Not a Picasso, but Still Priceless

Are you pumped yet?! Three games into the season and the pitching staff is already DOMINATING, threatening stuff like no-hitters every night and racking up the strikeouts. The offense has four homers, three doubles and a triple. No errors. Is your mind BLOWN?!

The Tribe didn't completely dominate Houston, like you would expect any team to do. But you gotta hand it to Houston - that Keuchel guy and Altuve are both the Real Deal.

Trevor Bauer was our man on the hill today. Since the kid is so tightly wound, it took him a few innings to stop working so hard and settle into just making outs. He had 81 pitches by the end of the 4th. Still no hits and no runs, but 4 walks. In the 5th and 6th he was cruising, and he left the game after 6 with a career-high ELEVEN strikeouts and no hits. Looks like they've tamed the Bauer Tiger, don't you think? Arizona was happy to get rid of him because his crazy mindset couldn't be zoned in to a Real MLB Pitcher. But the Indians know Crazy, so it was nothing for them to put him straight. And here he is, winning games and taking names!

The Boy Pitcher Kyle Crockett came in for the 7th. Remember him?

Yeah after a partial season with the Tribe last year he's totally in the bullpen for real now! Anyway Crockett had It in him today, as did all the men who came before him, and he smoked the 7th inning with just one walk and two strikeouts.

Next was Scott Atchison - 16 years Crockett's senior - who also faced 4 batters and added one more to the K count (16 in all). Once that was over, everyone was like "OMG WE CAN'T NOT SAY IT ANYMORE! NO HITTER!" It's been 34 years since the Tribe has had a no-hitter. Seriously? The last one was Barker's perfect game in 1981.

Kluber came a little close yesterday but the Tribe as a team came even closer today. Nobody but nobody wanted to see Nick Hagadone in there for the 9th - and you can bet especially Nick Hagadone didn't want to see it - but there he was. Indians Twitter collectively counted to "One!" when there was one out. But there was no "Two!" as Hagadone gave up a homer to the next batter. LULZ

Terry Francona was having none of it tho. He was like "I'm here to win games from now to October, not fuck around with my bullpen to get you guys free Domino-nos pizza." (Hugely paraphrased) He's right. He's always right. Trust in Tito.

A ninth-inning homer didn't matter one skosh, anyway, because our bats finally woke up! In fact, as a consolation prize for missing the free Domino's we get 50% off Papa John's. Tribe5 - don't forget!

Bourn is back! He got two hits today, doubling up his total from yesterday and hitting like a lead-off man should. I don't know why people hate him so much. Is it just because he has a tendency to get hurt? Because everyone on our team seems to be hurt all the time (SEE: Michael Brantley) and we don't count them out. Bourn is at least good when he is in! Unlike some charlatans who are like "oh I'll just play on two bad knees, even if it means I'm awful. At least I try, right?" Bourn is just all right with me and I think we all need to love him!

People are diggin' Jose Ramirez in the two-hole, but I dunno if he is going to be hitting for power maybe he needs to move on down the line! JoRa went 2 for 4 today with a walk and a solo homer. Nice! Also they seem to think he's the second coming of Omar. I think he's great, no doubt, but I honestly am saddened by the complete disregard for Asdrubal's amazing years. I am almost wondering if Asdrubal had a crappy personality or something, which is why Tom Hamilton gives him zero respect now that he's gone. But, whatever - JoRa is our man with the moves now!

Who was ready for the big return of Jason Kipnis? Me me me!!! But with trepidation, right? Because how many times have we heard that guys are "back" from injuries but never quite the same? It feels like a crapshoot as a fan! But you KNOW we can trust in Kipnis, and the JK Kid is not disappointing! Today he had a darn TRIPLE, as well as an RBI single to go 2 for 4. And he's batting .333. Brantley numbers, yo!

Carlos Santana didn't follow up his birthday homer with any homers today, or even hits. But he used his good eye and got on base via two walks. I also heard a snippet of him saying something extremely wise - Houston is a good home-run park and that kind of sucks because when you get to the plate you just try to hit home runs. He's smarter than the average bear!

Oh Brandon Moss...some day you will come around and be the Brandon Moss we paid for. Any minute now. Aaaaaaany minute...

Did you see Yan Gomes' awesome play at the plate? He got a double in the 2nd inning and then came around to score on a single to right. He was pretty much a dead duck by the time he was 50 feet down the third-base line, but he faked to the right then swerved to the left and TOTALLY got around catcher Hank Conger! Conger is a bit of a boob and Yan Gomes is The World's Best Catcher so it makes me wonder how far in advance Yan planned that one. He was probably on second watching ol' Hank fumble around back there thinking "that guy won't be hard to cross up." He was right!

David Murphy got a hit today, as was expected of him. Nothing came of it, though. Same for Lonnie Chisenhall, who was also real-error- and virtual-error-free today!

Roberto Perez was the catcher today and he went 2 for 4 with a homer and 2 RBI. How awesome is it when your BACKUP catcher is so awesome? We had this "problem" with Santana and Gomes and now look what we have with them. It'll be interesting to see how much they use Perez since Gomes is so amazing as a catcher. Also interesting to see if the kid can keep it up when coming off the bench. Excited to watch it unfold!

Tomorrow is the HOME OPENER! YAAAAY! I think the home opener is a weird thing because the whole city is abuzz about it, and the game gets sold out, and then 2 weeks later you can't even find a Tribe game on at a bar anywhere. Kind of like how Christmas is a big deal for everyone but the other 364 days a year everyone's an atheist.

But, whatever. I have at least one friend who's going. I hope he sends me pics! And of course the game will be on WKYC - it may possibly be the last game I see on TV this year (I don't see any other games scheduled for WKYC yet). Plus I get off work early (I'm the boss so I set the rules!) and who doesn't love that??

The Tribe will be facing off with the Tigers at 4:10 (festivities start at 3, though). Zach McAllister will go against a RHP (whew!) This team has always been dynamite at home so I expect BIG things tomorrow. Can't WAIT!!

See you there!

Radio Chatter:
"This is shades of your 12-year-old Little League game. The pitcher and catcher are the only guys involved."
- Tom Hamilton on Bauer's first inning

"if it was Pitt in the 1980s, they were cheating. The coach was Jackie Sherrill and he went to the bank in a mask."
- Tom Hamilton muses on the 1987 Bluebonnet Bowl in Houston

"Here comes Evan Gatiss, the human air-conditioning unit."
- Tom Hamilton

"It's not a Picasso but it's still priceless."
- Tom Hamilton on the "messy" pitching that still resulted in a 1-hitter

Welcome to Winning!

Carrasco's transformation last year was storybook. Cuz I'm sure we've all heard "stories" about how pitchers - or any player, really - starts doing bad and they promise to "work hard" and come back, better than ever. But no one ever does. They just take their millions and melt into obscurity.

Last year, Carrasco got seriously bad. And really it was all mental. So they put him in the bullpen and made him work for his starting spot. And they made him fix his head. I've heard Carrasco talk a few times this spring about how he is spending time in the bullpen watching how other guys (Kluber) pitch and trying to emulate them. Like, don't give up 4 runs just because you give up a double - that sort of zen you can learn from a Cy Young winner.

Anyway his comeback in 2014 was real, and it must have continued to impress because today he was signed on until 2020! Cleveland fans, can you even wrap your mind around the fact that we have TWO pitchers locked up, one of them being a Cy Young Award winner? And Michael Brantley. And Jason Kipnis. And Carlos Santana. Locked up, man! They will still be here next year, and the next and some of them even longer.

Everyone was super excited to see how our new purchase would look tonight. He didn't disappoint! In fact he did BETTER than Kluber, striking out 10 (Kluber: 7) and not giving up any runs. He only threw 88 pitches but he's not ready for a full slate just yet - he missed the end of Spring while on paternity leave. Carrasco's "game score" was a 76 to Kluber's 69.

Since Carrasco was out after 6 1/3, it was time to test out the bullpen. First up was good ol' Nick Hagadone who was haga-done (overplayed?) after two batters. A walk and a single. Next!

Secret weapon Marc Rzepczynski (copy-paste) showed everyone how it's done by throwing one pitch and getting a double play to end the inning. Scrabble-ca-dabra!

