Winterhaven would cost $57.60..."
- Tom Hamilton talks about the end of Milton Bradley's time as an Indian

"Kind of a cardinal rule in baseball that if you lose 17 in a row you're not going to stay in the playoff hunt."
- Tom Hamilton

"One bad week this time of the year is like the death penalty."
- Tom Hamilton

"Saying 'rookie' is redunant. Seattle has 12 rookies on this ballclub. Twelve!"
- Tom Hamilton

"It's just amazing how the Indians have become a MASH unit."
- Tom Hamilton on our injuries

"Strike 3 called on a fastball right down Euclid Avenue."
- Tom Hamilton

"I tell you what - Shelley Duncan and Jack Hannahan have really picked this ball club up."
- Mike Hegan

"We have seen what happens in one week's time...the opposite can happen too."
- Tom Hamilton's glimmer of hope

"Rosie why don't you go down to the Indians dugout and see what you can learn. There's nothing else going on. Be a part of the solution here!"
- Tom Hamilton wonders what the kerfuffle was in the 8th inning

"There are  a lot of similarities if you look at the Royals youngsters and the Indians lineup in the 90s."
- Tom Hamilton

"I thought we were getting Jim Thome not Denard Span."
- Mike Hegan on Thome's first ground out

"Those people probably sat down and thought 'we'll never get a foul ball up here.' That's about as far foul as you can hit a ball."
- Mike Hegan

"Man if Kenny Lofton was still playing...and Manny Rameriz hadn't gotten into all that trouble...bring those guys in and we could sell out the rest of the season!"
- Tom Hamilton

"You can't lose Grady Sizemore, Shin-Soo Choo, Jason Kipnis, Travis Hafner...and say 'Why can't this team score runs?'"
- Tom Hamilton

"Justin Verlander was human today, he gave up 4 runs."
- Tom Hamilton

"As always, Fausto working hard out there on the mound and it shows. As always, the perspiration dripping off that cap."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"Boy if the Indians didn't have bad luck they wouldn't have any at all."
- Tom Hamilton's take on the string of injuries

"You can't throw the ball better than Lou Marson."
- Tom Hamilton, amen

"They could hear the cheers in Toledo when Jim Thome cleared the 19 foot wall in left."
- Tom Hamilton

"They're not looking forward to tee times in October. They want to play."
- Tom Hamilton

"...he took the [LSU] Tigers to the College World Series. He worked the final two innings of relief against Texas when LSU won the championship. You do that, this isn't that big a deal."
- Tom Hamilton on KC pitcher Louis Coleman

"If this guy doesn't like veal parmesan then he's a Communist."
- Tom Hamilton on Johnny Giavotella

"I tell you what - Eric Hosmer has learned to cheat. He took that back foot and stepped...I don't think he was on that bag when he caught the ball."
- Mike Hegan

"Coleman hung a breaking ball and Asdrubal was ready."
- Mike Hegan

"The more you watch the Indians play the more you realize how much they miss Grady Sizemore."
- Tom Hamilton on a not-so-good play by Carrera

"There must not be a chiropractor in Minneapolis. Joe Mauer is out again with a stiff neck."
- Tom Hamilton

"Those folks looking at the box score in Topeka tomorrow will never know the difference."
- Mike Hegan on Jerad Head's sloppy first hit

"Alcides Escobar, to practice the long toss, starts at Brown Field the throws over here to first. He really is blessed isn't he?"
- Tom Hamilton on the Royals' shortstop

"They both have something in common, they have ... hand issues at second base. [...] They're offensive second basemen."
- Tom Hamilton on Rickie and Jemile Weeks

"I can imagine as a first baseman with so few errors, it must irk you when they say 'just stick him at first base.'"
- Tom Hamilton to Mike Hegan

"I think Hammy just raised his status. He was the subject of a game just now. But they didn't get it!"
"It was a piece of ham, a person who is ill and a one-ton weight. And a tom cat up top."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Mike Hegan discussing the between-innings "Classic Concentration" game (I got it right away, but the contestant didn't)

"If you're Trevor Cahill you're saying 'great, I probably pitched us out of this game.'"
- Tom Hamilton after Cahill gave up the 2-run HR to Santana