I guess everyone was worried about Bryan Shaw, because he had a shitty spring (16 hits and 12 runs in 8.2 innings. Damn, brah!) But how can you compare the dry heat of Arizona to the most humid city in America?? Shaw cut through that moisture with a knife and threw himself a 12-pitch inning with one walk, no hits and no runs. He's back, man!

Oh if you thought Carrasco and Shaw were impressive, wait til I tell you about Cody Allen! Dude threw 9 pitches for 3 outs and 2 strikeouts. Fast-fast-slow, fast-fast-slow, slow-slow-BALLGAME. Geez-o-pete, Cody Allen! If you are starting off like that I can't wait to see the rest of your season! Save #1 on the books.

The batters weren't as impressive as the pitchers, even though they were facing an old man RHP. But they still got the win and managed to go YARD twice!

Michael Bourn finally got a hit, in his final at-bat. He really impressed me after his return last season and he SUPER impressed me during the spring, so I am chompin' at the bit for him to start hitting regular-like. He did try to bunt today to get on base but it was slightly under-hit. Otherwise, he'd be making my heart jump with 2 hits instead of 1.

Jose Ramirez was batting second today. Michael Brantley is out with a sore back (NO!! N.O.) so they are messing with the lineup already. JoRa did nothing at the plate but he was fancy in the field.

Omg omg omg omg KIPNIS!! Two hits today, man!! He was shut out yesterday, and didn't have any sort of amazing spring, so it's a bit of a nail-biter to see how his season is going to go. Two hits is the bomb-diggity. Can't wait to see more!

Today was Carlos Santana's birthday, and dude ALWAYS seems to do well on his birthday. Weird thing, that! He didn't disappoint, and went YARD today to score the Tribe's first run of the season with a solo blast. Don't forget to follow him on Twitter - right after the game he was thanking fans for birthday wishes, being excited about the win and praising Tribe pitching:

Props to our pitchers tonight. How good was Carrasco wow !!! 💪@Indians
— Carlos Santana MLB (@TheRealSlamtana) April 9, 2015

Carlos Santana, while wearing bright blue-sequin Gucci shoes, said he tries to hit a HR on his birthday every year. And he usually does.
— Zack Meisel (@ZackMeisel) April 9, 2015

Moss, Gomes and Chisenhall had 5 strikeouts between them. Blerg. On a happy note - Lonnie had an error at third but it was not officially ruled an error so the Tribe remains error-free through two. Holla!

David Murphy, being that he is such a swell guy, got a hit because he is the designated hitter and it would be impolite not to. Tom Hamilton was saying how Murphy's dad was at the game and he is an even more swell guy.

Handsome Mike Aviles!!!!! How about that guy huh? Not only was he a trooper and played left field (he's really an infielder) but he got TWO hits - including a homer! What?? Aviles on track for big numbers this year maybe?? He is definitely breaking some Minor-League hearts right now with his amazing versatility and ability to bang hits off the bench. And randomly in the 9-hole to boot. What would we be without Handsome Mike?!

Lots of good stuff stirring today, ready to break out on to the surface at any time. Pitching has been scary good - like a dream almost! Bats just need to catch up and be where they are on paper. We know these guys got it in them!

Tomorrow is a 2:10 game so don't forget! It'll be the Boy Bauer versus an RHP. Funny thing the guy's name is Asher Wojciechowski which blows my mind because I have a friend with a crazy long Polish last name and she named her son Asher. So there exists not one Asher-Polishinski but TWO! God bless America!

See you there!

Radio Chatter:
"Chris Carter, who has the range of the Statue of Liberty, has a freak reach at first to rob Brandon Moss of a hit."
- Tom Hamilton

"I tell you what...Jose Ramirez is making you forget how hard some of these plays really are."
- Tom Hamilton


"For all you children who wonder what Santa Claus does in April...he is the official scorekeeper for the Houston Astros."
- Tom Hamilton on Rasmus getting a hit off an error

That Old Feelin'

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh. Opening Day! Ok, The Day After The Cubs Get Their Opening Day, or something. But Indians' Opening Day, nonetheless!

Indians Twitter was rearin' to go all day long. My switch flipped around 11 this morning and I kept tabbing through work, Tribe articles and stats, and Twitter. I even made a GIF and got favorited by the Tribe:

Me after 5 PM today.

I had to figure out where to sit. What to eat. How to deal with my dogs (the last 5 years I had a senior golden retriever. Now I have two teenage mutts who insist that I remain engaged with them!) Radio or TV or TV with the radio? (That.) Apparently I could have even chosen between STO and ESPN. I went with STO and WTAM.

After all that waiting and all that planning it was...a pitcher's duel! And of course being the first day there's a good chance you'll have that (unless you're the 2010 Indians vs. White Sox). So the name of the game became "What what Kluber do."

I know some people just laugh in the face of superstition but I swear - Kluber was pitching a no-hitter right up until the moment when Tom Hamilton remarked that Kluber was pitching a no-hitter and "Bob Feller is smiling down right now. Of course Feller is the only pitcher ever to throw a no-hitter on opening day." RIGHT then there was a hit. Now, do you believe in superstition?

It's funny though, because Hamilton always does that. He could give a crap about the superstition and is always the first to mention a no-hitter or perfect game. That guy!

So Klubes did go 7 1/3 today, striking out 7. He took a minute to heat up - no strikeouts until the 6th batter. But him and Keuchel were neck-and-neck throughout.

A new stat has popped up on the Box Score for the game - pitchers' Game Score.That is:

Game Score is a metric devised by Bill James to determine the strength of a pitcher in any particular baseball game. To determine a starting pitcher's game score:

•     Start with 50 points.
•     Add one point for each out recorded, so three points for every complete inning  pitched.
•     Add two points for each inning completed after the fourth.
•     Add one point for each strikeout.
•     Subtract two points for each hit allowed.
•     Subtract four points for each earned run allowed.
•     Subtract two points for each unearned run allowed.
•     Subtract one point for each walk.

Kluber's was 69, and Keuchel 72. The highest yet has been 105 and the max possible is 114. So uh...now you know. I wonder if this will come up anywhere but my blog?

Kluber did look good, though. Strong, focused, strike-y. It felt odd that the few hits he gave up really got away from him and he ended up losing the game 2-0.

No errors from the defense though! Starting off right!

Some guys who had great springs didn't start off so great (Bourn? Man, what happened??) but at least Lonnie Can! The Chiz Kid got the team's first hit of the season with a sharp one to left. He also got a walk, so he went 1for 2 on the day.

I'll give you una conjetura who got the one of the team's other walks....Si! Si! Carlos Santana, got himself on base. Like a boss! He also got a hit, as did Yan Gomes. Brandon Moss got the other walk.

It looked to me like there were a lot of cobwebs and dust to be shaken off during this game. Facing a pitcher as tight as Keuchel didn't help but we've got so many "veterans" right now compared to other seasons that you hate to see the first game go poorly. Especially against the Astros!

But tomorrow Wednesday is another game and we've got another pitcher to keep things locked down while our offense finds itself.

Taking the mount Wednesday at 8:10 is Carlos "Cookie" Carrasco who says he's been mimicking Kluber and apparently doing a good enough job of it to shoot up to second in the rotation. I am looking forward to seeing if he is as good as he thinks he is! He'll be going against an RHP, thank goodness. Our left-leaning lineup can get embarrassingly predictable at times. Get ready for some bats! See you there!

Radio Chatter:

"Luis Valbuena is batting third and somewhere Bruce Drennan's head is exploding."
- Tom Hamilton on the former Indian

"The only Brave that Jon Hart hasn't traded away is Chief Noc-a-homa."
- Tom Hamilton

"How nice. The Astros PR people have given Rosie and I Houston Astros' magnetic schedules."
"Gonna hang that on your fridge?"
- Tom Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus

"Off day tomorrow, for no earthly reason. Not with a retractable roof."
- Tom Hamilton

Masters Of Their Own Destiny

Dang, doesn't that sound dramatic?

It was kind of a dramatic game today, just in the fact that a fan got creamed with a foul ball and later on so did an umpire. The Tribe hit for the cycle as a team. It was a cloudy day but at times the sun beamed down. Yan Gomes threw out everyone on the Astros, I think. I ate frozen custard even though it was fall weather. The Browns won. The Rangers lost. My friend made me some spinach pie.

Oh man, look at how far Texas is behind us! And KC's win today was crucial because Monday we're off but Texas plays, which evens up the numbers and could have put Texas 0 games behind us.

Along with KC's win of course was our win - the 6th 4-game-series sweep of the year for the Tribe. If you haven't heard already, that was a first for the Tribe since 1954 and a first in the MLB since the 1961 Yankees did it (a Mantle/Maris joint).

Today they had Kluber out there on the mound. He wasn't pitch-perfect (ha!) but he was serious about his start. No quality start for him but I think Francona had no interest in letting a guy get length or whatever, and just wanted to start throwing bullpen arms out there. So Klube was out after 5 1/3 innings, 6 hits, 6 strikeouts and just 2 earned runs. Of course one of those runs was by Chris Carter who we have determined is other-worldly so one other run wasn't so bad.

After Kluber was Zep, Shaw, Allen, Albers, Rapada (??), CC Lee and Carlos Carrasco. I can't really say much about this other than it got some maintenance done and it took a long time. And it was cold out. I don't know if it's hard or easy for a bullpen to keep a team from scoring when every guy pitches an out or two then moves on. Well done, all.

It felt like everyone got a hit today - they did get 13 - but alas, Nick Swisher and Yan Gomes were both shut out. Never fear! Swish got a sac fly for an RBI and Gomes came in to score a run after he was hit by a pitch. He got hit YESTERDAY too, but it was in the arm. I worried his arm wouldn't be functioning as well today - which is maybe why he struck out 3 times - but he didn't skimp on the defense, picking off a dude at first and later on throwing out a would-be base stealer at second.

Hellz yeah, Yan Gomes!

Michael Bourn stayed on his hitting horse today and got himself a 2-RBI triple! He just kept running and running! He also got a walk, so he went 1 for 4.

Kipnis was really feeling the crowd today! Or something! The sleepy Kid woke up and found himself going 3 for 5 with a run scored!

Kipnis got his 34th double, Santana got his 34th double, plus his 19th HOMER!!! It was the last run scored in the game, and it came at a cool time - right when the Browns scored their last touchdown in their game. Neat!

Raburn almost didn't get a hit, which would have FREAKED ME OUT. But he did, in the 7th. Whew. And since he's Raburn, his pinch runner came in to score, too.

Asdrubal WALKED twice today. Walked! Did you know he's got less than half the number of walks that Swisher, Santana and Kipnis have? He doesn't walk much - which is why he's all slumpy this year because he strikes out instead. Anyway, he walked twice and got a hit, so he had the opportunity to score twice! Team player!

Michael Brantley was hitting 8th today. I don't know what's up with that for real, but my conjecture is when you've got a pretty good lineup you split them in to 2 groups of 4 or 5, and so you've got 2 cleanup hitters and stuff. I mean, who says the best guys gotta be 1-4?

Brantley is having NO problem with my challenge to him to hit-streak out the last 13 games. Today he tacked on 3 more hits and 2 more RBI. So smooth! He went 3 for 4 on the day...and he is ONLY hitting .280! Hmm, maybe my streak challenge will help him get up to .300 in the next 6 games. Maybe?

Mike Aviles is finally stringing some good games together! Yesterday he broke a hitless streak and today he followed it up with 2 more hits and 2 RBI! Good to see the leader of the Goon Squad keeping up with his own claims. That 3B spot was definitely a dent in our lineup - Aviles and Chiz have big swings of being good then nothing. So, keep it up for just 6 more, Handsome Mike!

Tomorrow is an off day - our final one until next Monday! Two at home against Chicago then 4 in Minnesota.

Tuesday it'll be Ubaldo versus LHP 3.53. The White Sox, man. It's ours!

Texas is playing Houston for 3 now. Hopefully we taught those boys a lesson or two on how to play good baseball, and they will show no mercy to those other guys from the Lone Star State. Shine on, Disastros!

Tuesday it is. See you there!

Radio Chatter:
"You wonder why anyone tries to run on him."
- Tom Hamilton on Yan Gomes

"The injuries for him would make a doctor at the Cleveland Clinic blush."
- Tom Hamilton

"Houston is acting like it's the first day of school. They haven't met each other so they're afraid to talk to each other."
- Tom Hamilton

"CB Bucknor thought about it and he said 'You know what? Why not?'"
- Tom Hamilton on Bucknor's strike out call

"Anyone who bets on the game of baseball, they've got some serious issues."
- Tom Hamilton on the unpredictability of Philip Humber, who previously had a perfect game

"'Guess' is the operative word today when it comes to balls and strikes."
- Tom Hamilton

"You may be able to stick a fork in the Baltimore Orioles."
- Tom Hamilton

Staying the Course

Aaaack! Everyone else won today (everyone else = TB and TX) so the standings stay the same. But the critical part of this is that the Tribe won today so the Tribe being in the Wild Card race stays the same too. Wahoo!

Those damn Royals, tho - they were all good when they played us but apparently not good enough to keep after those sliding Rangers. Step it up, KC!


Scott Kazmir did not stay the same - he got better! He's given up 26 runs in his last 52 innings (and that's 52 innings over 10 starts so less than 6 innings per start), but today not only did he give up NO runs, he also went 7 innings and as a little bit of a treat for the kids he also struck out 10! Way to dig deep for September, old man!

Cody Allen was chicken-licous today, throwing the 8th, striking out 2 with no hits and no runs. Joe Smith didn't fare as well, giving up a run. But that humongous first baseman Chris Carter got to him for a solo homer, but he also 2 hits off Kazmir too. So yeah, Carter is frustrating.

Speaking of frustrating, Michael Bourn had his stuff together today and started off the Tribe's offensive game with a double! Then since he raised so much excitement, Swisher hit a single and then Kipnis followed with a sac fly and the Indians were on the board in no time! Bourn ended up with TWO doubles on the day, as well as a walk.

Swisher and Kipnis didn't do anything else the rest of the game but hey, it was runs.

Swisher did, however, present fireworks after the game. And drew over 26,000 fans. So, that's cool.

Oh, well Swisher did come in to score after that single on Brantley's follow-up 2-run homer! Only his 9th of the year and it was a pretty big one, getting the Tribe over their 2-run hump and putting the 3rd run on the board - something new for this series!

Asdrubal was muy caliente hoy! He went 3 for 4 with a double, and also stole 3rd base. It was only his 9th of the season (and Brantley's 9th homer too....ooOoOoo....) which is why nobody suspected it. Super sad that he was stranded on base all 3 times though.

OMG the Astros almost broke Yan Gomes! In fact, I bet his cannon arm is pretty purple right now. They hit him with a pitch on his right forearm. Seriously, outside of the bullpen there is no more important body part on this team. I hope they send him home with a masseuses and round-the-clock ballboys with ice packs. That arm needs to be perfect from here on out! But he might sit out tomorrow and have Monday off, and be not purple but yellow on Tuesday. We'll see.

Oh, around all of that he went 2 for 3 with a double. Lonnie hit him in with a single to score the 4th run.

Still not the best and biggest game against these Astros. I've been expecting a lot more! But I do see that they are trying very hard and scrapping as much as they can to get the wins. I like to see those sac flies and stuff - means they are playing smart not just hard.

I'm going to the game tomorrow. I got super weird seats - Section 425 which is one of those front-of-the-upper-deck boxes, but its beneath 525 which isn't even on sale. So we'll be out there by ourselves! And it will be neat! (Actually we'll probably be hanging over the bullpen for a bit, I imagine. We like doing that!)

It'll be Kluber versus LHP 4.60. I have a feeling Kluber will be locked and loaded for this one. It's his turn to have a magnificent start!

Keep an eye on the scoreboard - we want KC to win against Texas to keep Texas out of our hair. Our total number of games will even up on Monday when we're off and Texas plays, so we need them to be losing to avoid extra playoff games. Boy howdy!