"The Indians finally have a game where they can take a deep breath and relax."
- Tom Hamilton, once the score was 6-1

"The day he gets fired, the media in Chicago will get together and cry their eyes out. He has given them such great copy over the years."
- Tom Hamilton on Ozzie Guillen

"He went to North Dakota State University, where they played 3 games every year in good weather."
- Tom Hamilton on A's pitcher Neil Wagner

"Juan Gonzalez...he always had an entourage. Many of those people are incarcerated now."
- Tom Hamilton

"If you're not going to bunt in that situation, you shouldn't be taking 2 or 3 bunt swings during batting practice."
"If Reggie Jackson can bunt, so can Brandon Allen."
- Mike Hegan and Tom Hamilton don't like Allen not having bunted in the 10th with runners on

"We're going to have to do a bunting clinic tomorrow. Brandon Allen is excused, since he never is allowed to bunt again."
- Tom Hamilton being meta in the 12th inning after Coco Crisp had a messy bunt attempt

"Frank Hermann is doing the job in long relief. Middle relief. Late relief. Whatever you want to call it, he's doing the job."
- Tom Hamilton

"The people are too tired to go after it. They just waved at each other and said 'It's yours.'"
- Tom Hamilton on fan foul ball apathy in the 16th

"My score sheet is just one page. I've now erased every Indians' first name and am keeping score along the side."
- Mike Hegan in the 17th inning

"I'll tell you what, Coco Crisp, the calendar says he's 31 but he runs like he's 21."
- Tom Hamilton

"Gio Gonzalez is the sort of guy you look at and say 'How in the world did he get traded so much?' But they were always big trades."
- Tom Hamilton

"The fan says she's ok...she gets an early start on some firewood for the fireplace this winter."
- Tom Hamilton describing a fan being hit by a bat

"Right now for Carmona, he can't buy a break."
- Tom Hamilton in the 7th after bases are loaded

"Well why should today be any different? The Indians have not done anything easily this year. [...] If the Indians were a little league team they'd be well under .500 this year. But because we play 7-8-9, they are in the hunt."
- Tom Hamilton

"While you would like to have Victor Martinez in the middle of your order, from an importance standpoint, would you rather have him right now or Justin Masterson and Nick Hagadone?"
- Tom Hamilton

"If the Indians were voting today, Gio Gonzalez would be on his way to Cooperstown."
- Tom Hamilton

"Tigers now beating White Sox 5 nothing in the 5th. So that game's over. With Justin Verlander on the hill...thanks for coming, Chicago."
- Tom Hamilton

"How neat would it be to see Jim Thome and Grady Sizemore in the same Indians lineup?"
- Tom Hamilton

"Another ball that should have been in his hip pocket."
- Tom Hamilton on Zeke missing a fly ball in the 6th

"You're down 3 runs with one out, you're not trying for a sacrifice. He was bunting for a hit and he didn't get it."
- Tom Hamilton on the scoring of Escobar's at-bat in the 7th

"Fouls it back our way...and into our booth. And we no longer have an engineer."
- Tom Hamilton

"There's a reason why The Wizard of Oz took place in Kansas. And these skies are part of that scene."
- Tom Hamilton on the weather

"Maybe the Indians can do something out of the Tigers' comeback book..."
- Tom Hamilton after Detroit came back to win after losing 8-1

"If you come to Kansas City and drop 2 out of 3, you're basically putting yourself in an impossible situation."
- Tom Hamilton

"You don't see this much - an intentional walk in the first inning. But it is September 4th and Indians are in must-win mode. Manny Acta is not going to let this kid spoil it for us."
- Tom Hamilton on the intentional walk of Hosmer

"He must feel like a kid on Christmas morning, getting a hit and an RBI in front of all his friends and family."
- Tom Hamilton on Head's first RBI

"It's as if somebody's got a voodoo doll and they keep sticking pins in it."
- Tom Hamilton on the exit of Hannahan

"If you're a hot Indians hitter right now, look out!"
- Jim Rosenhaus on the possible injury to Santana

"Well he does lead the team on visits from the trainer on the field this year."
- Tom Hamilton on the possible injury to Santana