No Radio Chatter tonight. I was out at a restaurant, watching the Tribe on TV while I stuffed myself silly on various fried foods at The Local Tavern. Oh what a treat....and the food was good too!

It's Tribe Time...NOW!

Once again it wasn't a pretty win - they still couldn't get those runners home, even with the gift of 3 errors AND they only had to play 6 1/2 innings before the torrential downpour. But by the end of the day, there is this:

There you have it! What we've been waiting for all this time! It's definitely ours to lose. Gotta keep winning, winning, winning and maybe a few of those other jerks can keep losing and the 2013 MLB Playoffs are OURS!

Quick game tonight, due to rain. It was only 6 1/2 innings, which made it official. Exactly official, in fact - like the sky knew when it was ok to open up!

Zach McAllister was already replaced by then, twice. He only managed 5 innings and 76 pitches before it was time for backup. Zep took care of the first bit of the 6th then Shaw finished it up and took on the 7th. They did well, and even McAllister was doing all right with just 4 hits and 1 run. Maybe Francona's on a "if you got 'em, use 'em" tear with the bullpen?

The offense only managed 4 hits and their 2 runs - they won 2-1 - were both un-earned due to the aforementioned 3 errors. Asdrubal got on base again by sheer luck, just like last night!

Brantley's hitting streak stayed alive! He's on his way to tabling out the season!

Santana's hitting streak had already come to an end a couple days prior but he was back behind the plate tonight, and started on a new streak, no doubt.

Hey Raburn! Good to see you - and your hit!

Good ol' Mike Aviles. Handsome Mike. I tell you what - that kid left 4 men on again tonight. He's really been racking up the bodies. But you know what? He got his first hit in 20 at-bats and it was a double and there was no one else on but dangit - perhaps this is Aviles turning a corner?! Let's get this done, mi primo!

Hopefully the boys had a nice relaxing night playing GTA 5 before turning in early (they all sleep in bunk beds underneath center field, right?) and are totally fired up to beat these Astros to a pulp tomorrow! On Nick Swisher Fireworks Night! (And by "fired up" I mean sort of embarrassed that this stupid Houston team is holding them down so hard.)

Tomorrow is a 6:05 start - don't forget! It'll be Kazmir versus RHP 5.54. Are you kidding me?! There was 17k at the stadium tonight for Dollar Dog night. Let's see you break 25k tomorrow for fireworks and the Black Keys!

See you there!

Radio Chatter:
"If you think this is an adventure, wait til Sunday."
- Tom Hamilton on the umpiring crew (Sunday must be Bucknor behind the plate)

"When we board that plan for Minneapolis Wednesday night, nobody knows where that plane is going 4 days later."
- Tom Hamilton is getting excited

Who Is Matt Carson?

Matthew "Matt" Reese Carson (born July 1, 1981) is an American professional baseball outfielder for the Cleveland Indians of Major League Baseball. He is 6 feet 2 inches (1.88 m) and weighs 200 pounds (91 kg).

Prior to playing professionally, he attended Yucaipa High School and then Brigham Young University (BYU).

Carson joined the Tribe in spring training but went right to Columbus from Arizona. Carson is 32 and he's been in the minors since 2002,  except for 46 games with Oakland across 2009 and 2010, and 26 games in Minnesota last year. The Indians brought him up in September, along with bringing over Kubel from the D-Backs.

Matt Carson has appeared in 11 games now since September 1, with 8 at-bats and only one start. He has gotten 7 hits in his 8 at-bats, with 3 RBI. Tonight's hit and subsequent RBI were - as far as Cleveland's concerned - his most important of his career!!

Have a look:

How freaking awesome was that? On one hand, you don't expect some perpetual minor leaguer to be the one guy who can get a team of highly-paid professionals a win against the worst team in all of baseball...but, what ever! I will TAKE it! And I will praise Matt Carson! And I will look forward to seeing him through the rest of September and on through October!!!

I was at the game tonight. Veeeeeeerrrrry cool atmosphere! I was perched atop the bleachers, between a group of "dudes" and this old guy. The old guy (totally did not get his name) said he hadn't been to a game since 1995 when he won a playoff lottery. He heard on the radio that tickets were $10, and he doesn't have a computer so he came to the box office to get his ticket earlier that day. I had the radio in one ear but I had a nice time watching the game with him. He was excited - hooting and hollering and waving his arms along with me! He was really having a ball! And just because he hadn't been to a game in so long doesn't mean he wasn't up with the team - he knew his stuff.

Funny that the guy was there with me, really. My own grandpa (that's him at the right [during the 2013 season]) hadn't been to a game in that long either, and he passed away before I could convince him to come to another. And while this guy reminded me of a grandpa he didn't remind me of my grandpa. He actually reminded me of my best friend's grandpa! But it was still nice.

Also when I went to give him high 5's with my big paws, I honestly thought I was going to snap his hands right off his wrists.

Dude said he might come back for more games. How fun!!

Like I said, the crowd was awesome. Lots and lots of cheering and clapping - in all the right places! Not just clapping for clapping's sake, but clapping when something laudable was happening. Or we wanted it to happen. Even John Adams was inspired and threw in some extra drumming while the Tribe was pitching, and when we didn't have runners in scoring position.

Just 12,607 at the game tonight but it sure as heck felt like a full boat! A ton of people left after the 10th inning, though, which I found weird because I assumed everyone who was there tonight was a pretty diehard fan. But, whatever...I don't know how they live their lives!

Ubaldo was just aces again tonight, for the 4th time in a row in September! It was his 6th quality start in a row, today going 7 innings with 1 earned run and striking out NINE. He's only walked 3 batters in his last 4 starts - none of them today.

After that performance, and the team just not being able to score any dang runs, we really needed the bullpen to be on their best behavior. Of course, we saw the best of the bullpen too - Smith and Perez for the 8th and 9th, then Allen for the 10th and Shaw for the 11th. No messing around with Hagadone or Hill, no sir! Smith was flawless. Perez had us hiding behind our hats with the bases loaded and only 1 out, but he ended up striking out the side. Allen and Shaw were great too. Nobody gave up any runs!

The guys looked great in the field today, which is important both because they weren't scoring any runs and they looked awful the last two games. So now at least we know they are serious about defense.

The offense bit was weird because they did get 12 hits and walked 4 times. But hardly anyone was getting to second base! (Ooh la la)

Poor Michael Bourn...used to be if it was coming up in the late innings and Bourn didn't have a hit, I could say "Michael Bourn doesn't ever not get a hit!" and he'd come up with a double or something. Not today - he struck out 3 times and ultimately went 0 for 5.

Swisher was large and in charge today! He went 4 for 4 before they pulled him in a slick move to have some speed on the bases after he got a double in the 8th. Francona said it wasn't too hard of a decision because he got all his hits right-handed and they were done with lefty pitchers. Swish also had a couple nice plays at first as well.

Kipnis finally had a bit of a stir today! He went 2 for 5 and he's the guy that got the RBI that kept us going for 10 innings! He also had a sweet catch, running in to shallow center with his back to the plate and making the play in the 7th. Get hot? Please?

Carlos Santana was trying too hard today for real. He left 3 men on. But he did get a walk, because he is extremely good at walking.

Yan Gomes is just amazing. Utterly unbelievable that he is here with us! Today he caught a guy stealing and also picked off a very fast pinch runner at second. BEHOLD! He's so friggin cool, isn't he? On top of that he went 2 for 5 on the night and was the one who came in to score the winning run. Wanna hear something weird, though? He left 4 men on base! Huh!

OMG what was Asdrubal doing today? He went 2 for 5 and both hits were dribblers down the 3rd base line that were too soft to go foul. Like, he meant to hit them over the fence but the ball hit his bat wrong so they just meandered over to 3rd instead and they were so slow that Asdrubal beat them out. I mean, really! It was pretty weird! He was not really looking good otherwise but hey he got more hits than most guys. Home runs to follow!

Michael Brantley went 1 for 4. I forgot to mention last night, in my haste, that he was keeping up my wish for him to ride out the season with a 13-game hitting streak. Good news - he's up to 4! He did leave a sour taste in my mouth when he tried to steal after his one hit today and failed quite miserably, but you know, he can't carry this team guys!