"Football doesn't drive it - greed drives it. Absolute greed."
- Tom Hamilton on midwestern college football rivalries

"It's a very good thing that Bruce Chen has a very good curveball, because he won't be making it on the singing circuit."
- Tom Hamilton on the pitching-change appearance of Chen singing "Dancing Queen"

"Does the winner of the East look forward to facing Justin Verlander twice in a 7-game series?"
- Tom Hamilton

"Amazingly this kiddie-core has kept the Indians in the hunt. They're playing meaningful games in September."
- Tom Hamilton

"I guess everybody growing up in Venezuela is a short stop, huh?"
- Tom Hamilton on Miguel Cabrera's original position

"Ozzie Guillen said it best - 'I don't want to hear any complaining. We're getting paid a lot of money. Go play.'"
- Tom Hamilton

"The only thing good about this scenario? Miguel Cabrera has banged in to 23 double plays. Otherwise...there's nothing good about this scenario."
- Tom Hamilton on Smith loading the bases with Cabrera up in the 8th

"Boy he can hit a fastball a mile."
- Tom Hamilton on Shelley Duncan

"All that work to come back and, oh yeah, it's Verlander you're facing."
- Tom Hamilton welcomes back Trevor Crowe

"This just goes to show why I don't play poker. If I were a betting man, with these two pitching, what do you think the over/under would be? About five?"
- Mike Hegan on the inordinate number of runs in today's game

"That great start kept them in the race for basically 5 months."
- Tom Hamilton ruminating on the beginning of the season

"It's miserable out. Those people sitting way out in right field are going 'why did we come?'"
- Tom Hamilton

"You'd think the batters box was like the pitching mound..."
- Tom Hamilton wonders why they didn't put drying agent in the batter's box

"Welp, this is the kind of baseball you sometimes get in September..."
- Tom Hamilton

"I guess the White Sox are celebrating St. Patrick's Day in September today."
- Tom Hamilton on the White Sox green uniforms

"Jack Hannahan didn't open the door, he kicked it down."
- Tom Hamilton on Hannahan's entrance into the team this year

"this is a night when somebody in the marketing department ran out of ideas. [...] How much green beer was consumed at that meeting?"
- Tom Hamilton again on the green uniforms

"I wouldn't know what goes on at 3 in the morning, except for when I have to get a cab to go get Rosie."
- Tom Hamilton on having fun in Chicago late at night

"You're saying there are some things you miss about Winterhaven?"
"Well I miss the Super Wal-Mart, since Wal-Mart is one of our sponsors. I also miss driving down the street and seeing a denture maker on every corner, and a chiropractor across the street."
- Jim Rosenhaus and Tom Hamilton on the former Indians Spring Training site

"Alex Rios and Adam Dunn are the reasons the White Sox aren't doing better than they are right now."
- Tom Hamilton

"Here's Adam Dunn. He gets booed from the moment he sticks his head out of the dugout."
- Tom Hamilton

"I tell you one thing. If a strikeout was a vrirus the Indians team would be flat on it's back. It's not just one guy, everybody has it."
- Tom Hamilton

"If Adam Dunn strikes out here he might get into his car and never come back."
- Tom Hamilton, before Adam Dunn struck out

"Not very often are you playing major league games and basically guys are on rehab assignments. That usually happens in the minor leagues."
- Tom Hamilton

"I don't know what else they want from him. It's not his fault they're at where they're at."
- Tom Hamilton on Alexi Ramirez's frustrations with Chicago

"Ozzie Gullien doesn't even pat Will Ohman on the back. Just says 'gimme the ball.'"
- Tom Hamilton on the exit of the Chicago pitcher in the 6th

"A lot of the folks have departed. They're going downtown to have something to cheer about, hopefully joining a Bears tailgate party."
- Tom Hamilton in the 9th

"Beltrae turns bad hops into outs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Tony Romo probably doesn't want to go out to eat for a while. He is public enemy number one around here."
- Tom Hamilton

"September is a time to find out if some young kids are ready for the big leagues. Nick Hagadone is not."
- Tom Hamilton

"[The Rangers] absolutely own the Indians over the last 3 years."
- Tom Hamilton

"Duncan probably has some paint on the back of that jersey!"
- Tom Hamilton after Duncan's second wall-crashing catch