Poor Mike Aviles...he really really sucks right now. Like 0 for 22 or some nonsense. And the guy is such a team player, like Kipnis. You know it's killing him! He went 0 for 3 today and so did our man Stubbs, who is also taking a turn for the worse. This needs fixing by October!!

Then there was Matt Carson, who you've now heard of. He was in hitting for Stubbs in the 9 position when he changed the world!

Hey, I bought my Goon Squad tee today! They had them at the big Team Shop. I wasn't sure if I wanted a Rally Chicken or a Goon Squad but they made the decision for me by only having one. They had a lot of really great-looking shirts in stock, by the way - not just GVArtwork ones. They had a really nice red Progressive Field shirt but I can't find it online. Didn't catch the brand.

Just to be fair - and just because I friggin' love the local tee shop gear - here's links to Fresh Brewed Tees, CLE Clothing, Homage tees and Eastbay (not local but some nice-looking stuff).

To wrap up - nice night at the park, great weather and great crowd, happy to spend time with an old guy, Ubaldo is the bomb, Yan Gomes right? and now we all know who Matt Carson is!!

Tomorrow is these Astros again and they are going to be gunning for us even harder just because they think they can beat us. Not a chance! Let's just hope we can get to their pitchers, dangit!

It'll be McAllister versus LHP 2.98. Don't be scared! He still plays for the Astros (102 losses thus far). Perhaps it'll be a case of doing well against good guys after sucking against a bad guy. Right?

There's always Matt Carson!

See you there!

Houston, YOU Have A Problem

I totally, totally stole today's blog title from @PureRage_Perez

Houston, YOU have a problem. Crank it Jerry. #Indians
— Pure Rage Perez (@PureRage_Perez) April 21, 2013

But, that guy stole Chris Perez's identity so what goes around comes around. Besides, you all subscribe to his Twitter feed already anyway, don't you?

Exciting game today, lots of stuff going on! Home runs! Triples! Stunning plays! A cow in the outfield!

Ubaldo pitched today and I still don't really want to talk about him. I hope this helped "get his mind right" blah blah blah. We'll see you in 5 days.

Nick Hagadone and Cody Allen collaborated for the 6th inning and didn't give up any runs, but Hagadone walked two. Allen actually ended up with the win even though he only threw one out. Hagadone had come in and gave up a sacrifice run in the form of Jiminez's base runners, and then walked two, so Allen did do a huge service to the team by coming in and getting that elusive third out without giving up any more runs (especially since we ended up winning by one).

Everyone was excited that in the 7th inning we were in a Smith-Pestano-Perez situation! Except Joe Smith was shaky shaky and gave up 2 hits before getting 2 strikeouts and a groundout. Whew!

Vinnie P came in and gave up a single but he got the next 3 out. Good ol' boring Vinnie. Chris Perez, on the other hand - not so boring! Usually he gives up one hit and gets a strikeout or two then gets the last guy to pop out. Tonight he gave up a double then hit a guy (no warning), then a guy who totally botched a bunt in his last at-bat laid down a good one and was almost safe but he did get the sacrifice done. Then he intentionally walks a guy and the bases are loaded and it's like "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"

The next guy hit a sharp grounder to Mark Reynolds...who was playing third...who fielded it with aplomb and tossed it over to first and that was the end. Are you kidding me?!

Nobody seemed to notice that Reynolds just saved Perez's ass, either. After he made the play he just sort of wandered the middle of the infield by himself.

Did anyone see that? No?

Reynolds wasn't the only one saving pitchers today. Mike Aviles helped out Jiminez with this Asdrubal-like play (he's still out with a wrist contusion). And Drew Stubbs, filling in in center, got a double play by catching a towering fly ball at the wall, with his back to home, and getting it back to first just before the runner. He's been chasing them down left and right this year. What do you think of that, Surprised Shelley Duncan?

Drew Stubbs is good!

Compared to yesterday, the team wasn't on fire at the plate. However they did rack up 4 homers, 2 doubles and a triple and came away with 11 hits. Almost everyone hit!

Michael Brantley only went 1 for 5 today, and Kipnis only went 1 for 4. Neither of them walked or got any runs.

Carlos Santana was the only other multi-year Indian in the lineup today and he was representin'! He went 2 for 5 with a capital-H Homer to Oklahoma and also a double. He's batting .380 and it's legit, with 13 hits in his last 10 games. I am guessing his bruised thumb is all fixed!

Nick Swisher only got one measly hit today, a single in 5 tries. But he was literally the most excited guy in the dugout each time a guy hit a home run! Go team!

 Mark Reynolds continues to be a stud at the plate (as well as in the field, as you saw. Third base?) getting his tied-for-league-leading 7th home run today. He's also nowhere near the top of the league in strikeouts, unlike Chris Davis (BAL) who leads the league in both! He's also tied for 4th in RBI. Reynolds went 1 for 3 today, he also had a walk.

Ryan Raburn is slowly simmering...today he went 2 for 4 with a double. He is batting .241 and while he has yet to match his regular season to his spring in terms of home runs (so far, none) three of his seven hits have been doubles. He doesn't have that many at-bats yet - he's got fewer than Aviles but more than Giambi.

Aviles wasn't feeling it at the plate today. But his play in the field was worth the spot in the lineup!

Yan Gomes, native Brazillian and good guy, is definitely beating Raburn in the homers-to-at-bats department. Today he got his second homer in just 19 at-bats. He also got a big-ass triple! Oh dear, Sweet Lou...oh dear...

Drew Stubbs - who I was just describing to my dad as "mediocre" - not only had his fancy-pants play but he got his first home run of the season today! He went 1 for 3 with a walk and is hitting a very respectable .259. Dig that Stubbs!

I dig him!

I do want to discuss something really quick here, after all this excitement - it was the most exciting, even game we've played this year (the high scorers were exciting but not even) but...should a team like this be playing games like this against a team like that? I'm appreciative of all the fun today but should we really have a while-knuckler against the Astros? Hopefully we can blame the close score on Ubaldo (oh look - we can!) and injuries but I know and I know you know that we can't play like this against anyone else. Well, maybe the Cubs. We can play like this against the Cubs. Putting two wins together and getting the bats going yesterday hopefully is a huge morale booster, and the team is ready to bust out now!

Anyway, we won the last two games after Smilin' Meryl and her cookie showed up, so here she is again JUST IN CASE. And...cookies.

Tomorrow we're right back in it in Chicago (according to @TheJK_Kid they've been there since 10:30 Sunday night) at 8:10. It'll be Justin "No Problem" Masterson versus RHP 4.70. On paper, that should be an awesome game - I like our odds!

I'll see you there!

Radio Chatter:
"For Ubaldo Jiminez, eventually he'll run out of time and his contract will expire."
- Tom Hamilton said, hopefully

"I wonder if today's code is 'WALK' because Ubaldo Jiminez and Eric Bedard are on the mound."
- Tom Hamilton on the season ticket holder special code

"The Indians would love to add some starting pitching, but nobody's going to trade you starting pitching in April."
- Tom Hamilton

"I think the FCC is closed on Sundays."
- Jim Rosenhaus fuels Tom Hamilton's dislike of station identification

"They will lead the league in Tommy John surgeries by the time the year is over."
- Tom Hamilton on the overuse of the Houston bullpen

"It went right over the head of the cow with the Houston cap on. You shoulda seen the cow roll his eyes upward."
- Tom Hamilton on the long foul ball in the 9th

"You don't get style points in this game, just be one run better."
- Tom Hamilton

Wishes Do Come True!

Didja hear? Didja listen or watch? Did you dedicate four hours to this masterpiece?!

THIS is the team we were all imagining in March, isn't it? Shaky/whatever pitching propped up by tons of big hits that kept on coming! How fun!!

Scott Kazmir made his debut and didn't do too hot. In fact, he only pitched 3 1/3 innings and didn't get the win. He gave up 6 runs on 7 hits including 2 home runs. He did strike out 4 in those few innings but uh...there was nothing much sharp or exciting about his performance. I don't want to hear crying about how long it was between each inning, either. Bob Feller's watching!

Bryan Shaw came in for a respectable 1 2/3 innings and only gave up one hit and struck out 2. He's our best new guy in the bullpen for sure, with a .93 ERA over 10 innings. Welcome, Bryan Shaw!

Corey Kluber was called on to pitch the final 4 innings and he pitched a beaut. He only gave up 2 hits and no runs, striking out 4. Pretty awesome for his second outing of the season, right?!

Our guys had 49 at-bats tonight and got 22 hits and 8 walks. They scored 19 runs (over the first 5 innings), had 3 homers and 6 doubles!

Let's start!

Michael Brantley had 6 at-bats at leadoff. At first he flied out then the team scored 5 runs and he got up again and hit a 2-run double! Later on he walked in a run and then got a single, going 2 for 6 on the night. His average is back up to .250. Aaaah!

Kipnis was back for his second game and got a hit, a walk and scored twice. He actually was the "least good" of all the lineup tonight but hey at least he was in there making a difference.

So before the game, Asdrubal was coming down the steps into the dugout and he fell. "Sprawled out" is what Francona said. He hurt his wrist - not broken, but bad enough to be annoying when he bats right. OMG....ASDRUBAL!!! Gah... Before he left the game he did go 1 for 2 and came in to score.

Mike Aviles came in for him and kept it up going 2 for 4 with a walk and coming in to score 2 runs. Pretty nice that our backup guy is able to do...dare I say more? ... than our starter. Go Aviles!

Nick Swisher had a smiley smiley good night! He went 4 for 7 with three doubles! He got 2 RBI and came in to score 3 times. Swisher - sweet!

Jason Giambi finally managed to impress me for real today, going 2 for 4 with a homer and a double. And two walks. And oh yeah - five RBI! He's still super old and has an overall crummy batting average but five RBI? Awesome!

The other big guys in the lineup followed suit with their own homers and doubles. Carlos Santana is now batting .378 and is near the top of the league in average. He went 2 for 5 tonight with a homer, a double and a walk, coming around to score 3 times. He got 2 RBI. Carlos Santana is not going away!

Neither is Mark Reynolds, it seems. He went 2 for 4 with a 3-run homer and ended up with 4 RBI on the the night. He's near the top of the league in both homers and RBI! He's batting .296, to boot. And he only struck out once which is pretty good considering he got on base the other 3 times. Woot!

Yan Gomes came in to bat for Reynolds later on, just for restees I think (I hope). He went 1 for 1! Also him and his wife (and Meryl Masterson) are lovely people!

The Chiz Kid didn't get a homer today like the big boys but he did get a double and ended up going 2 for 5, so that's not too shabby!

Drew Stubbs was super hot tonight. Maybe he knew I was finding him to be mediocre? He went 3 for 4 with a walk, 2 runs and an RBI! Cool! Later in the game he fouled a ball off his knee and they took him out and put in Raburn who did nothing but oh well.

Let's hope that Stubbs, Cabrera and Reynolds aren't hurt for real. I bet Cabrera sits out tomorrow. Stubbs might too - nobody likes a foul ball in their knee. Not sure what's up with Reynolds but if everyone is hitting home runs and doubles we sure as heck need him in there!

This is truly how I have expected every game to go this year. Maybe not 19 runs but 19 runs when we face bad teams. And it looks like we have to score 19 runs because our pitchers are giving up, like, 6. So we need to keep hitting like this forever.

I do want to point out tho, real quick, that our team has been racking up the strikeouts [pitched] lately. Today it was 10, yesterday 9, Thursday 11, Wednesday 10, Tuesday 16. Not bad, right? We're not leading the league as a team or anything but that's a bright spot in an otherwise dismal pitching record, right? (We're 2nd in the league in homers given up)

I also want to point out that last night Meryl Masterson and her cookie made an appearance in the blog in a sparkly-smiley homage gif, and tonight the team went nuts. Baseball is full of superstition, folks, and right now I am convinced the Sparkle Meryl and her cookie are a good luck charm for the Tribe, so she'll be making an appearance again tonight...just in case:

You know you want one!

Don't forget to check out the Tom Hamilton Has The Best Home Run Call In All of Baseball Facebook page for two home run calls! They're not up yet but they'll be in soon.

Tomorrow's game is at 2:10. It's Ubaldo versus LHP 7.04. If we need to score a ton of runs to overcome Ubaldo's suckitude, now is the time to do it. I hope they take tonight's momentum (minus injuries) and run with it! Deep in the heart of Texas!

See you there!

Radio Chatter:
"You're not going to see many more innings in which every member of the team hit the ball as hard as they did this inning."
- Tom Hamilton

"Even in Houston they know what a Bronx cheer sounds like."
- Tom Hamilton

"Nobody anymore can give you a word anymore that's 1 or 2 syllables when they can give you one that's got more syllables."
- Tom Hamilton on Asdrubal's wrist contusion

"Nobody up warming in the Houston bullpen, although the mascot has shed his jacket and is beginning to throw."
- Tom Hamilton in the 2nd inning

"The guy who's cringing in the Indians dugout is Houston native Michael Bourn who can't get in on the action."
- Tom Hamilton

"Kluber's one of those guys you feel should be more successful."
- Tom Hamilton

"He said he slipped and Major League Baseball said 'Yep, and your dog ate your homework. We've heard that one before.'"
- Tom Hamilton on Carlos Carrasco

"So many times you see a team score 19 runs one night then go 2 or 3 games with one run total."
- Tom Hamilton

"The Indians fans are on their feet - they're the only ones left at the park!"
- Tom Hamilton in the 9th

Do Not Want

I'm tired, boffins. Not only have I been working late nights and now I have a cold, these baseball games are simply exhausting. Nothing happens, but you gotta stick it out for 9 innings in case something does happen. Because in baseball, something can happen. But nothing ever does.

There wasn't even a slugfest tonight, on either side. Two crummy pitchers and two crummy lineups resulted in a crummy mediocre score of 3-2 Houston.

I wish I could have seen this game on TV - the Houston jerseys would have been the most exciting part of the game.

At least those jerseys are on fire!

Myers, Allen, Hill. Yawn yawn yawn. Joe Smith was back tonight and he looked a lot better than he did on Wednesday night, throwing 13 pitches and striking out 2.

Jason Kipnis was back tonight. He went 2 for 4, doubling his hit count for the season. No joke! He also stole a base, raising his SB total by 100%.

Asdrual and Swisher both went 1 for 3 with a walk. But no runs, no RBI. Both of their hits were doubles, so that's cool. Doesn't make Asdrubal's average any better than a single but whatever. Yay hit.

Mark Reynolds is still impressive! He went 2 for 3 today with two singles and a walk. I was telling my friend the other night that Reynolds doesn't get hits - he just gets home runs. They were saying something on the radio about that tonight too. He's got 12 hits and 5 of them have been homers, 4 doubles and only 3 singles.

Reynolds was on base when Chiz came up and got his second home run of the year. BOOM!

Drew Stubbs, who is going to hit between .200 and .250 no matter how the team does, it seems, went 1 for 4 tonight because that's how Drew Stubbs go.

And that's it. That's all for tonight's game. I at least stayed awake during the entire game today, unlike last night where I admit I fell asleep for a few innings.

I think Meryl Masterson commented on an old blog post the other day, one from August 4, 2012 where I talk a bit about her cookies. What do you think - is it her? I'd love to do a taste test of her cookies for y'all but I don't think I can afford the cookies + shipping. Plus, what if they're bad? The last family in Cleveland I'd want to piss off is the Mastersons. They're holding this town together! But then again what the hell am I saying? I've never met a cookie I didn't like. And Tony Sipp loves those cookies and I trust him.

Anyway, that's a nice thought to end this tragedy of a baseball game. Cookies made with love by Meryl Masterson.

Such a pretty cookie.

Ok, we're back in Houston again tomorrow night, this time at 7:10 for some reason (even though it's the Central Time Zone). It'll be the return of Scott Kazmir versus RHP 2.89. That's great - 2.89 runs. Just about what we're expected to get.

Oh well. See you there!