"David Huff isn't fooling anyone tonight. But [Duncan] is saving his bacon out there."
- Tom Hamilton

"Well it only got up to the mid-90s today and that's actually newsworthy."
- Tom Hamilton's comments on the weather

"Herb [Score] always said 'come to the ball park, you might see something you have never seen before' but I don't think he meant seeing a 23-pound cat owned by his engineer."
- Tom Hamilton

"If Carmona is complaining about the heat, you know it's hot."
- Tom Hamilton

"I know the ball travels well here and whatnot, Rosie...but Indians pitchers have made too many mistakes."
- Tom Hamilton

"Choo's season is done. [...] The Indians haven't said that, I have. I'm the new head of the medical staff here. You can address me as 'Dr. Hamilton' from now on."
- Tom Hamilton

"Indians not going quietly here tonight."
- Tom Hamilton

"I don't think anybody really knows what's wrong with Joe Mauer."
- Tom Hamilton

"Lots of Svenolis and Elkas here tonight. [...] They're not enjoying this."
- Tom Hamilton impressed with the size of the crowd

- Tom Hamilton on Asdrubal's slump

"A lot of people here are dressed like the movie 'Fargo'. A lot of blankets, a lot of Elmer Fudd hats."
- Tom Hamilton

"When a slider pitcher has it going well, hitters hate that. A bad day at the office for them."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"That one was a possibility for another Cabrera highlight reel but Kipnis couldn't get it done."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"You can always make room for Chewbacca!"
- Tom Hamilton on the upcoming Star Wars night

"When your wife is this close to [giving birth] it's not good to be on an 11-day road trip. And you don't tell her how nice the resort is."
- Tom Hamilton to Jim Rosenhaus

"DROPPED by the ball boy! This sums up the Twins' season, another error. Come on! He's looking at his glove - they always do."
- Tom Hamilton

"Manny Acta loves the fact that Kipnis swings the bat with power, the other way."
- Tom Hamilton

"Good lord, it's ugly out here. Can't believe these folks are sitting through this."
- Tom Hamilton on the cold, rainy day

"This is going to be a 5-out inning, the way the Indians have kicked the ball around."
- Tom Hamilton at the end of the 6th inning

"The play today has matched the weather - sloppy."
- Tom Hamilton

"Boy is he unhappy with himself. Kipnis had a pitch that he knew he could hit to Bloomington."
- Tom Hamilton on Kipnis' at-bat in the 7th

"A hearty group of fans has stuck it out. They wanted an open-air stadium, now they have it."
- Tom Hamilton

"Here the Indians are trying to give up an out to advance a runner and the Twins pitcher isn't able to throw a strike."
- Tom Hamilton on Marson trying to bunt in the 8th

"What you hope is that nobody is at today's game seeing a major league game for the first time in their life - and they never come back."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's almost as if Mike Everett has said 'We're going to make this strike zone juuuust a bit bigger.'"
- Tom Hamilton thinks the umpire is tired of this game

"If you're gonna miss, miss off the plate not on the plate."
- Mike Hegan gives sage advice

"The guy's as big as Paul Bunyan."
- Tom Hamilton on Adam Dunn

"You ask the man on the street who Juan Pierre is, they might say he's a French chef. Our owns an ice cream company."
- Mike Hegan remembering the sponsors

"This isn't like the NBA where all you have to do is be a mediocre ball club and get into the playoffs."
- Tom Hamilton

"Joe Smith showed some hops!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Well, since we believe in Santa Claus...couldn't he deliver Michael Cuddyer?"
- Tom Hamilton's Christmas list

"They keep talking about Flowers and what a show he puts on during batting practice, but 5:05 is very different from 7:05."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's audition time!"
- Mike Hegan on rookie pitchers in September

"Ozzie Guillen is a killjoy tonight."
- Jim Rosenhaus on the intentional walk of Thome

"The young kids, for them, they have been in awe since Thome got here."
- Tom Hamilton

"He looks like he's chopped some wood in his past."
- Mike Hegan on Jason Kipnis

"It's a good problem for Manny Acta to have - 4 good players for 3 infield positions."
- Jim Rosenhaus on Jason Donald's new role