Radio Chatter:
"Whoever designed these uniforms really likes Halloween. [...] They're like softball uniforms."
- Tom Hamilton on the Houston uniforms

"Looking at the people here you'd say 'Oh my, it must be 40 degrees!'"
- Tom Hamilton thinks the Houston crowd is freeze babies

"We're talking about the Houston Astros. If this is a lineup you can't dominiate, you've got more problems than that. There's a reason this team is expected to lose over 100 games this season."
- Tom Hamilton

"You can't win in the American League scoring 3 runs a game."
- Tom Hamilton

"You don't need to do a whole lot right now to beat the Houston Astros."
- Jim Rosenhaus

Nobody is a Hero

Sunday strikes again, huh? I do need to stop complaining about Sundays because I think we're 5-7 on the year so it's not like we lose EVERY Sunday. But like I said before - it just hurts more because I usually get to see it on TV.

It was a stupid game today - stupid pitching and stupid hitting. It didn't matter that our pitchers gave up 7 because our batters could only muster 1. Everyone lost this game. Even Johnny Damon who thankfully didn't play today.

Lowe melted down and gave up 3 runs in 6 2/3. Three doesn't sound to bad but it's nearly unsurmountable when your team isn't hitting. Plus when he left the game he had 2 guys on base. He was pretty pissed at himself and once again started tossing shit around the dugout. Well, tossing it then picking it right back up because that's about as shitty as giving up 3 runs. Derek Lowe, the Gentleman Pitcher.

Smith did his thing and finished off the 7th without letting more score. Then Nick "Remember When He Was Good?" Hagadone came in gave up 3 runs, including a homer, in 2/3 of an inning. You know he was fucking good before because after giving up 3 runs in 2/3 of an inning his ERA is still under 6. Anyway he left and went in the dugout and had a bit of a "Remember when I was good?" sniffle over his performance (that's the kind of sad stuff you get to see on the TV on Sundays) while Esmil Rogers got the third out. But before he got the third out he gave up a home run.

Dayum!

On the offensive side, Choo was shut down. Asdrubal shut down. Kipnis was shut down. FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, BRANTLEY WAS SHUT DOWN!

Lopez got himself a hit - a big honkin' double off the wall. He then came around to score on a passed ball. End of story as far as runs go.

Lessee...Oh yeah, Shelley Duncan started today and even though he didn't hit (just like Asdrubal and Kipnis) he got TWO walks! SHELLEY EVERY DAY!!!

Today's big winner was You Can Always Count On Casey Kotchman (Usually). He went 2 for 4, hoofing out a single in the 5th.

Speaking of good fielding (we were talking about Casey Kotchman, of course) - Kipnis looked pretty fancy out there today. He had another nice one too. I also think that a couple of hits could have been avoided if Derek Lowe didn't fall to the side and check the bus schedule after every pitch. Several hits went right up the middle and it looked like Lowe was trying to get out of their way instead of do stuff like stop the ball.

Lowe did get a hit! He bunted himself to first on a bunt down the first-base line. He snuck by the Astros while they were waiting for it to roll foul. It didn't! This happened on one out. Excitement! Choo and Cabrera couldn't do shit to get him in. Horror!

That's about it for today. I did manage to get a lot of chores done due to the extra hour I had before the game so that's cool. I also got sunburn so now it really feels like summer time. Also I hope you had a chance to listen to the radio because Hammy and Rosie were continuing the saga of the FroYo machine and I can't really print it all here because there's so much of a back story. I did grab some for you. Just note that Rosie really likes the frozen yogurt machine and Hammy calls him out on it, but he likes it too.

Oh yeah also the Astros' announcer Milo Hamilton (no relation) came in to chat and call a couple innings. That was cool...he sounds great, and he's 85 years old! I really hope we get to keep our Hamilton that long...

We're off to face the Yankees now. I hope someone remembers to pick up our bats on the way from Houston to New York. I think they got left in Cleveland!

No break tomorrow - a 7:05 game. See you there!

Radio Chatter:
"In a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black, Tom Hamilton is eating a large plastic cup full of ice cream."

- Jim Rosenhsus

"The servers said 'Mr. Hamilton we advise you to get the biggest cup possible because Mr. Rosenhsus has requested a hose to be run from the machine to the booth'"

- Tom Hamilton

"You wonder Rosie if that's a function of hitting 8th. You think 'The pitcher is coming up. I should try to get extra bases.'"

- Tom Hamilton

"It's the bottom of the 6th, there are four hits and two runs and nobody's made an error - that's been called.

- Milo Hamilton

"You can see the video board on Mexico City, it's so big."

- Tom Hamilton

"Boy that ice cream has made you really sharp today. That's where the confidence comes in. You were confident when you went for the Butterfinger crunch..."
- Tom Hamilton after discussing Hagadone's lack of confidence

"I don't care if you're Manny Acta, Eric Wedge or even Joe Torre - if you don't have a bullpen you can count on, you're doomed any way because any decision you make blows up in your face."
- Tom Hamilton

Outpitched

That's pretty much it. Yeah, Gomez gave up a ton of runs and Accardo tacked on more but even if our pitchers only gave up 2 runs we still would have lost. This kid who pitched for Houston smoked us in a 1-run 6-hit complete game. Although I still contend our batting wasn't up to snuff yesterday either, against a RHP. We almost had no chance against a feisty LHP.

I listened to the game on the audio archive today and it was sort of sad to hear the guys talking so highly about how well Gomez was doing early in the game, myself knowing that there'd be an implosion in the 5th. I think it's time to switch it up and say Jeanmar's had too many chances to prove himself. Yeah he's had a couple of good games here and there but he's 4-7 and has given up 42 runs in 14 games. He looks especially bad today after Tomlin, Masterson and Jiminez looked SO good the lest 3 games.

Also, all our other starters were hitting an Jeanmar didn't get a hit today.

The Twitterverse already has a nickname picked out for Zach McAllister - EZ Mac. I like him, let's bring him.

On the flipside, Tony Sipp surprised everyone by going 1 2/3 and not giving up any runs, or any hits for that matter and actually striking out 2. Keep it up Tony or we're going to Jeanmar your ass.

Jeremy Accardo - 3 runs. Unreliable. He's either giving up no runs or 3 runs. What gives?

Since we were severely outpitched, there isn't much to say on the offensive side except maybe OMG ASDRUBAL!!! Three homers in 4 games!!  He's only 2 away from Kipnis who leads the team and is the only guy in double digits. Love it when Asdrubal's hot! Definitely definitely vying for your vote in the All Star Game! Hey, if you vote 25 times, they'll email you a coupon for half-off tickets for a bunch of games. Limited games and limited seating of course but if you're watching your pennies - cheap tix!

Can't forget Choo, though. He got another goddamn double today! He is tied for first in the league with Kinsler (23) and leads Gonzalez, Gordon, Ortiz and Cano. w00t!

Kipnis is back to being awesome again. He's as unpredictable as Accardo but I guess when you're 1 of 9 you can hide it. He went 3 for 4 today after going 0 for his last 12. *BOGGLE* Is that an inexperience thing? Whatever, tho - I'm still a Kipnises. Poor guy tripped over first base on a single and looked super embarrassed about it. He also spent all 3 of his on-bases not coming home, because no one hit after him.

Well of course Brantley hit after Kipnis, once. He went 1 for 3 and has a 6-game hitting streak. He's had 68 hits in his last 51 games. He's hitting .333 in June. HE ROCKS YOUR FACE!!!

Our top 4 guys (minus the variable "cleanup hitter") - Choo, Cabrera, Kipnis and Brantley - are hitting .284 right now. They are slowly climbing up to complete awesomeness. O, IF ONLY ... the rest of the lineup was sorted out (and by the rest I mean Santana and hurry-up-already-Hafner). And if we had SHELLEY EVERY DAY.

Do we need Kevin Youkilis? He's a rightie. But his average is only .243 versus left and .219 versus right. He's got a .225 overall average with a measly 4 homers and 7 doubles.

Hafner left the game at .246 but he's a lefty hitting .185 versus lefties. Youk would be playing 1st or 3rd, I suspect, not DH. Kotchman and Hannahan are both batting under .200 against lefties. Santana is slightly better at .206. Our third best lefty hitter is Marson, at .273 (after crazy-awesome Asdrubal and Brantley). But he doesn't get to play because of Santana. IT'S ALL MADDENING!


Clearly Youk is still a baseball player, unlike Johnny Damon, but he's still Boston's leftover old man trash (he's 43 days older than me). And he has crazy stupid facial hair.

I don't know why people are talking about Carlos Lee for us. He's even older (between Youk and Damon) and hits .146 versus lefties. No shit. He is batting .299 overall because he hits righties .340. So the last guy we need is Carlos Lee.

If you didn't know, we are last in ALL OF BASEBALL versus lefties at .216.

So I don't know...243 versus lefties is not bad, if that's the best we can get. It would put him 4th on the team versus left. But ugh, Boston. Isn't there someone in our minors who can hit lefties?? Didn't anyone plan for this?

I think instead of signing Youk we need a mandatory 4-day "how to hit lefties" clinic over the All Star break. Asdrubal and his .325 average versus lefties won't be available at that time, but Brantley and his .291 can tell the guys the secret to being smooth.

I'm not wanting to shake stuff up right now. I think we've got a lot of good stuff going on. Except for Johnny Damon - he was an awful, awful acquisition and he has done nothing but hurt the lineup. And the defense. And caused us to do a lot of shit to accommodate him and keep some good players from having a chance to develop.

AAAAAANNNNYYYWAY....tomorrow's the rubber match against Houston at 2:05 and it's on WKYC, yay! Too bad I won't get to see the seriously awesome starbursty Astros throwback uniforms that they wore Friday. Don't lie - that uniform the first thing you think of when you think of Nolan Ryan! Well maybe now you modern kids think of him this way:

[From the Pop Culture Has AIDS blog]

But the alternateens among us think of this when we think of Nolan Ryan. Or the Astros. Or "weird baseball uniforms":

[From the Hipster or Athlete blog]

Anyway, the Astros have nothing to do with Nolan Ryan any more, except for next year when his Rangers give them a sad welcome in to the American League.

Sorry for veering so far off topic but I TOTALLY LOVE THOSE UNIFORMS! Why can't our marketing department do something stupid like faddish disco uniforms to get fans in the seats, instead of insisting we sign Johnny Damon?

OK FINE. Baseball tomorrow, 2:05. See you there!

Radio Chatter:
"Keuchel could have easily thrown it away, or hit him in the coconut."
- Tom Hamilton on a nearly missed move to first

"This just came out of the blue. He retired 12 in a row then started giving up rockets."
- Tom Hamilton on Jeanmar Gomez

"The Indians are making some awfully soft outs here today."
- Tom Hamilton has identified the problem

"You ever weed-whack your weeds with one of those weed-whackers? That's what it looked like with Rosie going through his 14th cup from the frozen soft serve yogurt machine. [...] They've re-named it Rosie's Rustic Inn. A lof of folks have tried to get to that machine with no luck. Rosie's had that baby locked up."
"If I had 13 cups you had 20 then."
"You know, I was eating fruit. Your fruit came in the form of carmel, chocolate, sprinkles..."
- How Tom Hamilton opened the bottom of the 6th

"I bet this marriage isn't going to see the end of 2016. This is the best they could do?"
- Tom Hamilton harping on a bride and groom at the ballpark

"You've probably never heard of Keuchel before [...] but after today the Indians will never forget him."
- Tom Hamilton

"What's interesting now is that Shelley Duncan isn't playing, even against left-handed pitching."
- YES THAT IS INTERESTING TOM HAMILTON!

"Boy it's easy to play GM from the broadcast booth isn't it?"
- Tom Hamilton ponders signing Youk

"9-1, 8-1, 10-1 - whatever it is, it's not pretty."
- Tom Hamilton can't figure out the score

"If Choo tried to score, we'd be in the wrap-up show."
- Tom Hamilton on not testing Bogusevic's arm

Houston, We Have a Win!

Ugh, sorry about that title. What awful dreck. I'm guessing the person who writes titles for the MLB.com game recaps uses that one at least once a year. And I guess since we'll be facing Houston at least 6 times next year, I'll be using it once a year now too.

We won tonight and I'm stoked about it! Four in a row, Hamilton is back, in first by 1.5 games, Ubaldo had his best road outing of the year, Perez struck out the side on 13 pitches and the game included my favorite play - an out at the plate for the Indians (also an out at the plate for the Astros, which was quite a nice out but not one for me to be happy about)! And the Astros wore their most-groovy retro uniforms which I totally heart.

But I am also a little sad about this game. Why? WHYYYYYY?! Well because the Astros aren't that good, and they're sort of easy to roll over, pitching-wise. And their pitching isn't that good. Yet we had to scramble for TWO runs, and had TWO outs at the plate, and only got 4 hits. All of this against a right-hander. Yes, we were down one man - two men - with pitchers and Damon in the lineup. But we've done more with less.

Anyway, it's fun to be in first and it's mega-fun to win but I have trepidations  about it. That's all I say on that front.

UBALDO! That lanky motherfucker is finally doing well consistently, at home and on the road. Today he went 6 2/3 and struck out 8. Jeebus! He still walked 4, but 2 of them were in the first inning. Raise your hand if you nodded along with Tom Hamilton when he pronounced Jiminez to be toast in the first. Yeah, me too. Joke's on all of us!

Smith finished off that 1/3 of the 7th and then Pestano and Perez finished it off. Yeah they did! Vinnie had a rough inning with 3 "that coulda been big trouble!" outs. Perez cut through his batters in the 9th like butter. Just 13 pitches, 11 for strikes, 3 strikeouts. BALLGAME! 23 saves for that dude. Tee hee!

What up, Choo?! Hitting a triple! Jim Rosenhaus claims that he walked in to the park with Choo, who pointed out the short left field wall and said it was nice. Then Choo proceeded to ricochet one off said wall on his first at-bat. I suppose if anyone is going to be able to do that, it'll be Choo. But Rosie is one heck of a story teller, too!

Asdrubal! He tried to hit one out the park after Choo's big triple, but he only ended up getting the game-winning RBI (4 pitches in to the game). Later on he got a single (albeit a gift "single") then came around to score the insurance run!

Kipnis has been having a rough go of it. He's so streaky, guys...he got 5 hits in 2 games then he's gone 0 for 11 with just 1 walk. I want to love and get excited about him every day! EVERY DAY, KIPNIS!! I guess a young guy can't do that. He's no Brantley...or Kotchman.

I do love and get excited about Asdrubal every day, even though he had his 8th damn error today. WTF Asdrubal? Although I did like this bit of play, that showed just how nifty our infield is. Kipnis-Kotchman-Cabrera-Santana (4-3-6-2). Out at the plate!

Brantley got a hit. 5 games, y'all! :)

Damon is still on our team and he got a hit today.

No one else got a hit but everyone else played. Well, Cunningham, Lopez and Hannahan. No Shelley! Bah.

So really the news of the game was good pitching, and good defense. I just need to see some good batting now, too. Can't be squeaking by such shitty teams and expect to take care of the rest of the Majors.

But I'll go to bed happy, and we get to try again to heat up in Houston tomorrow. At 4:05 our time - see you there!

Radio Chatter:
"Just when you think you're about to turn the corner you take a look and it seems like the corner may go on forever."
- Tom Hamilton on Jiminez's walks

"That's where the handcuffs come in."
- Tom Hamilton taking his marriage joke a little too far

"They look like they're playing catch on a screened-in porch."
- Tom Hamilton on the Astros' bullpen layout

"They're going to be mincemeat for the Rangers for a few years."
- Tom Hamilton doesn't think the Astros are suited for either league

"His picture in the media guide...he needs to hire a lawyer."
- Tom Hamilton is appalled by Astros' pitcher Wesley Wright's photo

"Vinnie Pestano is going to the dugout saying 'Wow, I got rocked!' and it's 3-up 3-down!"
- Tom Hamilton on the close calls of the 8th

"I'm sorry but Major League Baseball has to do something to protect these pitchers."
- Tom Hamilton doesn't like it when guys don't get charged with errors

"They're doing the wave here and...is there any way that we can get participating in the wave as a federal offense?"
- Tom Hamilton has a lot of things to get off his chest since Omaha