"Hey may have hit that as high as he did far!"
- Tom Hamilton on Hafner's homer

"Lou Marson put down 5 fingers, which is something I've never seen a catcher have to do."
- Mike Hegan on Jiminez's immense repertoire

"You haven't had that good a year, Alex. No one's trying to hit you."
- Tom Hamilton tells Alex Rios to stop bending out of the way of strikes

"Hope you're enjoying the ambiance of a screechy in-house PA system. Just wanted to give you the ambiance of the ballpark."
- Tom Hamilton

"Humber is the pure definition of a 6-inning guy."
- Tom Hamilton in the 6th, before we scored our 5-6-7 runs off Humber in the 6th and 7th

"You know what Ron Washington would say to that? 'That's the way baseball go.'"
- Jim Rosenhaus on the possible insanity that is the AL Wildcard

"It's an infield convention."
- Tom Hamilton in the 8th when there was a high pop-up above the pitcher's mound. Asdrubal took care of it.

"If the Mariners ever make another trade with the Indians, it may be after we're dead and gone."
- Tom Hamilton

"There was no drama when the month began for the Major League Baseball playoff races. None!"
- Tom Hamilton

"Any time you've got a shortstop with 25 homers and 90 RBI, look around and see how many shortstops there are that can do that."
- Tom Hamilton

"Sunday's game set baseball back about 20 years. There were 6 errors in that game."
- Tom Hamilton on the Indians/Twins game last Sunday

"When you start mentioning Lou Boudreau and Asdrubal Cabrera in the same sentence you know you've had a good year."
- Tom Hamilton

"The key to success for a good pitcher is to be able to go to the mound when you don't have your best stuff and take care of business."
- Mike Hegan

"And why wouldn't he get an infield single? On tonight of all nights!"
- Jim Rosenhaus on Thome's single in the 5th

"We thought this would be a pitcher's duel but both teams came out swinging the bats."
- Tom Hamilton

"Good LORD, what are the Indians doing there?"
- Tom Hamilton questions Zeke throwing home instead of his cutoff man

"Tosoni went in like a running back trying to run over a linebacker."
"This is fall and I know it's Friday night but the football game is down the road."
"Tosoni did what he was supposed to do and Marson didn't budge."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on our second out at the plate

"For Asdrubal Cabrera, trying to get a hit off Pavano is like trying to swim across the Atlantic ocean and reach land."
"Pavano knows Asdrubal is not going to get a hit and Asdrubal knows he is not going to get a hit."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan

"There are a couple of generations of fans who think the elbow is named after Tommy John. [...] Those of us in broadcasting are relived that Jarrod Saltalamachia  wasn't the first to have that surgery."
- Tom Hamilton

"It was over the outside corner but that's not a strike tonight. Al Porter is not Umping tomorrow so he doesn't care that it's a day nighter."
- Tom Hamilton

"We all know how good the 90s teams were, but they never hit wall-scraping home runs. There was never any doubt about it."
- Tom Hamilton

"Those two schools could play marbles and pack the house."
- Tom Hamilton on OSU and Michigan

"When you break in with Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle, I guess that is a sign you're going to have a heck of a run in baseball.
- Tom Hamilton on Mike Hegan's career

"I think when Kirk Gibson tells you to do something, you do it."
- Mike Hegan

"Right now Liriano's body language would tell you he would like to be anywhere but the mound."
- Tom Hamilton just before we scored 6 off Liriano

"That's the thing about Matt LaPorta. He shows those signs every once in a while where you go 'wow.'"
- Mike Hegan

"Ron Gardenhier heading to the mound to choke Liriano."
- Tom Hamilton

"Carlos Santana is looking for a 96-mile-per-hour fastball that he can send out to the Bob Feller statue."
- Tom Hamilton on Santana's at-bat in the 6-run 6th

"GOT HIM! Or no...I guess not."
"You trying to get out of here?"
"Four-thirty mass at the cathedral."
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan on Hamilton's missed call in the 8th

"Ron Gaedenhire looks like he has managed 330 games this year."
"With all of those injuries, he may have written 330 lineups"
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus

"Now you see why the twins have lost 97 games this season. That was a high school mistake."
- Tom Hamilton on Revere running to 3rd and getting tagged out on a ball hit to the shortstop

"When is this season over?"
- Jim Rosenhaus has had enough of Tom Hamilton's abuse

"That would be like me getting a bowl of ice cream then ushering the ice cream using the same spoon."
- Tom Hamilton on the prospect of sharing a score card with Jim Rosenhaus

"If you expect me to comment on this ball game so far you got another thing coming."
- Mike Hegan upon returning to the booth from his family suite in the 6th

"Tell these people at this ballpark tonight that this game isn't important."
- Tom Hamilton likes the crowd's electricity

"This is why Ron Gardenhire can't manage a winning team. There is no one in his bullpen that he can trust."
- Tom Hamilton after the Twins' bullpen gave up 5 runs

"Shelley Duncan knows he should have caught that ball."
"Everybody in the ballpark knows."
- Mike Hegan and Tom Hamilton on Duncan's missed ball in the first

"You aren't going to tell me that Jim Thome is going to come in and pinch run for Travis Hafner are you?"
"That would surprise everyone. Jimmy would be surprised too!"
- Mike Hegan and Tom Hamilton on Acta's "surprise"

"Lou Marson's gonna say 'What do I have to do to get a base hit?'"
- Mike Hegan says bloop hits and line drive outs do not even out

"Just another day in the office for Duncan in September. He's 2 for 2 with a home run and 2 RBI."
- Jim Rosenhaus

"Oh for the love of Pete...ball two! Here comes Tim Belcher. I bet Belcher is hoping the home plate umpire comes out there. This is absurd..."
"And the home plate umpire isn't going."
"He knows better."
"He's telling Perez 'as soon as he gets to the dirt area, tell me and I'm going to turn around.'"
- Tom Hamilton and Mike Hegan (and Tim Belcher) are not impressed with the young ump behind the plate

"Oh please don't let it end with me getting hit..."
"If it does, do you want those golf balls?"
- Mike Hegan and Tom Hamilton on a foul ball hit in to the booth

"This is a situation where the heart rules the head."
- Mike Hegan on the display of Thome in the 8th

"That's the one downfall of this Detroit lineup. They can't run worth a lick."
- Tom Hamilton

"With Avila and the 3 guys on base...if they were on a relay team...that race would take 2 days."
- Tom Hamilton

"Last outing for the year for Jiminez is...not a good one."
- Tom Hamilton

"Welp, Corey Kluber, making friends early here in Motown."
- Tom Hamilton after Kluber hit Miguel Cabrera

"This is men against boys."
- Tom Hamilton on Doug Fister

"Right now the Indians feel like the Christians did in the Roman coliseum. They are getting devoured right now by the Tigers."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians have NO...absolutely NO answer for Miguel Cabrera."
- Tom Hamilton

"Right now, Bob Feller in his heyday might have problems with this Tiger lineup the way they're hitting."
- Tom Hamilton

"That is a home run in any other park in all of baseball. American League, National League...that was 420 feet!"
- Mike Hegan on Santana's long fly out in the 4th

"Thirty-one thousand sitting back wishing tomorrow were Friday and the Tigers were at home."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians ought to seriously consider walking him every time. Even if the bases are loaded."
- Tom Hamilton after Miguel Cabrera's homer in the 6th

"If you think the players were hooting and hollering you should have seen the wives. They were hooting and hollering from Saks."
- Tom Hamilton on the Indians watching the White Sox lose this afternoon and the $10,000 2nd-place bonus they all recieved

"If there were 81 home games, I had 81 pieces of carrot cake every year at the ballpark."
- Mike Hegan is enjoying some carrot cake and reminiscing about the old dessert cart

"That's what common sense would say, which is why it hasn't happened."
- Tom Hamilton agrees that the last games of the year should be day games

"Boy...the Tigers are relentless."
- Tom Hamilton in the 7th

"There is life outside New York and Boston. Those folks just don't know it."
- Tom Hamilton on a Detroit/Milwaukee World Series

"I think right now if the Indians played the Tigers a hundred more times they might not beat them again."
- Tom Hamilton